living for eternity today

Tag: struggle

Grace Upon Grace

Bear One Another's Burdens - Verse Meaning Explained

I get to see all sorts of things in my line of work. Many people joke around about me only working an hour on a Sunday and the rest of the week goof off with video games or who knows what. To be totally honest, there are things that come across my desk as a pastor that I really wish I didn’t have to manage. But there are other parts of my day that make me just pause and realize how amazing some of the people who surround me truly are.

The situations that blindside us and pretty much throw us into a tailspin are the things no one wants to deal with. We run from them. We fight to get out of them. We try to make our way through them. But really we just want these unknown and unsolicited crappy days to just go away. Whether they are relationship meltdowns, financial crises, disturbing health news or family drama, we will have to come to grips with some level of all of these things throughout our lives. How we make it through some of these truly life changing moments often is determined by who we let into our circle.

One of the most blessed parts of my job is to be someone who is trusted to be part of someone’s circle. I get the honor of being the person who’s there when good times happen. I get to hear the good news of a baby born or a guy “popping the question.” I get to see the smiles and endless grins on the faces of those who are filled with the joy of living.

But I’m also honored to be invited into some of the darkest and scariest moments of people’s lives. I am called on when a loved one is ill, hospitalized or tragically dies. I’m there when a child needs medical attention. I’m invited into the circle when families are in turmoil and trust within friendships becomes broken. I get to be present when tears flow and hearts are broken and fear overwhelms.

I write these things not to pat myself on the back but to remind you that you are vastly important to me. No matter what level of connection I’ve had in your life, believe me when I say that walking with you through good or bad times is an absolute honor. It’s something I do not take lightly.

As I write this some of you are filled with joy while others are barely able to breathe under the pressures of life. No matter which end of that spectrum you may be on, know that I or someone like me is just a call away. We do have limitations and boundaries but in general we are here.

It is in these moments, entering someone’s story especially a story of crisis that I witness some of the most amazing displays of grace that one could ever imagine. It is in the moments when life is unraveling at a pace that is dizzying, that we get to witness someone’s true character. It’s not when life is easy that the real person shines forward. It’s when they are stressed beyond belief, broken seemingly beyond repair, weak beyond imagination that someone reveals who they truly are at their core.

I have recently come to realize that the strongest people in the world are not necessarily in a uniform, at the gym or wearing a cape. They are simple, ordinary people who put their feet on the floor in the morning when they’d rather stay in bed. They move forward when it would be way easier to fall backward. They stand when the world says to sit down. They remain silent when every ounce of their anger says to speak. They’re the people who demonstrate grace in ways that I didn’t know were humanly possible.

To the many people who’ve been a part of why circle and invited me to be a part of your story over the past several decades, thank you for showing me what grace looks like in so many ways. Thank you for being the evidence of grace upon grace in even the least graceful of circumstances. Thank you for the trust you’ve shown. Thank you for showing me what the love of Jesus looks like today.

Healthy Relationships

There’s a rhythm that needs to be established in the relationships we hold. There needs to be boundaries and some freedoms at the same time. But it seems in out culture today we’ve lost something important in our relationships. We’ve lost the depth in our relationships. We’ve become shallow.

We’re culture that wants our friends as long as they tell us what we want to hear, do what we want them to do, and go where we want them to go. And if we don’t get our way, then we run away or dismiss that person altogether. It’s a shame that we’ve fallen prey to the division that is happening in our world. And the worst part of this is that it’s happening in the church too, with people who claim to follow the ways of Jesus. Well that’s not Jesus’ way.

Relationships that can’t endure the hard moments demonstrate a lack of depth. Whether it’s a friendship or a dating relationship or neighbors or even a marriage, there needs to be a willingness to have hard conversations. Part of the issue we’re facing in our shallow lives today is that we can’t have hard conversations. We’d rather run than do something hard. But running has never been the plan God had for us. Running isolates and causes us to be alone.

We need to suck it up and do the hard things in life and have those hard conversations instead of cowering, running, or dismissing people with different views than we have.

Something that’s become extremely common in our lives especially as of late is isolation has become the normal. Whether it’s for health purposes or just our inability to deal with challenging circumstances, people are running away from everything and everyone that is important to them and isolating themselves. The Bible is clear that isolation is not a good thing! Not by any means is it good for a longterm strategy for life.

Sure we can back away to gather ourselves before we say something off color. We can take a little time out, so to speak, to gather our thoughts and heal a bit. But isolation is a longterm kind of thing. This is not God’s design. And frankly it is not healthy at all!

This week we talked about isolation, friendships, and how healthy relationships are critical to how we live out our faith. Some things to wrestle with as you consider your relationships.

Are you distancing yourself from someone in your life just because you don’t see things eye to eye? How can you move past that disagreement? What part of the disagreement is on you?

You see when we can claim a piece of the pie of our relationship breakdowns, we have a harder time blaming the other person. The point is that it takes two to have a problem. What part of the problem do you need to own up to?

Terrifying Statistics

Be kind to your pastors. I know that many of you are just that, extremely kind and generous to your pastors. And to those I have the privilege of doing ministry with you are beyond kind and generous, so I thank you! But the reality is like every profession, Pastors are struggling and according to the studies it seems their struggle is impacting them more than we realized.

Through the last 20+ months many studies have been done on the great resignation and transitions in life and work. But there have also been targeted studies dealing with specific occupations, including pastors. The most recent study shows that pastors are hurting…bad!

The shocking statistic shows that nationwide over 38% of pastors are or have been contemplating leaving their position. And to make that even more real the research broke that out to pastors from mainline denominations where the number skyrocketed to 51% of pastors contemplating leaving! That’s scary!

Now before we get all suck it up buttercup, which is my normal reaction to things like this, we have to understand the landscape a bit. As pastors, we were not trained on how to lead and do ministry in a divisive context. We were not given the tools and resources on how to handle real relationships in congregations that we thought were strong implode overnight. We are not financial gurus. We are not perfect husbands and fathers. We are not superbly gifted in leadership or administration. For some reason many pastors act as if this whole church thing is a competition or something. We are taught, albeit implicitly, that growing churches with good finances and clear discipleship growth is a sign of healthy leadership and good biblical teaching. If we’re not seeing these things then are we really doing our jobs right?

I have to tell you these are dangerous places to sit!

If you’ve made it this far and you’re not a pastor, this one is for you. What can you do? Encourage your pastor. I don’t mean give them gifts, but real encouragement. Not just a good sermon pastor comment on the way out the door. Share a story of how the bible came to life in your week. Tell of the struggles you’re facing as you seek to apply the biblical teaching to your job as a teacher or trash collector or physician. Ask them questions about things you don’t understand in your daily devotional life. Show up! Seriously, a great source of encouragement for your pastor is to just be present. Be present in worship. Be present in bible class. Be present in service to those around you in your congregation and community. Be present in sharing your faith story with those around you.

Look pastors it’s going to be hard. And if I’m being honest, and not some negative Nancy, it’s going to get worse. I know that doesn’t sound very encouraging. But stick with me. The one thing you can do to break through this time of challenge and desire to quit is to realize what you’re actually here to do.

Your God-given mission is not to grow the church. Your call is not to build a bigger building or call another staff member. Your goal isn’t to get your members back in church or to make all the right decisions. Your call has nothing to do with balancing a budget. These are all good things and things to work toward, but they are not the main thing.

We are called to do two things: preach and administer God’s good gifts (sacraments). Really and truly that’s what we’re here to do. We are here to give away to our churches and communities everyday the wonderful message of how grace conquered sin, death and hell. We are called to make sure the gifts of baptism and communion are present as often as possible and that those who come participate in these gifts know what they are and why they are of value.

If I can give you any encouragement brothers it is this. You’re not in this alone so stop acting like it. Whether you’re in a mainline denomination or a nondenominational setting, there are thousands of us called by God to bring the joy of Christ to the world around us. Reach out to another pastor. Confide in your leadership. Share your struggles and your successes. It’s ok to celebrate the wins no matter how small! It’s ok to mourn the losses no matter the size. Reach out to someone if you’re struggling. Pray with your people. Know that we’re in this together, so reach out and we’ll share the burdens of ministry together.

Stay the course my friends. Reach out if you need some encouragement and coaching. I’m always here.

Do Not Run-away

Well, it’s Wednesday and if you’re awake anywhere in the world, you undoubtedly know that life can sometimes be challenging. As a matter of fact the odds are pretty strong that you are having a bad day right now.

If you’re having a great day, then good for you! I pray it stays that way and that this might be helpful sometime down the road. If you’re in one of those rough slumps, then I want to encourage you to keep going.

There are a couple different natural reactions to challenge in life. We call them fight or flight typically. The one is to rise above and push hard to bull your way through a challenging ordeal. The other is probably more typical, and it involves walking away and never looking back.

While the fight or flight methods are generally applied across the board in a variety of scenarios, there is a stark reality that we rarely consider when it comes to running away from our struggles or from those situations that are hard for us. You can’t really run away. It just doesn’t work like that.

You cannot run away from your problems because you bring you with you wherever you go. Nine times out of ten, we play a significant role in the problem we’re trying to flee. And if we’re trying to get away from a problem that we’re part of, then it just won’t work. You can’t run away from yourself!

We love to push blame on other people when it comes to our problems. It’s always someone else’s fault. She said such and such. He wasn’t kind. But what if the issue is inside us? What if it’s not her words or his tone or their actions? What if the problem really is our predisposition to not be able to handle our own shortcomings?

I know it’s tempting to hit the road when challenges arise. I know that many feel this is the best way to handle things, but it really isn’t. It might get you away from the person you no longer want to be around. It might get you out of a situation that’s uncomfortable. But it won’t fix anything, because there’s a really good chance at least part of the ownership of the problem lies in you.

Take time to evaluate the real root of the problem. Take inventory of what role you played in the situation from which you’re trying to run. Pause to collect yourself. Then step back in with a cool head and honest heart. It’s the only way to make sure you don’t take the problem with you wherever you go.

Things Jesus never said “Everything will be good”

Growing up I went to church just about every Sunday. I didn’t have an option. My parents even made me acolyte (fun church word for light the candles). The pastor asked me to read the readings when no one else was around to do them. And over and over the message that was taught, often unknowingly, was that the more time we spent with Jesus the better our lives would become. This message has gotten so prevelant that pastors are preaching it and writing books about how to have our best life now with little mention of Jesus anywhere at all!

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Make A Way

I’m preparing to head out to a pretty monstrous event this week. I’ll be surrounded by 25,000 young people who are all gathering for one reason, to worship and grow in their faith. I’ve been to this gathering several times before and it’s always a fantastic experience! This year they’re bringing in recording artist I Am They. This group has become a favorite of mine. They’re more mellow than some but they’re songs have a powerful message. Not too long ago I wrote about their song Scars. It’s definitely worth a listen! But today we’ll focus on a new one.

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I Have This Hope

Ever feel like all is lost? Ever feel like nothing can go right? Ever feel like just throwing in the towel and just giving up? Well, I know the feeling. There are days when it feels like everything I touch just falls apart. Perhaps it’s a word I have spoken that is taken out of context and ends up hurting someone I love. Maybe I didn’t go out of my way to show how much I care quite enough and it’s taken personally. Whatever the trouble, sometimes we just need a little hope.  Continue reading

Ever Be

Thumbnail.aspxThis week we begin our journey through a time in Jesus’ life known as Holy Week. It’s also been called his passion. This week is marked by his acceptance one and betrayal/death another. This week shows us how quickly we change our point of view. This week is a time to reflect on the inconsistency of humanity and the consistency of God.  Continue reading

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