Tag: love (Page 3 of 9)

Mental health is Health

April 9, 2024 / Derrick Hurst / 1 Comment

One of the most challenging things in this world is asking for help. Especially if you’re a type A kind of personality. We like to do things our own way and blaze our trail. But sometimes there are situations in life when you just need to ask for help. You know one of those phone a friend kind of moments.

Ok so let’s start here by assuring you I’m good! This post is a response to a situation I encountered recently where I was the helper not the one being helped. So please don’t get all weird on me. What follows is pretty important and serious stuff.

I’m not going to give any details here because it’s just not appropriate. What I can tell you is your mental health is your health. There was a time when “getting help” or “seeing a counselor” was seen as almost a sign of weakness. But in the past couple of years that has completely flipped. Now it seems like everyone sees a counselor or therapist almost making it seem like a popularity contest.

But I want to assure you that it is not a contest, your mental health is your health. Getting help for a broken arm or blown appendix or mental stress isn’t weakness! We wouldn’t look down on someone who legit broke a limb if we saw them at the doctor. And on the other side of the coin, we don’t just go hang at the doctor’s office until something really wrong pops up. Health is health whether it’s in your arm, stomach or mind.

One of my roles in life is that of chaplain for our local sheriff’s office. We see a ton of things in this role! And I never get a call unless it’s the worst day in someone’s life. We get to sit with a family at the tragic loss of a loved one. We go with, or in place of, a deputy to notify a family that their loved one has died. We’re also there for the officers who see some pretty tragic and awful things!

We’re really there to listen and provide some form of support. It’s honestly what I do as a pastor but in this case it’s for the entire community. I wear a uniform that lets people know I’m with the Sheriff’s office. It’s a volunteer gig so it’s really an extension of the ministry I do at church.

Back to the mental health idea. It’s real! Depression is very real. Our jobs or relationships can cause our minds to take us places we’d never go on our own. The scenarios in which we find ourselves can play tricks on our brains forcing us to see what’s not there and carry a burden that isn’t even ours to carry.

I’ve seen the aftermath of unchecked depression. I’ve seen the heartbreak left in its wake. I’ve watched as families have to try to recover after a husband or father takes his own life because things just seem too hard. I’ve seen children reeling in pain when their mom thought the only way out was to end her life. Mental Health is your health!

Friends take care of yourself and one another. The long and short of this post is to let you know there’s nothing wrong with getting help. Sometimes just talking through a challenging situation is enough to clear your head and let you move on. Other times you need a longer term relationship with a counselor. And there might even be a time when some form of medication is needed to help take the edge off of the stabbing pain depression causes in your brain.

Whatever the scenario, your pain is yours. Don’t compare it to someone else. Don’t just get over it. Find someone to talk to. Someone who will listen. Someone who can be an honest and balanced source of feedback.

When I enter a home to share the kind of news I share, I spend most of my time sitting silently. When the news is shared, the next thing I do is sit quietly and listen as the survivors go through layers of emotion. There’s nothing magic about it. It’s the simple process of unloading a burden and letting someone else listen.

Your mental health is your health. If you’re battling the demons of depression and anxiety, please stop trying to fight it alone. Look for someone who can sit and listen. Talk through it with someone who will care for you. There are tons of places that have qualified people to provide care for you. Your mental health is your health.

Signs Of A Real Church

October 23, 2023 / Derrick Hurst / 0 Comments

I spend a lot of time with many people talking about church stuff. From pastors discussing how they do worship and lead programs to church members about getting involved in serving or studying the Bible to people who want nothing to do with church, I see them all. And each of them come with their own set of benefits and challenges.

Recently I talked about a book of the Bible, 1 Thessalonians. Ok I know weird name but we have some doozies in states around the country as well!

Thessalonians is a letter that was written to a very young church in parts of Europe around the year 50 AD. The church was just getting started after a man named Paul came and started sharing what he believed about Jesus and the whole death and resurrection bit. He talked about how lives should look different if we actually believed this all to be true.

Well his stay in this bustling town didn’t last very long because some people were threatened by a message that wasn’t theirs. So they ran him off. Fleeing to a neighboring city he wrote a letter to those that remained as part of this fledgling church. His letter is packed with encouragement and thankfulness. But woven into the first few verses are three things Paul highlights that I believe are marks of a true, real, authentic and spirit filled church.

Work of Faith

The first thing Paul mentions is this idea of a work of faith. Now we have to make sure to get this right. This is not a work that leads to faith or earns some favor with God. This is a work done because of faith. You believe something so deeply that it changes who you are and how you live.

There’s another verse in the bible that says faith without works is dead. This means a person can’t say they believe and then have nothing in their lives change! If you really believe it then it has to shape who you are and how you live. This little church start known as Thessalonians had just that – a powerful faith in Jesus that led them to live a totally different kind of life. Turns out that these new Christians didn’t just say they believed in Jesus, but they actually let it change how they lived as husbands and wives, parents and children, masters and slaves. Just about every aspect of their lives was lived out in faithful obedience to God’s word. Pretty cool huh!

Labor of Love

The idea of something being a labor means it’s work, often hard work that’s not all that pleasant at the time. When you have to labor through something it often means pain, or at least discomfort. It means some bit of self sacrifice to make this happen.

Paul tells this little church that their love for people (people like them and not like them) was something to take note of! They loved their neighbors, even their enemies and it was obvious to just about everyone. The Bible tells us that the world will know that we are followers of Jesus, not by how we lead our worship services or what hymns we sing. Nope they’ll know we are Christians by our love.

This group of new followers of Jesus got the love part down cold. Not some roses and candy kind of love either. This was a love that was able to welcome the person no one wanted to be around. It was going out of their way to help widows and orphans. It was serving the poor at their own expense. This love was strong, powerful and super evident to the world around them.

Steadfastness of Hope

The idea of being steadfast is to endure or stand the test. The third mark of the true church that Paul here highlights is about hope that can withstand some pretty crappy stuff. This church was started under duress. Paul was there only for a few weeks preaching and teaching. Then he was run out of own by people who didn’t want anything to do with him.

It was under these conditions that this church came into existence. It was under these conditions that this little group of followers was forged in character of hope. If you can have hope in the power of Christ through these types of scenarios, then hope has become part of your DNA.

So there are probably more things that we could say about marks of the church. The whole preaching of the gospel and rightly administering the sacraments are hugely important. But here in 1 Thessalonians, Paul doesn’t use those as examples. He does however say he knows they are real followers of God because of their working faith, laboring love, and enduring hope.

This is what we should all attain to as Christians. Just imagine how different life would be if we had these three markers in all we do.

Kid that drawing sucks

May 31, 2023 / Derrick Hurst / 0 Comments

Ok so the title is a little harsh but it’s there for a reason. I remember when my kids were younger and would draw pictures or color something. They would do their best to stay in the lines but the younger they were the messier it looked. But not once did I look at my sons or daughter and tell them kid that drawing sucks!

I mean who would do that? I don’t know a parent out there who would look at a picture their child made for them and tell them how awful it looked. Ok to be fair after the oooh and ahhh would wear off, there were times when I’d tell them how thankful I was for the picture and then point out where the lines were on the paper. But more in a building up sort of way and not a you suck kind of way.

I use this quick analogy that many of us can relate to, in an effort to pull us into a different situation. Prayer. Sometimes I think we approach prayer like we’re afraid God is going to tell us our drawing sucks!

We complain about not having the right words or not really thinking we’re good enough. We make excuses that we aren’t sure how it all works or what if we say something wrong. But just like a loving parent would never tell their child that their drawing sucked, so also God won’t pick apart your prayer either!

Look, I get it. Talking to someone you can’t see or hear directly is kind of an odd thing. But that should actually make it a bit easier. We don’t have to worry about body language or getting some weird judgmental thing in return. We just talk. Talk about anything really. Talk about our hopes or dream. Talk about our fears or things that really just burn us up inside. Talk about things we want or need. Pretty much if you can think of it, he really wants to hear from you about it.

Prayer, like a child’s drawing, isn’t going to always sound perfect. We will flub up a word or two. We’ll say things that don’t really make sense. But there’s a verse in the Bible that reminds us that even when we can’t figure out what to pray, God fills in the gaps. That’s the joy of prayer. We don’t even have to be good at it for God to hang it on his refrigerator.

So what’s on your mind? What are you wrestling with in your heart? Unload it on God. Just in one of those alone moments in the car or shower either out loud or silently in your mind. Lob those concerns, questions, ideas, fears, joy filled moments back at God. He’ll do the rest. He’ll fill in the gap in your words. He’ll address the issue in the way that’s the most appropriate and beneficial to you and the scenario around you. He’s got it. Just pray and sit back as he shows how grateful he is to hear from you. Watch as he hangs your prayer on his fridge like a parent hangs that special picture from their loving little child on theirs.

A Thousand Hallelujahs

January 31, 2023 / Derrick Hurst / 0 Comments

Some people have asked why I do what I do. Maybe they’ve asked you similar things about going to church on Sunday or doing this whole thing called worship or following Jesus? If they have, then you know there is something about it that you just can’t describe.

One of the Bible verses that I love says the rocks would cry out. The reference is that if we didn’t worship then the rocks would worship God. Have you thought of that? The rocks? I mean they’re hard, cold, inanimate. They can’t talk or move. They’re not even alive. But here the Bible says that they would cry out in worship if we didn’t do it.

Now who would be worthy of that kind of praise. Who would be able to cause a rock to cry out? This week’s song tells us that only one is worthy of that kind of action. Jesus is his name.

This is why I do what I do. This is why we get up and worship on a Sunday morning. Jesus is his name.

Just take a minute and listen to the lyrics of this song. He died and rose. He gave himself freely for us. He traded places with us not because we asked him to but because he loved us that much.

He’s worthy of our praise. He’s worthy of even the praise of the rocks and trees. He’s worthy of a thousand hallelujahs to say the very least!

Build A Boat

January 23, 2023 / Derrick Hurst / 0 Comments

This week is about faith. When everything around you seems to be going in one direction, but you see God moving. God calls you to have faith. It’s like building a boat when it’s not even raining.

Can you imagine being Noah from the Bible? Think about it for a minute. No rain. No large body of water near by. No real prediction of a storm in the meteorological forecast. But you’re supposed to build a boat. What do you do?

The passers by all laugh and point and call you names. Your friends look at you like you’re crazy. What in the world is this man doing? What do you do?

When the world is spiraling in fear and hatred seems to be all the world cares about. But you know there’s a different message. You know there’s a message of love and hope and peace. What do you do?

Today’s Music Monday song says that you build a boat! When the sun is shining and everything looks great, build the darn boat already.

I don’t know what God has laid on your heart or the things holding you back from making the first cut on that board. But I want to encourage you to build the boat. The rain will come. The promise will be fulfilled. You have what it takes. And just like Noah, you’re not building alone. You might have to look a little but you’re not alone.

So grab the tools and get your supplies, it’s time to build a boat.

Change The World

November 2, 2022 / Derrick Hurst / 0 Comments

That sounds like a huge task doesn’t it? I mean there’s no way we can possibly change the world. And if you’re thinking this way then you’re pretty much right. There’s no way that one person can change the entire course of life for everyone in their lifetime. I know that I can’t do it that’s for sure! But what if we tried this from a different angle?

I remember going with my mom to get her hair done when I was growing up. We had a friend who ran her own shop and mom would take me whenever she went. I would generally sit around and read the joke book she had. And yes she only had one. And yes I read the same jokes over and over every time I was there.

One of these jokes kind of speaks to this matter. It’s the old how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. I know it’s lame. I get it! But think about it. If you try to eat an elephant, you’ll be so overwhelmed that you’ll quickly realize this is not possible to do. But if you take your time and over a long period of time slowly tackle the big project then it is possible. Small disclaimer – no elephants were harmed in the making of this blog post. So you animal rights activists out there it was just an illustration. Now back to our regularly scheduled post.

Take that imagery of slowly tackling a project over a long period of time and apply that to changing the world. It’s actually not as impossible as one might think. I know the world is far bigger than an elephant. And I know impacting every human on the planet still is an impossible task for a single person, but we’re still looking too big. Try this idea on for size.

A long time ago I heard someone say do for one what you wish you could do for everyone. I can’t remember where I was when I heard it but I know it’s not my phrase. The concept is pretty cool. I mean think about it. If I want to make the world a better place for all of humanity, that’s an impossible task. But I can make a difference impacting one person’s life for the better!

If we would just change our focus from the whole world to the ones in front of us daily, we might realize that by changing the world for one person we might actually be making a much larger difference. If you can positively impact one person’s life, and that person is changed by the difference you made to the point that they change someone else’s life then you’ve created a small wave. Then if you and the other person do the same for yet another, this small wave can turn into a tidal wave that can have implications that could drastically change the entire world.

So maybe you can’t bring about world peace or economic stability across the globe or anything like that. But you can bring peace into one person’s life. You might be able to help one person this Christmas be able to celebrate with their family. You might be able to do something for someone that will change the entire trajectory of their life and have the potential to impact more than just that one person.

Go ahead and try it. Do for one what you wish you could do for everyone. Don’t try to change everything for everyone in the world. But what about changing the world for one person and see where that gets you.

Can You Really Have Your Best Life Now?

October 4, 2022 / Derrick Hurst / 0 Comments

Let’s get this out of the way right from the start. This is not an outright knock on a religious best selling book or its author, well not exactly. If someone told you, however, that you had the ability to have your best life in this moment, would you listen? Or like me, would you think there was some crazy catch, gimmick, or sales pitch coming your way? If you bear with me for a few minutes, I hope you are able to see that your best life really is possible and there’s no gimmicks, sales pitch, or any bait and switch attached to it.

Simply put I believe the message of Jesus in the Bible is one of having your best life right now. Don’t believe me? Read on.

The message of your best life now is often seen through the lenses of prosperity, wealth, power, and fame. All of those things that we can stock pile in our lives to elevate us above someone else are considered ways to have our best life right here and right now. But what about having our best life in some of the crappier moments in life?

The message of the Bible is one that totally throws the whole prosperity message on its head. Essentially, Jesus says that we can have our best life in the midst of the most fearful, dangerous, heart breaking, painful, lonely, hurting moments we could ever imagine.

It’s really less about circumstances and more about perspective. When Jesus came onto the scene the message of who God was, and what God wanted for his people, had become distorted at best. The idea of grace, goodness, mercy and forgiveness became things worked for and earned instead of free gifts given and received. It’s no wonder some people thought, and still think this way today, that we need to work harder for God’s blessings. It’s no surprise that we tend to think our best life only happens when things are going the way we want them to go.

So what does it take to have our best life now? I think it takes a change of heart. A different perspective. A less selfish approach to life. An others mentality. It’s really not important how you word it. The idea is simple. The way to have our best life now is to put someone else’s needs before our own. I know that it’s super counterintuitive, but that’s why it works so well.

Have you ever done something nice for someone else, like really just out of the goodness of your heart helped them? Then somewhere down the road some sort of blessing, benefit, good deed is done to you? Some call it karma or the universe repaying us. Others just call it good luck. But what if that’s the idea behind the real best life? What if the best life isn’t about amassing large amounts of things for ourselves and it’s really about serving those around you? What if our best life isn’t found in a padded checkbook but instead in the smile on a homeless man’s face when he receives a meal? What if it’s found in the gratitude of a widow when her needs are taken care of anonymously? What if our best life is found in spending time with a friend when he’s lost his wife, or she’s lost her job, or their child is ill? What if our best life is found in serving those around us with no strings attached and with no expectation of repayment?

I am a firm believer that we can and should have our best life right now. And to not have our best life now, in my mind is a misplaced understanding of who Jesus is and how he’s called us to live. The best life is a gospel filled life. The best life is a life that has its priorities straight. The best life is a life that keeps the main thing the main thing and doesn’t let personal ambition take the place of genuine love for those around us.

I think our best life isn’t just possible, it’s the only way to really have an enjoyable life.

Finger Pointing

September 22, 2022 / Derrick Hurst / 0 Comments

Do you remember that childish thing we did? You know when someone did something wrong, how we’d all make sounds of shock while pointing our finger at the wrong doer? We’d make sure the proper person in authority would know that she did it or he’s the guilty one. How annoying was that! I’m sure glad we stopped doing that. Or did we?

As annoying as that is and as almost embarrassing at it is to think about now, I’m starting to see a resurgence of this very way of handling problems. We might not point fingers and bemoan the situation with groans and other unintelligent sounds. But we do tend to throw some blame around.

There’s a tendency in our lives to publicly shame someone or belittle them when we don’t like how they’ve handled a situation. And honestly it makes us no better than those annoying turds we were growing up. It’s immature and quite frankly is counterproductive.

Have we become so focused on what others are doing wrong that we’ve forgotten what we’re called to do?

Let’s get this straight. This doesn’t mean we don’t call wrong – wrong! Actually just the opposite. It means that we call it wrong in the moment. NOT in friend groups or behind someone’s back. We don’t belittle someone who didn’t act or react how we would have liked. And for crying out loud, settling a dispute on social media just doesn’t work. So don’t even try that one.

There’s wisdom in the idea of getting our own house in order instead of tearing someone else’s house down. We’ve become a culture rich on tearing people down. Or at best just deleting them from our lives altogether. From blocking phone numbers to unfriending someone on social media, we can all but erase someone from existence with the click of a button. And it’s just like that childish game of tattle tale. Pointing our fingers at someone and trying to show the world how awful he is or how terrible of a person she is.

How about we try something new? Mind your own business. I mean seriously. How about instead of trying to undermine someone else and make their lives a living hell, we take a minute to focus on how we need a little grace shown to us? Let’s try to see what areas of life we’re not living 100% perfectly. Sure have your one on one conversations. Tell someone the honest truth, even if it hurts. Even if it means running the risk of losing something or someone special. But don’t get your panties in a bunch playing the finger pointing game.

The presence of social media and text messaging has raised a great crop of keyboard warriors who can sit with you face to face and seemingly have nothing bad to say. Then the moment they find their security behind a keyboard they can blast you to kingdom come. Or spread weird rumors about you that couldn’t be any less true.

If we were to realize who we are as individuals and what we’re called to do, then perhaps the shortcomings of others wouldn’t really be as bothersome. Maybe if we were as dedicated to our role in society as we are to someone else’s downfall in it, we could look beyond a slip of the tongue or meet a wrong doing with grace. The very same grace we ourselves expect when we mess up.

So in short perhaps we should get our own stuff together before we try dragging someone else’s name through the mud.

What’s Love Got To Do With It?

August 30, 2022 / Derrick Hurst / 0 Comments

The life of the person who claims to follow Jesus should be encompassed by love. Instead we make it about rules, attendance, offerings, and so many other secondary items that are important but not the main thing. Throughout the Bible, we’re told to love. We’re called to love God and love neighbor. So if we’re called to love so often, why do we instead focus so heavily on rules and even in some cases uniformity?

To put it short, it’s way easier. It’s far less messy to just attend, give offerings, and make everyone follow a set pattern for worship than it is to actually practice love for one another. Loving someone isn’t something that’s emotion charged rather it’s relationally bound. We have weakened love to something we can fall into and out of like it’s a boat on the water. We throw love away when it’s challenging and walk away when we just don’t want to put in the hard effort. But love is relationally bound. That means if we’re going to love someone, we’re not there just for the feels. We’re in it because of a bond we have with the other person.

This love is so much more broad than a marriage relationship, but most certainly applies there. The love talked about in the Bible is about all relationships for those who claim to be in Christ. It’s about the marriages, friendship, brotherhoods, coworkers, neighbors, workout partners, colleagues…all of them!

Throughout the book of Hebrews we’re brought face to face with men and women who lived their lives by faith in God. They believed that God was there for them and that he had their best interests at heart. They also lived knowing that the struggles and pains we face in life were there to help us grow in the discipline of following in faith. The men and women of God in Hebrews 11 remind us that even though life was hard and often nearly impossible, they relied on the work that God said he would do for, in and through them.

As the book of Hebrews closes, we see one more phase of the faith life of God’s followers. It’s what faith does to us as we live it out. We’ll call this one through faith. As we navigated through faith, we see that being in Christ means we love those around us. We’re kind to those not like us. We go out of our way to make sure people are connected not just to one another but also to the wonders of the love of God.

What’s love got to do with the life of the Christian? Well for many, unfortunately not all that much. But according to the teaching of the Bible it should be everything! Everything we do should be done out of love for God and love for our neighbor. We don’t love those around us because they’re worthy of our love but because Jesus is worthy of our loving them. It’s a really cool cycle if you think about it. God loves us when we’re unlovable, so that we can love those around us who are essentially unlovable as well.

If you’re into listen to people talk about things like this or watch a message on this very idea, check out the video below. If not, then go love someone because God is worth the love you share with them.

Going After The Princess!

August 29, 2022 / Derrick Hurst / 0 Comments

For the past couple of weeks we’ve discussed the three things every man needs in life based on the book Wild at Heart. These three things are a battle to fight, an adventure to conquer, and a beauty to pursue. Today we’re going after the damsel in distress!

Ok ladies before we get started in know that sounds a little demeaning but give me a few seconds here and hopefully it makes some sense. Hopefully it’s not as bad as it comes across at first!

Men have this built in desire and need to pursue or rescue someone. There’s something built into the DNA of a man to go after the girl and make sure she has what she needs. It’s like a rescue. Sure there are times when the fine maiden might literally need to be rescued from something terrible, but the day to day parts of life aren’t quite like that. So what then?

I think some of the older movies where the princess is trapped and needs the knight to come in with shining armor to save her have kind of ruined our idea of rescuing the princess. It paints the female as incapable and weak. But that’s not what this is about at all actually.

The idea of rescuing the beauty is less about her inability than it is about his need for pursuit and a validation of his presence in the relationship. When a couple first starts dating they pursue each other. They text in the middle of the day and include those sappy hearts and loving phrases. They get all gushy and mushy in their pursuit. The pursuit is all about showing each other that they are present for the other person. They’re demonstrating their willingness to go the extra mile for the other person…aka rescue them.

This rescue isn’t from a burning building but from aloneness, boredom, fear. It’s a pursuit of someone who doesn’t necessarily need help but needs to know they’re cared for and loved. The man has a need to be able to pursue his beauty and rescue her.

Unfortunately however this isn’t alway able to happen. Some women don’t want to be rescued or give an air that they don’t need him to rescue them. Sometimes the woman is powerful and confident and successful and he’s…well not that way at all. An insecure man with a powerful and successful woman just won’t last at all. I’ve seen it all too many times. And gents I’m going to be honest with you here. It’s not her fault she’s successful and confident. It’s not her fault that you’re feeling inadequate. And for goodness sake bailing when you feel inadequate only proves that you’re probably right!

When we pursue the beauty or rescue her, we’re showing her that she’s a really important part of our day to day lives. We’re reminding her that since the time we said “I do” we haven’t changed our minds. The pursuit of the beauty isn’t easy, so don’t for a second think this whole relationship thing is a walk in the park. If you’re looking for easy then you’re really not looking for marriage or any relationship at all!

If you can walk from it with relative ease, then you weren’t in it for the right reasons in the first place. Men you need to pursue the beauty. Not because she can’t do it. Not because she needs you to pursue or save her from someone or something. But because deep inside of you there’s a longing for someone to pursue. Someone to love. Someone for whom you can care.

Ladies let him pursue you. Don’t shut him down or close him out. Maybe even let him win from time to time. And remember the way he pursues you might not be exactly how you want to be pursued, so give him a little grace and acknowledge how he’s rescuing and pursuing you. He’ll do this with love and affection, gifts and accessories to your life, working hard to provide for you and your hobbies, time with you, time with the kids, lending a hand around the house or at least offering to help even though you won’t let him, and so many more things that often go missed in the day to day events of life. This is all about rescuing and pursuing the beauty in his life.

Ladies be willing to be rescued (pursued) because you’ll both benefit from it! Men get out there and quit being lazy. Don’t run from a woman who’s hard to pursue or doesn’t seem to need rescued. You’ll both experience an amazing reward if you just pursue the one who God gave you to pursue.

Tag: love (Page 3 of 9)

Mental health is Health

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