
I’ve put a lot of hours into this 1986 Dodge truck.
Ball joints. Wheel bearings. Tie rods. Suspension. Power steering. New tires. Alignment. Air cleaner. All new vacuum hoses.
Not all at once. That’s not how project trucks work.
One thing surfaces. You fix it. Something else shows up. You fix that. Then there’s a little wobble. A small leak. A noise you hadn’t noticed before. The truck almost seems like it’s holding out on you. Like it’s got a list somewhere and it’s releasing problems one at a time just to keep you humble.
Right now? It runs well. Everything functions. But there’s a small leak I’m still tracking down.
There’s always one more thing.
Here’s what I’ve learned: a project truck does something for you that a showroom truck never will.
A showroom truck is turnkey. You drive it off the lot, it works, and you don’t think about it until something goes wrong. It’s convenient. It’s low maintenance. But you don’t really know it.
A project truck you know. You’ve been underneath it. You’ve had skinned knuckles and wrong parts and trips back to the auto parts store. You’ve sat in the driveway wondering if you made a mistake buying the thing. And then you’ve also had that moment – engine running smooth, steering tight, wheels tracking straight – where you feel something that the guy in the new truck will never quite feel.
You earned it.
Patience isn’t just waiting. It’s working while you wait.
Marriage works the same way.
Nobody drives off the lot with a perfect marriage. You think you might. Those first few months feel like cruise control. They’re smooth, easy, just point and go.
(Funny thing: the cruise control on my truck doesn’t work either.)
Real marriage is more like the project truck. You fix one thing and another surfaces. Some seasons you’re just tracking down a leak something small and nagging that you haven’t quite put your finger on yet. Other seasons it feels like the whole thing is barely running and you’re not sure you have the parts to fix it.
But you stay under the hood. You don’t park it and walk away. You keep working.
And after 26 years, I can tell you the marriage you’ve worked on is worth more than the one that just ran easy. You know each other. You’ve been in the hard seasons together. You know how the other person handles pressure, and grief, and joy, and boredom. That’s not something you get from a relationship that never required anything of you.
The couples I worry about are the ones who’ve never had to fix anything. Because the first hard thing that comes along, they don’t know what to do. They don’t have the muscle memory for it.
Stay under the hood.
Leadership is no different.
Every leader I know who’s actually worth following has a repair list. Teams that didn’t work. Visions that stalled. Decisions they’d make differently. Seasons where the whole thing felt like it was running on three cylinders.
Leadership development isn’t a seminar. It’s accumulated mileage.
The leader who’s never had to diagnose a problem under pressure, never had to make a call without all the information, never had to fix something that broke on their watch – that leader is a showroom truck. Looks great. Unknown under pressure.
The hard stuff isn’t the enemy of good leadership. It’s the curriculum.
You don’t get to skip it. You just decide whether you’re going to learn from it or not.
The ’86 Dodge runs well right now.
But I already know something is coming. That’s just the nature of the truck. And honestly? I’ve made my peace with it. I don’t dread the next thing the way I used to. I’ve fixed enough of it to trust that I can figure out whatever surfaces next.
That’s what patience actually produces not just the ability to wait, but the confidence that comes from having worked through hard things before.
Faith. Marriage. Leadership. The project truck teaches it all.
Just don’t expect the cruise control to work.
What’s your project truck right now in work, in faith, in a relationship? I’d love to hear it.








