We don’t need more impressive leaders. We need more wholehearted ones.

I’m reading the book Daring Greatly and it’s been an eye opening read so far. Admittedly, I’m not too far into the book but this felt like something I had to put in my own words.

Too many of us lead from scarcity. We’re constantly chasing the next metric, afraid of disappointing people, afraid of being exposed as not enough. But what if the best thing you brought to your team, your church, your family… isn’t perfection, but presence?

That’s the heart of wholehearted leadership. It’s showing up fully human and leading from grace instead of fear.

Here are ten traits the author suggests mark leaders worth following. Each one is a tension: something to cultivate and something to let go of.

1. Cultivate Authenticity and Let Go of What People Think

People don’t follow titles. They follow realness. Stop performing. Start showing up as your actual self. Vulnerability isn’t weakness. It’s credibility.

2. Cultivate Self-Compassion and Let Go of Perfectionism

Perfection is the fastest route to burnout. Grace builds resilience; shame builds walls. Lead yourself with the same kindness you preach to others.

3. Cultivate a Resilient Spirit and Let Go of Numbing

Leaders hurt. That’s part of the deal. The difference between leaders who last and those who quit isn’t pain. It’s whether they process it or hide from it. So it’s okay to hurt. Just call it what it is and grow through the pain.

4. Cultivate Gratitude & Joy and Let Go of Scarcity

Scarcity says “there’s never enough.” Gratitude says, “God’s already provided.” Joy isn’t naive. It’s rebellion against cynicism.

5. Cultivate Faith & Intuition and Let Go of Certainty

Control is comforting, but it kills creativity. Faith requires movement without a road map. Trust God more than your spreadsheets and formalized plans.

6. Cultivate Creativity and Let Go of Comparison

Comparison steals contentment. You can’t lead freely while staring sideways. Be faithful to your calling, not another person’s highlight reel.

7. Cultivate Play & Rest and Let Go of Exhaustion as a Badge of Honor

Busyness isn’t a fruit of the Spirit. Leaders who never rest eventually have nothing left to give. Sabbath is your strongest leadership strategy.

8. Cultivate Calm & Stillness and Let Go of Anxiety as a Lifestyle

Anxious leaders create anxious teams. You set the tone. Lead from peace, not panic.

9. Cultivate Meaningful Work and Let Go of “Supposed To”

Purpose beats pressure. Don’t build a life around expectations. Build it around calling. Do the work that matters most. I try to live by the motto of only do what only you can do. I heard that at a conference years ago. It’s been a game changer for me most days.

10. Cultivate Laughter, Song, & Dance and Let Go of Control

If you’ve forgotten how to laugh, you’ve forgotten how to lead. Joy is magnetic. Freedom is contagious. People follow leaders who are alive.

Leading from Enough

Wholehearted leadership isn’t about soft feelings or sentimental slogans. It’s about leading from a place of enoughness. I know it’s not a word. It’s the realization that you are the one who is there for such a time as this.

When you stop hustling for worth and start leading from grace, everything changes. Your tone, your presence, your team’s trust, and your own soul. It’s like you and your team become brand new people.

Because the truth is, your people don’t need a perfect leader. They need a whole one.