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Category: Leadership (Page 1 of 15)

It (I) Will Never Be Enough

May 17, 2024 / / 0 Comments

Tasks completed. Goals reached. Hurdles jumped. Achievements made. Boxes checked. All are signs that you’re moving in the right direction. Under normal circumstances these would be markers of success or advancement, but sometimes they don’t mean a hill of beans. And the sooner you realize it, the less it hurts.

Ok before we dig too deep here, yes I’m ok. No I’m not going off the deep end. Some of this is personal. Some is anecdotal. Some is simply the harsh realities of living in the world.

The long and short of this post is that to some people no matter what you do it will never be enough.

I’ve worked a variety of roles in my 48 years of life. From line cook to bartender, from manufacturer to car sales, from church planter to pastor of a staff, from coach to counselor there are tons of roles that I’ve filled in my life. I’ve had more jobs than many.

I’ve been working since I was able to get hired somewhere, and rarely did I ever have just one job at a time even while pulling a full course load in college. Sixty to 80 hour weeks have been a part of my life for decades.

I started bagging groceries at a local store. To be honest the job didn’t suck but it certainly wasn’t my favorite. So I quickly figured out what needed to be done to move up, and I did it. The same was the case in every other place I have ever worked. I look at the tasks, evaluate the job description, see what needs to be done to advance and I do it. I’m a task guy. I get things done. And I am driven by recognition and, if I’m being honest, the recognition of title and salary are probably ones that speak the louder to me than they should. Hence Lead Dairy Stock Crew was far more appealing than Bagger!

But there are times and environments when even the goals achieved, benchmarks met, hurdles jumped, and all the things checked off in sequence don’t yield the results you thought they would. For some people no matter what you do, it will never be enough.

And when that happens you kind of have two options. You can let it bring you down, cause you to spiral, throw up your hands and just say screw it all. That’s the bury your head in the sand kind of approach, and for some people that’s just what needs to happen for a season. But you can’t stay here long or you’ll end up in a depression filled stupor that will impact your performance and relationships.

The other option however is to realize that just because you’ll never be enough for this person, or that group, their opinion isn’t the only one out there. There are times when you just need to buckle down, do the work, and look past how others don’t see the value in what you bring to the table. Sure you can drop it all and go find greener pastures. That certainly is an option, but chances are you’ll be disappointed later too. Because not too far down the road you’ll find someone else who tells you by their actions that you’ll never be enough.

It’s unfortunate but your value will be determined by the person, or people, who mean the most to you. If that’s your employer, then you’ll probably bounce from job to job pretty quickly. If it’s your family, then you’ll be hurt when the kids don’t listen. If it’s your church, well it’s full of people carrying just as much baggage as you so be careful. But there could be a better place to find your value.

There’s only one place where your value isn’t dependent on your performance. And if you want to know where that place is, just ask. I’ll gladly show you where your value is, because I’ve had to go there often when I realize that for some people I’ll just never be enough no matter what they say.

Nine to Five

May 16, 2024 / / 3 Comments

I remember the movie from when I was growing up. I’ve probably only seen it once but the premise or maybe just the title is something that I think about off and on. Actually as I write this, I just finished a quick conversation with my wife about the whole 9-5 idea.

Some days I’m jealous of the times I had a regular job. A job that I could arrive at one bell and leave at the other. A job where I swiped my badge and logged my hours and left. A job where the job stayed in the building. A job that didn’t wake me up at night. A job that didn’t make my stomach turn because of how people act. A job where the harder I worked and the more I accomplished the clearer the lines for advancement. A job where hard work counted for something.

Some days I wonder what it would be like to be in a job where people didn’t criticize me for getting a new car. Where people didn’t think I was paid too much all because my family can travel to Disney (even though my wife is a travel advisor and that’s part of her job, not to mention the offsets she’s received as part of her stellar work). I wonder what it’s like to be able to buy a new pair of shoes or sport coat and not have people think I am squandering my wealth.

If I’m being honest some days I kind of wish my life fit that category. But then there are other days.

The days when I get to hold your baby as I sprinkle some water on his forehead and remind him that he’s been marked by Christ the crucified. Or I get to sit by the recliner of your grandma as she struggles for her final breath. I get to hold your head as you throw up because of the horrendous life change that was just forced upon you and you don’t know what to do next. Or I get to watch as you trust me to teach your child about how important faith is to them as they grow and mature.

The past 12 months have been some of the most challenging of my ministry and many people probably have no clue. From losing people for whom I cared deeply to people I thought were friends stop acting like friends to a few other situations that are more private than public. Let’s just say the struggle has been real.

I know some of you are going to read this and get all wigged out. But please don’t do that. Don’t read anything into what’s here. By now you should know that I’m kind of shoot straight kind of guy. Rarely do you have to read between the lines with what I’m saying. So just in case you’re having a hard time here you go.

Over the past couple of years I have definitely thought about what the future looks like. I’ve wondered if it wasn’t time to move back to a 9-5 kind of situation. I’ve contemplated if I’ve outlasted my usefulness in ministry. And just so you know I’m not alone in this, there are some startling stats about how many pastors have struggled with this over the past few years, like over 60% of us have considered leaving the ministry!

But when things start to go off the rails and my head and heart begin to hemorrhage these feelings of doubt, someone shoots me a text or calls me to offer a word of encouragement. Maybe I get to baptize a child. Or I hear why your son or daughter wants to be confirmed. I get to hold the hand of your dying loved one. I get to reassure you of the power of the resurrection even over your darkest grief. The doubt subsides and the reality peaks back through.

Now here’s where I need you to listen. I’m not saying that my occupation is better or worse than anyone else’s. I don’t write this to try to glorify myself over you or falsely lower myself in a backwards pride moment. I put this here because someday I’m going to need to come back and read it. Some day, when the dust settles I’ll be able to look here and be reminded of just how blessed I am to be surrounded by so many wonderful people.

As I close this post out I’m reminded of a quote that’s been rattling around in my nearly empty noggin. In preparation for a recent message I was reminded that the thing you value most will determine your value. There are times when I let my value be driven by the way others respond, or don’t respond to me.

Let’s make sure today isn’t one of those days.

Integrity

May 16, 2024 / / 0 Comments

In a world where filters reign supreme and authenticity sometimes feels like a rare Pokémon, let’s take a moment to appreciate the underrated hero of the character trait world: integrity. It’s like the Jedi of honesty. Yes, I’m talking about that seemingly old-fashioned concept of doing what you say and saying what you mean. Integrity isn’t just for boy scouts and tea parties; integrity is the must-have accessory for navigating the rollercoaster ride of life.

Now, let’s get one thing straight: integrity isn’t about being a goody two-shoes or playing by the rules 24/7. N0, it’s about being true to yourself in a world that’s constantly trying to mold you into something you’re not. It’s about being undivided and wholly minded. It’s like blowing society off and saying, “Nah, I’m gonna do me.” But to be you, you have to know who you are.

In a world where fakeness runs rampant, integrity is like a breath of fresh air. It’s the antidote for all the bologna in the world, the secret sauce that separates the real deal from the wannabes.

Think about it: when you’re true to yourself, you attract the good stuff—real connections, genuine friendships, and maybe even a free coffee from your local barista who just thinks honesty is cool! But when you’re living a lie, well, let’s just say you’re more likely to end up in a world of hurt.

Now, I’m not saying integrity is always easy. Nope, sometimes it’s like trying to juggle flaming torches while riding a unicycle! But here’s the thing: when you’re walking your talk, you’re unstoppable. It’s like strapping on a pair of boots and stomping through life with confidence.

And let’s talk about trust, shall we? If trust is like currency in the bank of life, then what about integrity? Well, it’s your golden ticket to unlimited withdrawals. When people know they can count on you to shoot straight, you become the go-to guru, the rockstar of reliability.

But hey, I get it—sometimes the truth hurts. Maybe you’ve got a secret stash of embarrassing childhood photos hidden in your closet, or perhaps you overstated your abilities. Maybe you totally blew off some commitments and now are rushing through life doing them half cracked and you’re afraid someone will notice. But here’s the kicker: owning your truth is liberating as heck. It’s like ripping off a Band-Aid and shouting, “Yeah, I’m flawed, but that’s who I am!”

So, here’s the deal, friends: embrace your inner rebel, wear your integrity like a badge of honor, and remember that being real is something that will never go out of style! Life’s too short for fake smiles and filtered realities. So, go ahead, show the world what you’re made of—warts, quirks, and all. After all, being authentic just might be your best side yet.

The Entrepreneurial Challenge

May 14, 2024 / / 1 Comment

By definition and entrepreneur is someone who starts things. And starters are essential to keeping a society growing! Whether it’s a new business, church, school, or just about any other new thing you can imagine without the starter types we’d be stuck in a rut!

But there’s a problem that happens in these start up scenarios that often causes them to fail. And if we’re honest with ourselves, it in a way is the starter’s fault. Many starters can’t make the transition to the roles needed to keep an organization or business sustaining .

You see it takes a special breed of individual to start something. But often the kind of person who starts something isn’t the same skills needed to keep it going.

Another term for this is the founder’s trap. The person who founded the organization keeps functioning like the starter when the organization is well beyond the founding stages.

You see when a new business or even nonprofit is started, the founder plays a lot of roles. Pretty much the founder does everything!

I remember when I started a church. I was the janitor, set up guy, tear down guy. I changed the lightbulbs and made sure the bathrooms were fully stocked. I vacuumed the carpets. I sometimes even pulled the trailer. I did the powerpoint set up and picked the songs we’d sing. I had my hand in just about every part of the church.

Now this is not to say no one was there to help but as the founder or starter I was kind of expected to be in all the things of the church. And that can’t last forever. The longer I let myself stay in the founder or starter seat, the harder it was to get out of that chair. The more things I did, the more things were expected of me. The starter needs to figure out a way to transition from the everything chair to the leadership chair and quickly give some authority away.

Entrepreneurs are wonderful people! I have some of those entrepreneurial tendencies to this day. I love to get a new thing going. But what I’ve learned, with some age and experience, is to give things away sooner rather than later.

Now here’s a little piece of experiential wisdom. The person you give it to likely won’t do it exactly the same way you do! And you have to be ok with that. If there’s a system, then they have to stay within the system. But if you give them the task of making it their own, you have to be willing to give it up!

I get asked questions a lot about things I have no control over anymore. I have given things to other people trusting that they will do the job to the standards we have set up. Sometimes they do. Sometimes they don’t. When they do it is applauded and I know very little about it. When things don’t stay within the framework of our structure or move toward the targets we have set up, then things go off the rails quickly and I have to get involved in areas I don’t want to touch anymore!

If you’re a starter kind of person, then find people you can trust and hand things over to them. Hand over tasks to people who can only handle tasks. But to those people who’ve proven themselves responsible, give away the authority that is need to get the job done. The more authority you can give away, the more work gets done and the more effective and efficient the organization becomes.

Truth

May 10, 2024 / / 0 Comments

I was taught as a child that telling the truth was important. As a matter of fact, as I grew up, telling the truth became a sign of who you are as a person. Perhaps another post for another day will be on integrity and hypocrisy, but for now we’ll stick with something that should be simple – tell the truth.

To get started we probably should make sure we’re all on the same page. There is a ton of misinformation swirling around about what truth even is. So what is truth? According to the dictionary truth is defined as the property of being in accord with fact.

Did you get that? For truth to be truth, it has to be true and based on fact. Unfortunately, we live in a day and age when the common understanding of truth is that which is true to me. But that my friends is not truth. Truth is not relative to your circumstances. Truth doesn’t change just because you don’t like or you don’t agree with it. You can’t erase truth or cancel it just because it hurts your feelings!

Think of the truth of gravity. Say one day you don’t like the idea of gravity. You think it is restrictive and oppressive to have to live your life with your feet planted on the ground. Some people seem to be able to defy gravity because they can jump higher or longer than you. It’s just not fair and it makes you feel bad about yourself. So you one day decide you no longer believe gravity to be truth.

It doesn’t work that way! Just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean you can get rid of it. Erasing gravity from a text book doesn’t mean it’s not real! Getting rid of a person or place or historical period because it infringes on your personal beliefs and happiness quotient is like trying to erase gravity just because you don’t like it. Can’t do that and you know it.

Ok so what do you do when you don’t like what’s going on around you? There are really only two options. You can suck it up buttercup and deal with the harsh realities that sometimes life sucks and try to do something positive with it. Or you can mope around retelling your particular version of truth to make yourself feel better. Neither will feel great in the moment but one will make you stronger on the other side. And if you need a hint, burying the truth won’t make you stronger. It will just let you live in denial a little longer – and no I don’t mean the river in Africa!

Look sometimes the truth hurts. It hurts to tell. It hurts to hear. And often it hurts to have it applied to you. But it’s the truth, which means it’s what really is or has happened! You can’t change that any more than you can change gravity.

I’m not a fan of liars. Actually, lying is one thing I just can’t stand. If you’re on my staff and I catch you lying, you won’t be there long. My kids know that I’d rather them tell me the hard truth than me catch them in a lie. I’ve walked away from friendships with people who just can’t tell the truth.

So be a truth teller. Be honest. Even if you don’t like the message or what it means could/should happen to you – the truth is the truth and your raw emotions don’t have the right to spin a truth to make your feel better.

A Day Off

May 6, 2024 / / 1 Comment

We love our weekends don’t we! You do the whole 9-5 thing and by the time the weekend hits, you’re just ready to catch up on the lawn, run the kids where they need for practice or game time, or just take it slow. Many of us will spend some extra time sleeping in on these weekend days.

I’m not necessarily that guy however. I don’t care for those full days of nothing to do. I’m kind of keep on moving kind of guy. I like a good project to keep me busy. Whether it’s a remodeling job or some lawn work or tending the garden, I’m a fan of filling my day with some kind of activity.

As many know, my full time gig is to pastor a church. With that comes a bit of a different schedule. My Sundays are kind of go time. And there are often Saturdays mixed in when I have things that just have to be done. So what about that weekend? Trust me this is not a complaint by any means.

One thing that’s kind of thrown at me from time to time is the idea of sabbath. For those who are not familiar with the term, Sabbath is a day of rest. It was taught in the Bible and was grasped by several cultures around the world as part of their rhythm of life.

But the sabbath probably isn’t what we all think it to be. There are likely tons of things written on the formal ways to observe the sabbath. There were restrictions on how many steps you could take in a day or what you could cook or buy and many other things to be honest. But they all presupposed one thing…working.

You see many will go all the way back to the book of Genesis when God created the heavens and earth and then rested on the 7th day as evidence that we need to take it easy and rest. But when did that day of rest happen? On the 7th day. After he had worked 6 days.

As a matter of fact, the way the sabbath was taught in ancient Jewish culture was in just that way. You were to take your sabbath rest after doing 6 full days of work. I know many people who will work some of those 60 hour weeks for a stretch and need some down time. I would agree that this is important! But if you’re not working 6 days then the sabbath isn’t what we’re after technically.

Look I’m not sayin the sabbath is bad or your five day week packing 60 hours isn’t hard work. I’m just saying that the details behind the sabbath presumed a 6 day work week. I don’t know if they tracked hours in ancient cultures like we do. I don’t know if they touted their long work week back then? Not sure that was the point. I think they worked until the job was done then they moved on. When it was time to stop to rest, well they stopped to rest. It was pretty much that simple.

Maybe we could try a little game in the weeks ahead. Work when you’re supposed to be working. I mean really give it your all. No social. No texting the friend for the weekend plans. No side gig on work time. No searching recipes or home reno designs on Pinterest. Just work. All in while you’re there.

Then when you get home, turn it off! Don’t handle work things on home time. When you’re with the family, be with the family. I’ve learned that it’s easy to allow a little work to creep in here and a little there until we’re pretty much working from home constantly.

I don’t think that a sabbath will solve the problem. I personally think we need to get a better handle on the way and time and locations of our work. I think we need to reestablish healthy rhythms and we’ll find mini sabbaths all through our day.

So find your pause button. Hit it from time to time. Leave your work at work and your home at home. I bet you’ll be able to find that day off or two already nestled in your current week you just had it spread out over a 7 day span of time.

Pie Slinging Problems

April 24, 2024 / / 1 Comment

The tendency, when we face a problem, is to look outside of us for the problem and inside for the solution. We do it all the time actually. It’s the blame game. Something goes wrong and it’s generally someone, or something, else’s fault.

You get to work late, so it’s traffic’s fault. You oversleep. It surely has to be that your alarm didn’t even go off. You can’t stick to a diet. Well it must be that the other people in your house don’t diet the same way you do so you give in just to make them feel better.

This is not a healthy approach to problem solving and it stems from a significant internal issue. There is a better and healthier way to look at things. The problem generally is inside of us while the solution is outside of us.

When we identify the problem as being someone else’s fault, we tend to think we are our own right answer. Going to be late for work? Instead of getting up a little earlier, which often means going to bed a little earlier, we drive a little faster. When the problem is cast onto someone else then the solution is sought by deeper resolve or greater effort.

But what happens if we flip the script on this? What happens when we admit our fault in the problem? Instead of throwing the pie of blame at someone else, we belly up to the table and eat the pie we baked with our own actions.

I unfortunately see this in my life as a pastor as well. It actually happens more often than I’d like to admit. We feel a little dry in our spiritual life. We aren’t getting anything out of church. We feel like the music is meh at best. We don’t like that style or the way he dresses. We don’t like the preaching style or the way she confronted me about that issue (even though I know I’m wrong).

Whatever it is, we all too often react the same way. We cast blame on the other party and leave. We feel like the worship isn’t what we want, so we leave for greener pastures elsewhere. Or we walk away because they are obviously the problem.

The issue is that problem will follow us. The issue is we’re doing it for the wrong reason, with the wrong heart. Maybe it’s not the worship that’s dry? Maybe it’s that our heart isn’t in the right place! Maybe it’s not that we were offended by the way we were called out for something? Maybe it’s that we actually feel guilty. And instead of repenting of these things, it’s easier to just turn and walk away.

But walking away from our brokenness won’t fix it. Blaming someone else for something that really is our problem, won’t make the problem go away. It might delay its effects. It might elongate the time between the problem and the explosion in our lives. But it won’t make it go away.

Isaiah really drives this home in his letter in the Bible. Look some don’t like the Bible because it’s all churchy, whatever that really means. But the Bible is massively practical. Even if you’re not a religious person, I’m sure you can get something very practical out of the things found in the Bible.

Isaiah walks through the life of Israel. He talks about their problems and the many issues they’ve faced in life. Then around chapter 43-44 he starts to show how it’s not that God is the problem. It’s that their heart is the problem. They were offering sacrifices but didn’t really care about them. They were showing up for worship and getting nothing out of it. They were there but not really present.

They were going through the motions! And so do we at times.

Isaiah’s answer…repent and come back. If you’ve run from the problems in life, blaming everyone along the way, then it’s time to stop running. It’s time to turn around, repent/apologize and make amends. It’s time to claim your piece in the pie so you can healthily move on.

If you’re a pie slinger, then you’re really missing out. Some of this pie might be a little bitter, but I can promise you that if you take time to claim your piece of the pie your relationships will be stronger and your life will actually be more fulfilling.

An Automated Life

April 12, 2024 / / 0 Comments

One thing that is becoming really popular that I’m not sure I’m totally on board with yet is the whole automated lifestyle. I definitely get the convenience factor! But there are some things that are best left to a human. Like driving, especially on the open road! 

I was in Phoenix not too long ago for a conference. We stayed a little farther away from the conference venue putting us in the Tempe area. The hotel was nestled right in the midst of the hustle and bustle of college life.

While walking down the sidewalk on our way to dinner, we were passed by one of those Waymo cars. If you’re not familiar, it’s a self driving car. It’s covered in cameras just about everywhere. It’s honestly pretty ugly, but that’s not the point.

It’s a self driving car! The cameras keep it from running over pedestrians. The mapping system gets you where you need to go with accuracy. But there’s no one in the driver’s seat! That bothers me. Like a lot!

While I’m not a huge fan of automated cars driving through cities or down freeways, I do think there are some things that can be automated to make life a little easier. I like those learning thermostats and automatic lights that you can control through an app. Those are especially cool when someone is watching your house and you decide to have a little fun by blinking lights at them. Really not nice but very funny!

There is a great convenience in the automated world that can be super helpful! I use out of office responders when I’m going to be away from tech for a while. I use template emails to respond to mass email lists. There are some great benefits when using automation, which got me thinking…

Can I automate other parts of my life? The parts that are easy to miss or even skip!

It isn’t really the same as a self driving car or learning thermostat but the principle is similar. What actions can I predetermine to prevent me from dropping the ball later?

A quick example is something my parents taught me growing up. Actually many parents do this! Before going to bed at night, we had to set our clothes out for the next day. This prevented a couple of problems. We weren’t rushing around in the morning. We were guaranteed to have clothes that matched (more of a problem for boys than girls). And the clothes were sure to be school appropriate.

I still do this to this day. I set my clothes out the night before so I can just get up and go in the morning. When I wake up at 4am to get ready for the gym, I don’t want to have to fumble around getting clothes out or forget a change of clothes for work. So I pack a duffle with my clothes for the day and set out gym clothes. Makes life way easier!

You can do this for your meals as well. You can’t automate them unless you do one of those order by mail things, but you can predetermine and prepare ahead of time. If you’re doing a healthy eating kick, you can precook your meals and package them in containers in your fridge making it a simple grab and go in the morning when you leave. I have friends that do freezer meal prep stuff where 3 or 4 of them get together and make a bunch of casseroles and then separate it out into containers to be put in the freezer. Bam automated healthy eating.

The point here is to find what areas in your life you can automate or predetermine. The more of your life you can predetermine, the less likely you’ll be to react in a moment where clarity is lacking. I guess a semi-automated life isn’t all that bad after all!

Decisions

April 11, 2024 / / 0 Comments

We all make them. Pretty much every moment of every day is filled with decisions. Some of us love to make decisions while others have a really hard time making them. But there are some rules when it comes to decision making that might be helpful.

To get things started I want to let you peek into the window of my life. I make decisions all the time. These decisions are mine but at times they are decisions made for others as well.

I decide what time to get up in the morning. I decide what foods I’m going to eat. I decide to get my clothes ready the night before so I don’t get tempted to skip going to the gym. I decide how late I’m going to stay at work and I decide whether or not I’m going to take work home.

Every single one of these decisions are very intentional which means there comes a time when I really don’t want to be making decisions. There are some times in life when I just need a break from making decisions.

We often have a conversation at home about dinner. What do you want for dinner? It’s a question I get asked frequently. My wife is a planner. She plans her day and our meals and many other things! But when I am asked what I want for dinner next Tuesday, tomorrow night or even tonight I generally am zero help. This is in no way a knock on my wife! I love the fact that there’s always something that’s planned for dinner! I just don’t like to make that decision. By the time I get home at night I really don’t want to make another decision. I make decisions all day that impact other people so letting someone else plan my dinner is a welcomed relief! If she plans it, I’ll gladly help make it. I just don’t really care what the meal theme is! And if I’m being totally honest, if I was in charge it would be burgers or steak pretty much on the nightly.

Everything we do is based off of a decision we make. But there’s a rule I follow when it comes to decision making. Ok there are a couple. The first one is pretty simple.

Make your decision then move on it. Don’t second guess it until you have the perspective necessary to evaluate it objectively. There’s a lot there, so here’s a quick unpacking.

So often I see people make decisions and immediately wonder if it was the right decision. They decide what to do and before they can even start moving there is a sense of guilt, confusion, fear and anxiety that overwhelm. It’s almost life stopping.

There’s a line that’s been attributed to a church guy named Martin Luther. The line goes like this If you’re going to sin, sin boldly. The idea is to just go for it. I mean when it comes to decision making, just decide then take action. Stop lallygagging around and dragging your feet. Be confident in the decision you made and take the necessary action to pull it off.

Never make a permanent decision based on a temporary emotion.

This is a big one that I see happen far too often. It’s easy to let the emotion of a moment, generally one of those heated moments filled with anger and hurt, to get in the way of a sensible approach to life.

Someone says something that we aren’t sure we like, so we blast them on social media, disown them as a friend, leave and never look back. We don’t like how things are going at work so we walk into the boss’s office and quit. Or in today’s climate we just don’t show up the next day. We hear someone say something that we feel is edgy or controversial and instead of having an honest conversation about it, we just break the friendship and walk away. We cancel them from our lives and act as if they never existed.

When we lead from our emotions we often open the door for some nasty storms to follow us. And if we’re honest, in the end those decisions have left us in a bit of a vulnerable situation.

So don’t make a decision that can alter your life when you’re in the heat of a moment. Never make a permanent decision in the heat of anger or the dread of fear. Don’t say yes to the guy just because you’re in a moment of desperation for someone and I guess he’ll do because he’s here. Permanent decisions made based on temporary emotions generally don’t work in the long run.

Decisions are critical to life. We have to make them but we have to be very careful that we’re not making rash decisions out of an emotionally turbulent moment.

Mental health is Health 

April 9, 2024 / / 1 Comment

One of the most challenging things in this world is asking for help. Especially if you’re a type A kind of personality. We like to do things our own way and blaze our trail. But sometimes there are situations in life when you just need to ask for help. You know one of those phone a friend kind of moments. 

Ok so let’s start here by assuring you I’m good! This post is a response to a situation I encountered recently where I was the helper not the one being helped. So please don’t get all weird on me. What follows is pretty important and serious stuff.

I’m not going to give any details here because it’s just not appropriate. What I can tell you is your mental health is your health. There was a time when “getting help” or “seeing a counselor” was seen as almost a sign of weakness. But in the past couple of years that has completely flipped. Now it seems like everyone sees a counselor or therapist almost making it seem like a popularity contest. 

But I want to assure you that it is not a contest, your mental health is your health. Getting help for a broken arm or blown appendix or mental stress isn’t weakness! We wouldn’t look down on someone who legit broke a limb if we saw them at the doctor. And on the other side of the coin, we don’t just go hang at the doctor’s office until something really wrong pops up. Health is health whether it’s in your arm, stomach or mind. 

One of my roles in life is that of chaplain for our local sheriff’s office. We see a ton of things in this role! And I never get a call unless it’s the worst day in someone’s life. We get to sit with a family at the tragic loss of a loved one. We go with, or in place of, a deputy to notify a family that their loved one has died. We’re also there for the officers who see some pretty tragic and awful things! 

We’re really there to listen and provide some form of support. It’s honestly what I do as a pastor but in this case it’s for the entire community. I wear a uniform that lets people know I’m with the Sheriff’s office. It’s a volunteer gig so it’s really an extension of the ministry I do at church.

Back to the mental health idea. It’s real! Depression is very real. Our jobs or relationships can cause our minds to take us places we’d never go on our own. The scenarios in which we find ourselves can play tricks on our brains forcing us to see what’s not there and carry a burden that isn’t even ours to carry. 

I’ve seen the aftermath of unchecked depression. I’ve seen the heartbreak left in its wake. I’ve watched as families have to try to recover after a husband or father takes his own life because things just seem too hard. I’ve seen children reeling in pain when their mom thought the only way out was to end her life. Mental Health is your health!

Friends take care of yourself and one another. The long and short of this post is to let you know there’s nothing wrong with getting help. Sometimes just talking through a challenging situation is enough to clear your head and let you move on. Other times you need a longer term relationship with a counselor. And there might even be a time when some form of medication is needed to help take the edge off of the stabbing pain depression causes in your brain.

Whatever the scenario, your pain is yours. Don’t compare it to someone else. Don’t just get over it. Find someone to talk to. Someone who will listen. Someone who can be an honest and balanced source of feedback.

When I enter a home to share the kind of news I share, I spend most of my time sitting silently. When the news is shared, the next thing I do is sit quietly and listen as the survivors go through layers of emotion. There’s nothing magic about it. It’s the simple process of unloading a burden and letting someone else listen.

Your mental health is your health. If you’re battling the demons of depression and anxiety, please stop trying to fight it alone. Look for someone who can sit and listen. Talk through it with someone who will care for you. There are tons of places that have qualified people to provide care for you. Your mental health is your health.

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