Tag: coaching (Page 2 of 2)

Unlocking Growth: The True Nature of Coaching

November 13, 2025 / / 0 Comments
A coaching conversation in progress, showing reflection and accountability in personal growth.

Coaching isn’t about advice — it’s about growth, accountability, and discovering what’s possible in your life.

When most people hear the word “coaching,” they think of someone telling them what to do.

That’s not coaching. Not really.

Coaching is about creating space. Space to reflect. Space to notice what’s holding you back. Space to explore what’s possible when you take responsibility for your own growth.

At its heart, coaching is about empowerment. It’s helping someone see clearly, think deeply, and make choices that align with who they want to be not just what someone else thinks they should be.

I’ve experienced the value of this firsthand. Coaching has helped me pause when life is moving too fast, see blind spots I didn’t notice, and stay accountable to the goals and values that matter most. I’ve also seen it transform others from people stepping into leadership, to finding focus in their faith, even taking ownership of the life God has given them.

Coaching also connects naturally with spiritual development. In both faith and personal growth, the journey is rarely about external instruction alone. It’s about reflection, discipline, accountability, and making intentional decisions in alignment with God’s will. When you take responsibility for your growth in thought, in character, and action you’re living out the spiritual principle of stewardship over your own life.

Here are a few key elements at the heart of effective coaching:

  1. Listening deeply: Understanding not just words, but motivations, fears, and hopes.
  2. Asking better questions: Encouraging reflection rather than giving answers.
  3. Holding accountability: Helping someone follow through on their own commitments.
  4. Fostering growth: Guiding toward insights that lead to intentional action.
  5. Encouraging courage: Inspiring people to step into what’s possible, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Coaching isn’t magic. It’s a disciplined, relational practice the combination of presence, clarity, and accountability that enables transformation over time.

It matters because growth rarely happens in isolation. Life, faith, and purpose all thrive when we’re willing to pause, reflect, and take ownership of the next step with someone alongside us to help us see what we might miss on our own.

Call-to-Action (CTA)

Take a moment this week to reflect: What’s one area in your life where you could benefit from reflection, accountability, or fresh perspective?

Finding Clarity Through Coaching

November 6, 2025 / / 0 Comments
Person looking through glasses with blurry image to show lack of focus.

How pausing, reflecting, and thoughtful coaching can help you see what really matters.

Life has a way of clouding our vision. The busyness, the noise, and the constant pull of other people’s expectations can blur what once felt clear.

I know this personally. A few months ago, I found myself constantly reacting – putting out fires at church, over-committing at home, and feeling frustrated that I couldn’t see the next right step.

That’s when a coaching conversation helped me pause. Just 30 minutes of focused reflection helped me name what was really driving me, and for the first time in months, I felt a little relief.

Clarity doesn’t arrive as a sudden revelation. It comes layer by layer, in quiet moments of reflection. Coaching isn’t about giving you the answers. It’s about asking the right questions to help you see what’s already there.

Here’s a simple framework I’ve found useful for finding clarity:

  1. Pause and notice: Take 10–15 minutes to step away from your daily tasks. Even a short walk or journal session works.
  2. Ask yourself honest questions: What matters most right now? What’s getting in my way? What can I let go of?
  3. Prioritize one next step: Don’t try to solve everything at once. Pick one intentional action that aligns with what’s most important.
  4. Reflect and adjust: At the end of the day or week, check in. Did your step bring clarity or progress? What needs tweaking?
  5. Seek an outside perspective: A coach, mentor, or trusted friend can help you see blind spots and encourage you when you feel stuck.

I’ve seen these steps work in my life and in the lives of people I’ve coached. Sometimes clarity comes in a quiet “aha” moment. Sometimes it’s a gradual series of small realizations. Either way, the key is intentionality.

Take a moment today to reflect: Where do you feel foggy? What’s one step you can take this week to bring a little more clarity?

Clarity isn’t about doing more — it’s about seeing more clearly. And once you see clearly, even a small step in the right direction changes everything.

Call-to-Action (CTA)

Take 10 minutes this week to pause and reflect on what matters most. What one step can you take today to bring clarity into your life? Share your thoughts in the comments or with someone you trust.

The Power of Truth Against Deception

November 3, 2025 / / 1 Comment

You’ve probably noticed it, people walking away. Walking away from faith. Walking away from commitments. Walking away from truth. It’s everywhere. Some quietly drift off, others announce it like a badge of honor. But 2 Thessalonians 2 reminds us that this isn’t new. Paul saw it coming. He called it “the rebellion” (literally apostasia) the great falling away from truth.

We picture rebellion as loud, messy, and obvious. But spiritual rebellion often happens in whispers. It’s subtle. It’s the slow fade when conviction becomes opinion, and truth becomes “my truth.” That’s the drift Paul warns about. It’s the kind that leads hearts away from Jesus and opens the door for deception to take root.

But here’s the powerful part: something or rather Someone is still holding the line. Paul says the “man of lawlessness” is being restrained. The enemy doesn’t get free rein. Truth still stands. God still reigns. The Word still works.

That’s not just theology, that’s real life. Because every time you hold fast to truth when it would be easier to compromise, you’re joining the resistance. When you open Scripture instead of scrolling for opinions, you’re reinforcing the barricade. When you choose to speak grace and truth, you’re standing with the One who restrains the chaos.

Here’s where it connects with coaching and leadership. Unfortunately we have to say it out loud but truth has to have a seat at the table. I see it every day in conversations: people are hungry for clarity, not noise. They don’t need another self-help mantra; they need something unshakable. That’s why real growth spiritual, personal, professional always begins with alignment to truth.

As a coach, I’m not here to hand out answers; I’m here to help people discover what’s already true. Because truth, when uncovered, still holds power. And when we live aligned with it, the enemy loses ground.

So, let’s make this practical:

  • Check your source. What’s shaping your worldview more the Word or the world?
  • Stand your ground. You don’t need to be loud to be firm. Quiet conviction changes rooms.
  • Stay connected. Apostasy starts with isolation. Stay in community. Truth sharpens best in relationship.

The rebellion is real but so is the restraint. And as long as God’s Word holds the line, we’re not powerless. We’re participants in His plan.

Truth wins. Always has. Always will.

3 Questions to Guide Your Week

  1. Where are you seeing “apostasy” or drifting from truth in your circles your workplace, family, or community?
    How are you responding with both grace and truth?
  2. What truth are you holding onto that could strengthen someone else right now?
    How can you lead others to discover and live in that truth?
  3. In what ways are you staying connected and accountable?
    Who is helping you stand firm so you can help others stand firm too?

Truth

May 10, 2024 / / 0 Comments

I was taught as a child that telling the truth was important. As a matter of fact, as I grew up, telling the truth became a sign of who you are as a person. Perhaps another post for another day will be on integrity and hypocrisy, but for now we’ll stick with something that should be simple – tell the truth.

To get started we probably should make sure we’re all on the same page. There is a ton of misinformation swirling around about what truth even is. So what is truth? According to the dictionary truth is defined as the property of being in accord with fact.

Did you get that? For truth to be truth, it has to be true and based on fact. Unfortunately, we live in a day and age when the common understanding of truth is that which is true to me. But that my friends is not truth. Truth is not relative to your circumstances. Truth doesn’t change just because you don’t like or you don’t agree with it. You can’t erase truth or cancel it just because it hurts your feelings!

Think of the truth of gravity. Say one day you don’t like the idea of gravity. You think it is restrictive and oppressive to have to live your life with your feet planted on the ground. Some people seem to be able to defy gravity because they can jump higher or longer than you. It’s just not fair and it makes you feel bad about yourself. So you one day decide you no longer believe gravity to be truth.

It doesn’t work that way! Just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean you can get rid of it. Erasing gravity from a text book doesn’t mean it’s not real! Getting rid of a person or place or historical period because it infringes on your personal beliefs and happiness quotient is like trying to erase gravity just because you don’t like it. Can’t do that and you know it.

Ok so what do you do when you don’t like what’s going on around you? There are really only two options. You can suck it up buttercup and deal with the harsh realities that sometimes life sucks and try to do something positive with it. Or you can mope around retelling your particular version of truth to make yourself feel better. Neither will feel great in the moment but one will make you stronger on the other side. And if you need a hint, burying the truth won’t make you stronger. It will just let you live in denial a little longer – and no I don’t mean the river in Africa!

Look sometimes the truth hurts. It hurts to tell. It hurts to hear. And often it hurts to have it applied to you. But it’s the truth, which means it’s what really is or has happened! You can’t change that any more than you can change gravity.

I’m not a fan of liars. Actually, lying is one thing I just can’t stand. If you’re on my staff and I catch you lying, you won’t be there long. My kids know that I’d rather them tell me the hard truth than me catch them in a lie. I’ve walked away from friendships with people who just can’t tell the truth.

So be a truth teller. Be honest. Even if you don’t like the message or what it means could/should happen to you – the truth is the truth and your raw emotions don’t have the right to spin a truth to make your feel better.

Intentionality

January 3, 2024 / / 1 Comment

Accidents happen. I know that. Some accidents are pretty destructive. I remember getting a call one day that someone in my family was in an accident. I rushed to make sure everyone was ok. And sure enough all humans were fine, but the car…not so much. Accidents, in many cases, result in something getting broken, damaged, or disrupted.

But there are some things in life that are happy accidents. These are the kinds of things that happen accidentally and still end up leaving you better off than had they not happened. You leave late for work and end up just missing a crash at the end of your road. You drop something on the floor in your bedroom. And when you bend over to pick it up, you find the ring that you lost weeks ago.

Accidents come in all shapes and sizes. Some are good. Some not so good. And some downright terrible. But rarely does something get built by accident. Rarely do we make massive improvements without some form of a plan. Enter today’s word: intentionality.

Intentionality, by definition, means the fact or quality of being done on purpose or with intent.

That’s well and good but let’s simplify that a bit. Intentionality is doing something on purpose, in a manner that’s well thought out. Risks are calculated. Losses evaluated. Plan established. Steps mapped out. ON purpose. NOT on accident.

As we start a new year, many people are going to write some goals for 2024. Lose weight. Run longer distances. Save more money. Pay off debt. Eat healthier. Get an advanced degree. Graduate. Whatever the goal, or resolution, you’re not going to do this accidentally. You need some form of intentional plan to make it happen.

Let’s take lose weight as an example. You can’t just wake up one morning and say Today’s the day. I’m going to lose 25 pounds. Gain muscle mass. Lessen my waist size by 2 inches. Then expect the fat to magically melt away. You need some form of a plan and you have to be intentional about it!

You need to find a gym or get some workout gear. You need to dump the Doritos out and replace them with something that grows out of the ground, like celery. (By the way, just typing that sounds gross!) You need to get some workout clothes. Maybe talk to a friend who knows exercise or get a personal trainer or at least watch a YouTube video. You need to set an alarm to get up a little earlier. You should probably block off time on your calendar so nothing gets in the way. A menu plan should be created to make meal prepping a little easier. Packing up some healthy, grab and go kind of snacks will make this more of a reality as well.

You see it takes intentionality. You have to make a plan and set it in motion. Having a friend to hold you accountable is probably a really good idea. I know for myself, there are mornings I just don’t want to get out of bed to go workout. I mean I live 30 minutes from the gym. But I have a friend I meet there and I know if I don’t show up I leave him high and dry.

It’s not just with New Year’s resolutions though that we need to be intentional. It’s the same thing with our personal and professional development. Things don’t just happen accidentally. We need to be intentional.

As a pastor, I meet a lot of people who treat their faith like a happy accident waiting to happen. It’s like they think showing up for worship on a Sunday will get just enough Jesus on them to get them out of a bind. But that’s not how it works. You need to be intentional.

Story after story in the Bible shows us that our faith grows by being intentional. People have to take time to read what God says in the Bible before they can hear what he tells them in answers to prayers.

The same is true in leadership. We can’t lead accidentally. We need to be intentional. We need to make plans and do our best to stick to them, or communicate changes as they need to be made so people can keep following.

Intentionality is a massively powerful tool that everyone needs in their toolbox. You can’t oops I did it again your way through life. And yes that reference is for all of you pop music fans from the early 2000s.

The long and short here is take time to be intentional. Slow down. Map out the plan. Set some benchmarks. Bring in someone to hold you accountable. It may cost you some extra time, effort, or money now, but in the long run it will benefit you more than you can realize.

A New Thing Is Coming

December 21, 2022 / / 0 Comments

A new year typically brings all sorts of new things. We try that new diet that we’ve read is all the rave. We venture back into the gym for a new routine of workouts. We try on those new running shoes to give the treadmill a try. There’s all sorts of things we pick up at the start of a new year in hopes of forming a healthy trend or habit. We even start reading new books or start bible reading plans or change our sleep routines.

I’m not one to make New Year’s Resolutions for many reason. The biggest reason is that all too often these New Year New You kind of goals end up being broken in just a few short weeks! Being a workout enthusiast it’s easy to see how fast people stop coming to the gym so soon after the near year starts. But this year might be a little different.

No I’m not going to set some unrealistic expectation or goal for the year. I’m not going on a diet. And for goodness sake, I’m not training for a marathon. I am however going to start something new.

As 2022 came to an end, I made the intentional decision to restructure my workload. I had to say no to a couple of things so that I could say yes to a couple more. One of my passions has always been to work with churches and pastors and leaders to help them see the world through a new set of lenses. In an effort to do that, I went through the John Maxwell leadership training program, worked on getting a coaching certificate, and built an array of resources that have helped me understand a variety of challenges that ministry leaders and non profits face.

A new thing will hit the blog and my calendar in 2023. I’ll be working on intentional resources to help congregations see their community with different lenses. I’ll be working on materials for congregations to use to help create an intentional strategy to move people to a deeper level of commitment and engagement in the life of the church.

I’m super excited to see how this move will allow me to better come alongside churches, leaders, and followers of Jesus to help them take strides in living the Kingdom life today! Stay tuned…

Moving The Sticks. What Really Matters?

November 1, 2022 / / 0 Comments

It’s super easy to measure the measurable. I mean seriously. Take a head count and you’re good to go right? Well, not so fast. There is likely a lot of information that you’re missing if you simply count butts in seats. Let me propose a better way.

Ok before we dive into this let me set the stage a little. Admittedly, this is written from the perspective of a pastor of a church. But I’ve lived in the real world as well so some of the principles here are transferrable to other trades. Actually, I believe most of this information is transferrable.

One of the easiest things to do to measure the growth of an organization is to ask for some statistical data. The simplest form of data is raw numbers about how many people show up to events, gatherings, come through the door, etc. This is what we’ll call attendance numbers. This is the primary lot of information that most church bodies like to gather for their churches. And as easy as it is to gather, the information is totally invalid. Actually, it’s often times misleading to be quite frank. Raw attendance shows one side of an equation that does not tell you about overall health. That’s where we’ll spend the rest of the time in this article – growth verses health. You can be big but weak and that’s no good!

There needs to be a metric that measures movement or progress from one area to the next. Something that drives to a deeper level of engagement or ownership in the life of the organization. Mere attendance shows a level of knowledge about the organization and that’s helpful to an extent but there’s no ownership involved at all.

A better way to measure the overall health and vibrancy of an organization is to move from singular attendance data to a cyclical view of engagement. In the church I serve, we use four key concepts that show levels of engagement ranging from observation to participation to involvement to ownership. The key is to get someone to move through this cycle to exhibit ownership of what they believe in. The same is true for other areas of life, not just church life.

Take my time in car sales as an example. Someone knows the dealership exists and they even drive through the lot on a day when the place is closed. That doesn’t do you any good. They move to participation in what you offer, meaning they end up buying the car. That’s great and it helps your bottom line, but if they never return you’re missing out. When they become involved in what the dealership offers they’ll bring their car back for service. That’s when they are actually buying into the culture of the organization and not just getting a product from you. Finally, the ultimate is when they become repeat and referrals to your dealership. That’s when they own it as their preferred place of business.

This metric of moving people through a cycle of deeper engagement in the life of the organization is critical to long term viability and sustainability of the organization. If you’d like to see how this can apply to your particular are of work, I’d be glad to assist. Specifically if you’re a church or church planter, applying this to your context is the world in which I live currently! The end goal is to move us to a place of thriving instead of merely surviving in life, business and ministry.

Now Why Would You Do That?

July 12, 2022 / / 0 Comments

I remember vividly the day I came home from school and told my parents that I wanted to be a pastor. I remember the look on their faces. I remember the curious looks in their eyes. I remember them voicing their questions about my choice. They didn’t doubt or try to change my mind by any means. They just seemed taken aback by the difference.

Think about it for a second. Most 6th grade boys don’t come home and tell their parents they want to be a pastor. Generally the job choice of a sixth grade boy is a firefighter, police officer, soldier in the military or something along those lines. But a pastor? Not very typical for sure!

I have to be clear here. My parents have been nothing short of supportive. They have walked alongside me throughout the entire journey of college and seminary (pastor school). They’ve traveled to visit me when I was doing my internship in Colorado. They were there for my first Sunday in the first church I was able to serve in Cincinnati. They’ve attended many services and even to this day drive nearly an hour to come and be a part of the church God has called me to today.

You see their question wasn’t a sign of disagreement. It was a question to make sure I was hearing correctly the call of God. I remember how they responded when I told them. Their response was the question Now why would you do that? We then embarked on a journey to talk about what a pastor did and how they lived and even a very high view of what they got paid.

I told my parents that I’m not doing it for the money. To which my dad replied Yeah but the retirement benefits are out of this world. If you don’t get the humor then you’re not a fan of dad jokes. Retirement for many pastors is when they die. Therefore retirement benefit is heaven. That was his point. So chuckle if you’d like.

Throughout my 20 years as a pastor I’ve tried to maintain one focus. I’ve tried to keep one thing in front of me all the time. I’m not perfect so I don’t do this perfectly either, however I still try daily to keep this focus.

Jesus is my reward. I know it might sound a tad cheesy and all that but a pastor’s salary isn’t always the highest paying job in the world. I remember leaving the car sales world and taking the call to serve where I am currently. My salary was cut in half. I went from a job where the harder I worked the more I made. The greater the hustle the higher the paycheck. To a salary that isn’t affected by the hours worked or the late nights away from family or the heartbreaking losses I see. But that isn’t the point.

Jesus is our reward. Not just for a pastor. Not just for me. But for all of us. When we go through life realizing that our reward isn’t here. Our paycheck, even if it isn’t enough to get all the things we desire, is not what God has in store for us. He cares about our daily needs but even more so he desires for us to know him and to realize just how much we’ve been loved by him.

One of the greatest dangers for pastors and church workers is to compare themselves and the ministry they lead to other churches who’ve seemingly become popular or successful. Doing this only takes your focus off of what is truly important, and in case you still don’t get it – that’s Jesus.

So whether you are president of your company or a custodial artist (aka janitor), Jesus is your greatest reward. Whether you’re raking in a six figure salary or you barely have two nickels to rub together, Jesus is your greatest reward. Whether you serve a congregation of thousands or you have three faithful families showing up every weekend, Jesus is your greatest reward. We need to change some of the metrics a bit to allow us to realize just how big Jesus as our reward truly is.

So why would you do that? Jesus is why we do that.

Do you know who your real friends are?

January 6, 2022 / / 0 Comments
60 Best Friendship Quotes - Cute Short Sayings About Best Friends

As I was driving to the gym this morning, I had the chance to listen to one of my frequent podcasts. This one has been a regular for me the past 2 years. The topic was all about what we’ve learned in 2021. It was kind of the wrap up podcast for the year. The podcast guest was talking about the challenges of life he’d experienced in 2021 and something really stood out at me.

He said that he’s learned who his real friends are and who his seasonal friends are. He described the difference between real friends – those who are there for you no matter what, and seasonal friends – those who are there as long as you have something they want or need then they leave you as soon as you’ve fulfilled that felt need.

Wow. I have to say that was a pretty hard knock on the chin as I listened. I think I’ve felt and probably been both of those kinds of friends. Now some key take aways for me from this podcast, and how it has applied to my life. The speaker was a pastor so understand he is speaking from a perspective that I can very much relate to. As a pastor, it’s hard at times to fully invest in every relationship that comes my way. There are times when I have to honestly tell people that I just can’t invest a ton of time into a new relationship at the moment. I know that sounds weird but we only have so much capacity and I am becoming increasingly aware of my limits. With age evidently does come some element of wisdom. You can keep your comments to yourself here thank you very much!

Friendships take time and effort to be certain and a real friend is one who understands that these efforts have to be reciprocal but not always equal. The speaker on the podcast went on to say that throughout the past couple of years in his church, he’s lost several people he thought were real friends. Some left when things got challenging. Others bailed when they didn’t like how he handled a certain situation. And some just quit communicating altogether for reasons unknown to him.

I think we’ve all seen this to some extent or another over the past several months and even years. Maybe you’re the one who’s lost friends like this? Maybe you’re one of those who’s abandoned a solid friendship for something that is more to your liking in the moment? No matter on which side of this you land, know that relationships are a two way street that take effort which ebbs and flows over time.

The distinction between friends who are there for you until they get what they need then leave and those who are there when you have nothing left to offer was intriguing to me. Have you ever experienced that? Someone seemingly receives the encouragement, support, companionship and help from you for a period of time – then they vanish like the cheshire cat in Alice in Wonderland?

I know this is a hard statement to hear and even harder to apply but don’t take it personally. If you’ve lost friends in this way, know that sometimes God has to remove some things from your life to free you up for new things. Not always better things but there will always be something new around the corner.

I think that many friendships will last beyond our apparent usefulness. There will be those people in your life who will always be there regardless of time and distance and even you ability to be helpful to them. Some of our friendships are just that solid. I know that I have several of these kinds of friends in my life and I value them highly. But we’ll also have some friendships that will be around for a season, then vanish like the fog as the sun rises. I value these friendships as well. All of those people who come into our lives are there for a reason. They are present to teach us something about life, friendship, and even ourselves.

To those I call friend thank you for being a part of my life in any variety of ways. To those who’ve come and gone, you’re likely not even reading this but thank you for the ways you’ve supported and influenced me through life. I value each of you for who God made you to be and the impact you’ve had on me.

As I grow older I realize that real friends who are there through thick and thin are much more valuable than I ever thought possible. Cherish the ones you have! Pour into those relationships because they are more precious than the finest gold.

Developing Leaders For Life

November 1, 2019 / / 0 Comments

Leadership development has been a topic of conversation in just about every area of life for some time. According to Merriam-Webster online dictionary, leadership is defined as the office or position of a leader, capacity to lead and the act or instance of leading. Unfortunately none of these definitions really give us a clear picture of what a good leader looks like or how they live or what they do. Our goal in this post is to dive into what a leader looks like and how we as leaders can develop more leaders who can make a greater impact on the world around us.

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