Tag: honest

I’m Not Strong Enough for This

There are moments in life when strength simply runs out.

Not the kind of strength you use to get through a busy week or solve a problem at work. I mean the deeper strength. The kind you assume will be there when life really falls apart.

Last night, my strength failed.

In the middle of the night, everything changed. My wife needed emergency help. I could do nothing. I knew nothing. I had zero power. I was weak and my strength was gone. In what felt like hours but really was mere minutes strangers in uniforms were filling our home. Lights were flashing outside. Voices were giving instructions. Equipment was being unpacked.

And I stood there.

Helpless.

There was nothing I could fix.
Nothing I could solve.
Nothing I could do.

I couldn’t stop what was happening.
I couldn’t protect her from it.
I couldn’t make it go away.

For someone who spends most of his life trying to help people, it was one of the most powerless moments I’ve ever experienced.

All I could do was trust other people to do their jobs.

And pray.

It’s strange how quickly life exposes our deep seated illusion of control. Most days we operate as if we’re holding everything together. We plan. We organize. We fix. We lead. We manage.

But sometimes life reminds you that you’re not actually the one in control.

Last night reminded me of something I already knew but don’t always feel.

I’m not strong enough for this.

And maybe that’s the point.

The apostle Paul once wrote something that never made much sense to me until moments like this.

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”
— 2 Corinthians 12:9 (ESV)

We spend so much time trying to prove we’re strong enough.

Strong enough to lead.
Strong enough to carry responsibility.
Strong enough to handle whatever comes next.
Strong enough to protect our spouse no matter what.

But the truth is, eventually life hands you something that proves otherwise.

And when that moment comes, you discover something surprising.

Faith isn’t about being strong enough.

Faith is about knowing where to lean when you’re not.

That night I leaned on paramedics.
I leaned on doctors.
I leaned on friends who were praying.

But most of all, I leaned on Jesus.

Because when you realize you’re not strong enough, you begin to discover the quiet strength of the One who is.

Today I’m writing this from a place of gratitude.

Grateful for the people who showed up in a moment of crisis.
Grateful for the prayers of friends and family.
Grateful for the reminder that I don’t have to hold everything together.
Grateful that my wife will make a full recovery, even if I will never be the same again.

And most of all, grateful that even on the hardest nights of life, God is still holding us.

Sometimes the most honest prayer you can pray is:

“God, I’m not strong enough for this.”

And the good news of the gospel is that you were never meant to be.

A Lost Voice

When We've Lost Our Voice | The Prodigal Thought

Lion’s are one my favorite animals, aside from Koala bears but that’s a post for a different time. They are one of only four different species of cat who can actually roar. And roar they do! A lion’s roar can be heard for up to five miles in the right conditions. It’s pretty spectacular to say the least. A lion will roar for 3 basic purposes. And each of those reasons can teach us something about our own lives and how we should use our own voice.

Direction

A lion will roar to indicate where the pride is and where they should be headed. A lion will sound its roar to alert everyone around where it is. It’s their way of saying stay away this is my territory. They don’t merely roar to alert any potential threats to their presence. It’s often used to tell the pride where to go for safe passage or lush grounds or where food can be found. The roar of a lion can be used as a mapping system of sorts.

I personally think that we as humans, and I’m going to speak directly to men because I am one but this likely applies to women as well, we have lost our roar. We have failed to roar for the safety and provision and direction of our families. We’ve stopped speaking up for our wives and children. We’ve let culture and politics and education systems remove our voice. We’ve grown passively quiet and in the process let our children, wives and families wander aimlessly without direction or protection.

Roaring doesn’t mean yelling. It means using your God-given voice to alert your family to danger, which means you have to be present. It means to use your voice to call out direction to those around you. Not as a dictator but as someone who’s looking out for those around you. When we start to use our voice again, we’ll speak life into our family and provide direction to those around us.

Power

They roar to demonstrate their power and ability. The roar of a lion is so powerful that it echoes through the jungle. You can hear it for miles in every direction. They do this to demonstrate that they are in charge. No pride of lions is led by a quiet lion. No lion will ever abdicate his position in the pride to someone else because he doesn’t like using his voice.

Again I focus on men but this is equal for all, we’ve let our voices grow eerily silent. Maybe it’s because we’re tired but I fear it’s because too many men, and women, don’t think their voice matters or have been belittled too many times to let their voices be heard. Men I know that it’s not easy some days. I know that we don’t know whether we should hold the door for the woman entering behind us at a store because we don’t know how they’re going to react. I know that it’s hard to compliment someone because we’re not sure how they’ll take it. But you have a voice. It’s time to use it.

Your voice isn’t just the vocal box in your body that allows you to speak words others can hear. Your voice is your actions and lifestyle. Using your voice isn’t about yelling to demonstrate dictatorial power. It’s about letting people know who you are what you stand for. Using your voice is about standing in the gaps in society to speak up for those whose voice isn’t being heard. You voice is about lifting others up not putting others down.

The church collectively has grown just as silent as the individuals in it. We need to roar. Jesus is the lion of the tribe of Judah. When he roared from the cross, the graves split open. What would happen if we would roar with His power and His truth? Could we split the death markers in our own culture?

Protection

The lion is the king of the jungle. A good king not only has power but it also is in charge of protecting those in his care. The Disney movie, Lion King, is a great image of what happens when a king goes off the rails and stops using his power for the benefit of the people. If you’re not familiar with the movie, a bad lion – Scar – sides with the less than desirable hyenas and they convert the lush pride land to the barren dead land in very short time. He doesn’t try to protect the rest of the animals, rather he looks out for himself.

I think we can learn a lot from the way Scar leads the lions and how he treats the rest of the jungle. He doesn’t take his position seriously. He uses the other lions for his personal benefit. He abandons the weaker. He expects the world to bow down to him even though he hasn’t earned it. He abandons his voice for a moment of self pleasure.

We run the risk of doing the very same thing. When we don’t flex our voice boxes and let our roar come out, we end up leaning into our selfish ambitions and personal pride moments. It’s time for men and women to stand up and speak. We need to speak for what we believe to be true, not putting someone down to make ourselves feel better but honestly, rightly, boldly, unapologetically speaking for what is right. We need to confidently and clearly speak to defend the things we love. We need to speak for those who cannot speak for themselves. We need to speak for our future while accounting for our past and present. All in all we need to roar and make those roars heard far and wide. It’s time to protect our pride land or Scar will soon cripple what we value most.

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