I’ve been spending a lot of time considering relationships lately. There are so many key relationships that we need to tend in our lives. We need to maintain healthy relationships in so many areas of life. From family to friends to co-works to neighbors balancing all of them and figuring out how to keep all these relationships going can be challenging. But what if we can categorize things into groupings that allow us to see our relationships from a different light.

I’ve been considering my relationships as focusing on three different areas or in three different directions. These directions are up, in and out.

Up

The relationship that fits in this category is the relationship we have with God. This is a super important relationship. We need to spend intentional time focusing on and growing in our relationship with God. It’s done through time in worship, Bible study and prayer to name just a few. This relationship is critical to say the very least. It’s important because it sets up how we view the other relationships in our lives. If this relationship is not in focus, then the other two categories will not be in focus either.

In

There’s a distinction in our world between people who are in and those who are out. This generally means that one group, the in group, believes what you believe and see life how you see life. While the out group is not seeing life how you see life and does not believe what and how you believe. We’ll use this category the same way. Those who fall in our in group are those who see, think, believe and even act like we do. They generally are people who are believers as well. They have an up relationship with God. They talk about that relationship and share very similar values that you share. Growing relationships in this category is critical.

This is like building your family. You are surrounding yourself with people who are of a similar mindset. It’s the whole strength in numbers or brotherhood in suffering mentality. When you’re surrounded by men and women who see life through a similar set of lenses as you see life, you’ll find comfort in rough times and power in good times.

Out

The final category of relationships are those who don’t see life the same way. And to be totally honest this set of relationships is extremely important just like the other two. Think of it as a triangle. You need all three sides and all three angles to make a proper triangle. Well to have a balanced and healthy lifestyle, you need all three types of relationships. The people who find their way into this category are those who don’t see life the same way you see life. But just because you don’t agree on the best color of carpet or the best sports team, doesn’t mean you can’t still engage in dialogue and have a healthy relationship. These are neighbors and coworkers, teammates and classmates.

We don’t share everything with these people but we do share some overlap in our interests and hobbies and extracurriculars. These people are everywhere and we need to invest some healthy time in these kinds of friendships and relationships.

The key for all of this is to balance the three. If we are too heavy on any one side of this triangle the whole thing gets wonky. We’ll spend some time over the next few weeks looking at lopsided relational triangles. But for now, here’s a little more explanation of the three sides and how we live them out.