Tag: life (Page 1 of 3)

Maintenance Matters: Why the Inside is What Counts

February 24, 2026 / / 0 Comments

I’ve been spending a lot of time with my old 1980s truck lately. It’s the kind of vehicle that looks solid at a glance. Rust isn’t creeping in. The paint mostly holds. And it always starts when you turn the key. Ok well most of the time it starts. From the outside, it seems fine.

But getting behind the wheel told a different story. The steering felt sloppy. I was turning that wheel nearly 6 inches in each direction and the tires didn’t turn at all. Driving down the road was a challenge to say the least.

It didn’t handle right. It wasn’t unsafe, exactly, but it wasn’t operating the way it was meant to. And the more I drove it, the more I realized: years of small, overlooked maintenance issues had added up.

Tie rod ends, ball joints, leaf springs, shocks, wheel bearings… the list goes on. Little things that weren’t obvious on the outside were wearing down the whole system. It took time, effort, and patience, and a little help from the neighbor, but now it drives like a dream. Solid inside and out.

Here’s the thing: life works the same way.

It’s easy to focus on the outside. Our jobs, our image, our success. The parts other people can see. We polish them. We maintain them. We make them look good. And from the outside, things often seem fine.

But if we never check under the hood – our habits, our mindset, our inner life – the system can start to wear out without us noticing. Sloppy steering shows up as impatience. Worn bearings show up as stress and exhaustion. Tiny misalignments in the heart show up as frustration, resentment, or emptiness.

Left unchecked these lead to broken relationships, addictive behaviors, compulsive lifestyles, and destructive actions.

Real purpose, real satisfaction, real meaning come from the inside out. You can have everything looking perfect on the surface, but if the internal parts aren’t aligned, life never drives as smoothly as it was meant to.

This week, Lent gives us a chance to do a little under-the-hood work. To pause, check the invisible parts, and tighten up what’s loose.

Because when the inside works, the outside starts working too. When your heart is in the right place, the rest of life starts following its design.

And here’s the best part: when we let Jesus take control of our life direction, the maintenance we can’t do on our own starts to happen. More of Jesus. Less of me. Suddenly, the life you’re driving every day begins to run the way it was meant to.

The Barrel Matters

December 3, 2025 / / 1 Comment

You can tell a lot about a bourbon long before you ever pop the cork. Not by its label. Not by the hype. Not even by its age.

If you really want to know what a bourbon is becoming, you’ve got to look at the barrel.

Ask any distiller and they’ll tell you the same truth every time. Up to 70% of a bourbon’s flavor comes from the barrel it rests in.

The wood. The char. The warehouse. The seasons. The environment shapes the spirit.

And sitting with a glass the other night, it hit me: It’s the same with you and me.

You Become Whatever You Soak In

Bourbon doesn’t get to choose its barrel, but you and I often do.

We decide what environments we rest our souls in. We choose what voices we let season our thinking. We choose the habits that fill our time. The people we run with. The rhythms we tolerate. And the noise we allow to flood our heads.

And then we’re shocked when the final product of our life tastes a little… off.

Look. If you spend your days soaking in anxiety, outrage, endless scrolling, and the opinions of people who don’t actually know you, then your spirit will reflect that. If you surround yourself with cynics, don’t be surprised when your joy feels watered down. If your faith is marinating in hurry, distraction, and an inch-deep spirituality, don’t wonder why you feel spiritually thin.

Your barrel shapes your spirit. Every single time.

Here’s the wild thing about bourbon barrels. They don’t just hold the bourbon. They actually transform it.

Over time the liquid pulls flavors out of the wood. The bourbon slowly takes on its color, its warmth, its depth. It becomes like whatever it rests in.

Your soul works the same way.

Spend enough time around people who love Jesus, who call out the best in you, who pray for you, who challenge you, who remind you who you are and you’ll notice your own character start to deepen.

Your thinking gets clearer. Your reactions get slower. Your compassion grows. Your faith gets steadier.

Spend enough time in Scripture, prayer, worship, and simple, quiet obedience and you’ll start tasting like the fruit of the Spirit.

You don’t become like Jesus by trying harder. You become like Jesus by staying close.

Just like bourbon in the right barrel, transformation happens through proximity, not pressure.

Check Your Barrels

Maybe the most spiritual thing some of us could do this week isn’t reading another book or listening to another podcast or heck even skimming the latest blog from our pastor. Maybe it’s doing a little inventory of the barrels we’re sitting in.

So sip on these things.

  • Who’s shaping you?
  • What are you soaking in?
  • What environment is slowly, silently forming your character?

If the answer is “I’m not really sure,” then you might already have your answer.

Friends, faith doesn’t grow in a vacuum. It grows in an environment.

And here’s the good news. You get to choose yours.

Choose the barrel that brings out the best in you.
Choose the people who speak life, not drama.
Choose the rhythms that draw you closer to Christ, not further into chaos.
Choose the habits that deepen your soul rather than drain it.

Because at the end of the day, everybody matures into something. The question is simply: What are you becoming like?

So here’s your bourbon-fueled reminder for the week: Bourbon becomes what it rests in, and so do you.

Choose your barrel wisely.

Embrace Focus Mode for Inner Peace

November 4, 2025 / / 0 Comments

It was one of those mornings when the world still felt half-asleep. The sky was dark. The coffee hadn’t quite kicked in yet. And the traffic heading downtown was already thick enough to make you question your life choices.

I had my audio book just loud enough to keep me alert. Then ding . A message popped up on my CarPlay. Instinctively, my brain lit up like a Christmas tree. Pavlov’s dog had nothing on me.

“Who’s texting me this early?”
“Is it important?”
“I should probably check.”

And then the rational part of me broke through the noise. Hey dummy! You’re driving 70 miles an hour down I-71 and it’s dark outside. You’re not that important. If we’re honest we should ask is anyone really that important?

That thought hit me harder than I expected. Because it’s true, isn’t it? Somewhere deep down, we’ve convinced ourselves that every buzz, ding, and vibration demands our immediate attention. It’s as if the world can’t spin another rotation without our reply.

But what if it can?

That’s when I remembered the little Focus button on my iPhone. You know, that little half-moon icon we swipe past on our way to something “more important.” So I hit it. Silence. Peace.

Suddenly, I was just… driving. Watching the cars bounce between lanes in front of me. I wasn’t in a hurry. I wasn’t distracted. I was quiet. Breathing. Thinking. Praying.

Focus mode didn’t just block notifications. It gave me back presence.

We live in a world that glorifies busyness and constant availability. But maybe the most powerful thing we can do in our day, for our soul, our relationships, even our sanity is to silence the noise.

Jesus often withdrew to quiet places to pray. He didn’t do it because He was avoiding people. He did it to focus. He did it to tune out the crowd and tune in to His Father.

So here’s your challenge. Today, before your day dings and buzzes you into oblivion, tap that little moon icon. And turn on Focus.

Maybe just for an hour? Maybe just when you’re driving? Maybe just when you’re eating dinner with the family?

You’ll be surprised how much peace fits in the space that silence creates.

Focus because your life is worth the pause.

What If Success Isn’t the Goal?

June 5, 2025 / / 0 Comments

We’re all running.
Maybe we’re chasing the next win.
Striving for the better job, the cleaner house, the bigger impact, the more impressive version of ourselves.

It’s exhausting and somehow never enough.

The world’s voice is loud: Do more. Be more. Prove your worth. Be perfect. And it’s easy to believe that if we’re not constantly climbing, we’re somehow falling behind.

But here’s question with which we need to wrestle: What if success isn’t actually the goal?

What if being present, grounded, kind, and faithful right where you are is enough? What if you’re not behind, you’re just looking at the wrong scoreboard?

Maybe we’ve confused success with significance.
Success chases numbers.
Significance shows up for people.
Success aims to be impressive.
Significance aims to be intentional.

And intentional living doesn’t always look flashy but it does last.

So how do we shift from chasing success to choosing significance?

1. Redefine your win.

Ask yourself: What really matters to me? If your life was a garden, what would you want to grow? Joy? Peace? Connection? Focus on growing that, not everything else.

2. Notice who you’re trying to impress.

Would your calendar, habits, or stress level look different if you weren’t trying to prove anything? Be honest, and then get brave enough to choose freedom over performance.

3. Embrace small, steady impact.

Raising kind kids. Listening well. Loving your neighbor. Leading with integrity. These don’t trend online, but they change lives in quiet but long lasting ways.

4. Resist the highlight reel.

Life isn’t a competition. Your pace, your progress, and your purpose don’t need to match anyone else’s. You’re allowed to grow slower if you’re growing deeper.

5. Celebrate quiet victories.

Did you rest instead of pushing through? Apologize instead of defending yourself? Choose presence over perfection? That’s success. Start naming it.

Maybe success isn’t something you chase.
Maybe it’s something you live on purpose, in love, at your own pace.

You’re not falling behind. You’re learning to walk forward in a world that only knows how to sprint.

And that, my friend, might be the most countercultural success of all.

Until next week, keep choosing what matters.
The scoreboard doesn’t define you. Your soul does.

The Lost Art of Showing Up

May 29, 2025 / / 0 Comments

We used to just… show up.

To the game. The dinner. The awkward backyard birthday party. We brought a dish, stayed longer than we meant to, and lingered on front porches just because we could.

Now? We RSVP “maybe,” scroll past the invite, tell ourselves we’ll catch up sometime. We’re busy, tired, behind, and convinced we have nothing left to give.

But we’re losing something sacred.

There’s a quiet magic in just being there. Being physically, emotionally, and relationally present. Not with a perfect gift or polished words. Just with your presence. In a world that’s over-connected and under-committed, showing up is a radical act of love.

And maybe the people in your life don’t need a fixer, a genius, or a social media-worthy gesture. Maybe they just need you to show up.

So how do we reclaim this lost art?

1. Stop waiting for perfect conditions.

You’re never going to feel fully ready, rested, or caught up. Life rarely clears the runway. Show up anyway. Show up with your messy hair, tired eyes, and half-baked casserole. Your presence matters more than perfection.

2. Make it local, not epic.

You don’t need to fly across the country to prove you care. Text a neighbor to grab coffee. Walk across the street. Bring someone a plate of cookies just because. Community starts close to home.

3. Let it be awkward.

Not every connection feels natural at first. That’s okay. Real relationships take time, silence, and a little discomfort. Keep showing up until awkward becomes authentic.

4. Say yes to small things.

Not every moment needs to be a grand gesture. Say yes to the lunch invite. The volunteer spot. The walk around the block. Small presence plants deep roots.

5. Check in, for real.

A 30-second “Hey, just thinking about you. How’s your week?” text can change someone’s day. Don’t underestimate the power of a simple nudge that says, You matter. I see you.

We don’t have to be everywhere. But we can be somewhere. Fully. Intentionally. Present. One philosophy I’ve tried to live for years is to do for one what you wish you could do for everyone.

We’ll never be able to be all things to all people. We can’t help everyone. But what if you can make a difference for one person. Start there and see where it goes.

Because sometimes the most powerful thing you can do for your family, your community, your world is to simply show up and stay.

You don’t have to fix the world.

Just be in it, with love.

So keep finding common ground, one small act of presence at a time.

The Gambler

January 19, 2024 / / 0 Comments

We can find wisdom just about anywhere, if all we do is look with open ears and eyes. One of the places we can find some of those wisdom nuggets is in the lyrics to songs. Maybe some of the new songs have that wisdom but I’m an old guy with a limited bandwidth for music, so I don’t spend my time listening to much that is of the modern generation.

Some of the most memorable music in my life happened when I was a kid. I think this is true for most of us actually. Through most of my middle school years, I spent countless weeks every summer riding shotgun as my grandpa drove across the country. Indiana one week. New York the next. Texarkana for the periodic extra long trips.

There were a few songs that we’d play over and over again. The theme song to Smokey and the Bandit was a sure favorite as we went east bound and down, loaded up and truckin’. I still play that from time to time on long road trips!

Another was the song The Gambler by a music icon, Kenny Rogers. Now some of you are likely saying something about that being a country song and you’re not a country music kind of guy. And you’re right. I don’t listen to a lot of country music. But this one is a classic and it has some real wisdom. Take the chorus as an example.

You’ve got to know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em. Know when to walk away, know when to run. You never count your money, when you’re sittin’ at the table. There’ll be time enough for countin’, when the dealin’s done.

Yep I sang those lyrics in my head as I typed them. And if you didn’t you need to listen to the song! In all seriousness there’s wisdom in these lyrics that compare life to a poker game. You’re dealt a hand. You need to figure out how you’re going to play it, because everyone has to play the hand they’re dealt.

Some days when you’re playin’ the hand you’re dealt, it’s easy. You throw your cards and toss your chips. Money flows like water. But other days you need to hold those cards close to your chest. You don’t let people see what you have. You don’t flash your hand to anyone because you just don’t know what they’re going to do with the information you share.

Still other days, those cards you’re dealt are just no fun and frankly destructive. So in those life moments, you need to know it’s ok to fold. Stack your cards in a pile facedown. Push your chair away from that table and excuse yourself from those sitting around it.

Then there are days when you don’t really even have time to collect yourself that much. You just toss the cards on the table. Grab your chips. And run. As fast as you can you get the heck out of dodge.

The moral of the story here is be aware of the cards in your hand. Know the players at the table in your little poker game we call life. It’s ok to hold those cards close for a season. It’s ok to fold and walk away. It’s even ok to let go of those cards completely and never look back.

I’m not sure what season you’re in and whether it’s a warm summer evening or a cold winter morning, but the game goes on. So learn to play your cards. One day as you sit alone on the sideline of life, then you can take time to count the payoff. But for now – hold ’em, fold ’em, walk away or run. However you do it, you have to play the cards you’ve been dealt.

Rapture

November 15, 2023 / / 0 Comments

I lost three of my grandparents in about a year and a half. That narrow window of time for a loss is a lot to handle. And if you’ve lost anyone special to you, no matter if it’s three people nearly all at once or something significantly different, it kind of makes you wonder. Where are they? What are they up to? And will we ever see them again?

Those questions, and likely others like them, were swirling around a young church in the latter portion of the Bible. The book of 1 Thessalonians was written to a young church that didn’t have a lot of history. They knew the basics of who Jesus was and what he did. They knew the promise that he was coming back again.

But they didn’t know what that meant for their family members who died before Jesus came back. That seems to be the main issue here in the 4th chapter of this little letter. What will happen to my family who have already died?

I often wonder the same thing. I mean I kind of know, as much as a human can know the details of the afterlife. But I know they’re with Jesus and I know that one day we’ll all be with Jesus together. The challenge was that it seems Paul drew such a beautiful picture of the day when Jesus comes back to gather the living to be with him, that they started to get worried about the dead. You know the whole they’re going to miss out on this wonderful day when Jesus gathers his people to be with him.

This chapter drives us to understand this is just not the case. This is where the term rapture actually shows up in the Bible. No you won’t see it in many English translations because while it’s there it isn’t there the way we might think. It’s translated in most English versions as caught up in the clouds. That’s it. Caught up. The word that some translate as rapture and have written books about and formed whole theological traditions about is really a word that means to be caught up.

It’s a hard thing to consider especially with all the Hollywood-izing that’s happened with the term. Planes flying with no pilots. Cars with passengers zapped away. Football games with star players turned to vapor. These are the ways we try to explain it but I think this really misses the thrust of the word Caught up.

Think about the sunrise. You know that array of bright orange, red, purple and pink that somehow paint across the entire eastern sky. Add a little frost on the ground and crisp weather that makes you see your own breath and you’re caught up in something pretty spectacular. Yep you’ve been enraptured by this whole reality. It’s the same idea!

Paul here is telling the people in this little church that they will be caught up with their loved ones and with Jesus on the final day. No hocus-pocus. No slide of hand. No vapored bodies. No planes with no pilots. None of that is found here. Just being totally caught up in the presence of the risen and now returning Jesus.

Could those things happen? I mean I guess they can. God can do that if he wants but that’s not what this passage is about. It’s about you and me and even my grandparents all being fully enveloped or enraptured by the wonderful presence of the glory of Jesus when he finally returns. And that is something that should change the way we see life and death!

Trip Down Memory Lane

March 29, 2023 / / 0 Comments

I recently had the chance to take a trip down memory lane. You know one of those moments when you’re surrounded by people you knew in a former life and all the feels came flooding back. After getting home from a funeral in my home town, I started thinking about all the people that have impacted my life through the years. And be careful because the older you get, the more people are on that list.

As I looked around the room that day, I saw face after face of people I knew. Some of them I haven’t seen in more than 20 years! It was crazy to see that many people from my past all in one place. It was saddening to see that so many of them had become sheer memories until we walked into that funeral home.

The really sad part was that so often these trips down memory lane happen at life altering moments. Sometimes they’re at weddings and reunions but often we see these people and trigger these memories as we walk past the family at a funeral. And that was the case for me.

I was leading a funeral service for the mother of a friend. He and I connect periodically. But the crowd that came into the funeral that day to pay their respects were the ones I hadn’t seen in far too long. In an age of social media and all the communication devices that we have at our disposal, there’s really no reason to not stay connected.

It’s as if we’ve grown comfortable with being isolated from one another. It’s as if we’ve grown somehow ok with distant relationships and virtual connections. There’s nothing ok about virtual relationships! Call me old fashioned or whatever you want for that matter, but relationships are best celebrated in person!

I can’t tell you how to do life. I don’t have that right to be honest. But I can tell you that even if you’re an introvert you still need people. Doing life in a bubble of isolation is not good. Removing yourself from the people who mean something to you is unhealthy and will eventually leave you stranded on an island of loneliness.

Don’t wait for a funeral to reconnect with friends from your distant past. Reach out. Grab a coffee. Sit down over a glass of bourbon. Go for a walk. Have a barbecue. Host a game night. Gather as friends. This life is far too short to try to go it alone. Open up and let people in. You won’t regret it especially when you’re wading through the mess of life, broken and lonely.

Take your own trip down memory lane! It will do you some good.

Can You Really Have Your Best Life Now?

October 4, 2022 / / 0 Comments

Let’s get this out of the way right from the start. This is not an outright knock on a religious best selling book or its author, well not exactly. If someone told you, however, that you had the ability to have your best life in this moment, would you listen? Or like me, would you think there was some crazy catch, gimmick, or sales pitch coming your way? If you bear with me for a few minutes, I hope you are able to see that your best life really is possible and there’s no gimmicks, sales pitch, or any bait and switch attached to it.

Simply put I believe the message of Jesus in the Bible is one of having your best life right now. Don’t believe me? Read on.

The message of your best life now is often seen through the lenses of prosperity, wealth, power, and fame. All of those things that we can stock pile in our lives to elevate us above someone else are considered ways to have our best life right here and right now. But what about having our best life in some of the crappier moments in life?

The message of the Bible is one that totally throws the whole prosperity message on its head. Essentially, Jesus says that we can have our best life in the midst of the most fearful, dangerous, heart breaking, painful, lonely, hurting moments we could ever imagine.

It’s really less about circumstances and more about perspective. When Jesus came onto the scene the message of who God was, and what God wanted for his people, had become distorted at best. The idea of grace, goodness, mercy and forgiveness became things worked for and earned instead of free gifts given and received. It’s no wonder some people thought, and still think this way today, that we need to work harder for God’s blessings. It’s no surprise that we tend to think our best life only happens when things are going the way we want them to go.

So what does it take to have our best life now? I think it takes a change of heart. A different perspective. A less selfish approach to life. An others mentality. It’s really not important how you word it. The idea is simple. The way to have our best life now is to put someone else’s needs before our own. I know that it’s super counterintuitive, but that’s why it works so well.

Have you ever done something nice for someone else, like really just out of the goodness of your heart helped them? Then somewhere down the road some sort of blessing, benefit, good deed is done to you? Some call it karma or the universe repaying us. Others just call it good luck. But what if that’s the idea behind the real best life? What if the best life isn’t about amassing large amounts of things for ourselves and it’s really about serving those around you? What if our best life isn’t found in a padded checkbook but instead in the smile on a homeless man’s face when he receives a meal? What if it’s found in the gratitude of a widow when her needs are taken care of anonymously? What if our best life is found in spending time with a friend when he’s lost his wife, or she’s lost her job, or their child is ill? What if our best life is found in serving those around us with no strings attached and with no expectation of repayment?

I am a firm believer that we can and should have our best life right now. And to not have our best life now, in my mind is a misplaced understanding of who Jesus is and how he’s called us to live. The best life is a gospel filled life. The best life is a life that has its priorities straight. The best life is a life that keeps the main thing the main thing and doesn’t let personal ambition take the place of genuine love for those around us.

I think our best life isn’t just possible, it’s the only way to really have an enjoyable life.

Time To Slow Down

September 23, 2022 / / 1 Comment

For those of you who know me, the title to this post will seem a little odd for me. I’ve never been one to really move slowly in much of life. I drive fast, talk fast, eat fast, run fast. The issue is faster isn’t always better. Driving fast means I miss the scenery. Talking fast means some won’t get the whole story of what I’m trying to communicate. Eating fast means I set myself up for an upset stomach or I’m hungry in no time! Running fast might mean that I out run the guy behind me but it also means I don’t have the stamina to run for a very long time.

One of the books that has been pretty helpful in this idea of slowing down is one by John Make Comer titled The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry. It’s a really good book. It hits right where it needs but is gentle where it can be. The idea is very simple.

Hurry is violence to the soul.

John Mark Comer

Now I know that sounds pretty intense but the context of that passage really sets the stage for what he means. The simple way of putting this is that we were designed to be able to run at a decent pace. Admittedly some of us can run through life moving quicker than others, but all of us have a limit. Hurry is pushing the limit to its end and then exceeding the boundaries doing harm to ourselves and others. Hurry doesn’t make us more effective. And to be honest, hurry doesn’t even let us get the task done faster (as odd as that sounds).

One of my favorite ideas that comes out of the book is actually a reference to a bible verse. Comer writes An easy life isn’t an option, an easy yoke is. That’s fairly profound but only if you know what a yoke is. A yoke was a tool used to keep an ox on task. It would rest on its shoulders and the load was tied to it. Then the ox would have to pull that load so the man wouldn’t have to pull it. Admittedly it was a great idea, but the purpose of this yoke was to load the ox to the max so you had to make fewer trips. And that’s what hurry does to us.

Jesus says in the New Testament that his yoke is easy and burden light. That means he’s not really all about heaping up load after load and making us move at a frantic pace. He’s designed the load specifically for what we’re able to handle, with his help. Don’t forget that last part!

But the problem is, we try to pursue and easy life instead of the easy burden Jesus promises and that’s where the wheels fall off. Pursuing an easy life will end up bringing a heavy burden. But pursuing an easy burden won’t necessarily result in an easy life all the time.

Running as fast as we can seems like the best way to get the task done. And sometimes you might be right. However, that’s not all the time. You have to use wisdom to be able to determine when is the right time and when is not the right time to put the pedal to the floor in life. I know that I’ve done this wrongly for years. And it’s likely done significant damage to my own body, not to mention several key relationships.

It’s never too late to slow down the pace of life. It’s never too late to literally hit the pause button and sit for a minute. It’s never too late to take a gentle and calming walk in the middle the day to take in the wonder of life around you. Since I moved to a house on just over 12 acres, I’ve added a lot to my plate. But oddly enough the pace has slowed a bit. I can sit outside and enjoy uninterrupted sunrises and sunsets. I can hear all the wildlife moving and talking around me. Most every night I’m blessed by a sky filled with stars.

Maybe you like to move fast, I do too. But you’ll never know what you’ve been missing with all that speed until you slow your pace (perhaps even literally) and see what’s been there the whole time.

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