Tag: burnout

Your Day Off Is Not a Reward. It’s a Requirement.

March 4, 2026 / / 0 Comments

You didn’t see it coming.

That’s the thing nobody warns you about. Burnout doesn’t announce itself. It doesn’t send a calendar invite. It doesn’t tap you on the shoulder and say “hey, you’re about to lose it.”

It just quietly rewires you.

And one day you realize, almost always way too late, that the person looking back at you in the mirror is someone you don’t fully recognize anymore.

Maybe it showed up at the dinner table.

You snapped. Hard. Over something small. The kind of thing that wouldn’t have registered six months ago. Your kid spilled a drink. Your spouse asked a simple question with bad timing. And something in you detonated that had no business being that close to the surface.

You apologized. You moved on. But somewhere in the back of your mind a small voice whispered, Yikes that wasn’t okay.

Or maybe it went the other direction entirely.

You came home feeling the weight of everything you carry at work. All of the needs, the crises, the impossible expectations. And you couldn’t fix any of it. So you bought things. Gifts you couldn’t really afford. Experiences designed to compensate for your absence, physically or emotionally. You showed up with dinner and flowers and a smile and nobody knew you were drowning behind it.

Because you didn’t know you were drowning behind it.

Here’s what nobody in a high-demand profession wants to admit.

When you spend your days carrying other people’s weight – their grief, their chaos, their emergencies, their spiritual crises, their trauma – something has to give somewhere. And it almost never gives at work. At work you are professional. Composed. Capable. You are the one with the answers.

So it gives at home.

It gives in the car on the way home when you someone cuts you off and you go nuclear.

It gives at 11pm when you can’t sleep but you also can’t explain what’s wrong.

It gives when you start reaching for things – food, alcohol, screens, control, conflict, isolation…things that scratch an itch you can’t quite name.

You’re not a bad person. You’re a depleted one.

And depleted people do things that are out of character. They control what they can because they can’t control what matters most. They withdraw from the people who are safest because safety feels like a place where the mask can come off. And they’re terrified of what’s underneath it.

Nurses know this. Teachers know this. Therapists know this. First responders know this. Pastors know this.

Anyone who has ever held space for broken people while quietly falling apart themselves knows this.

The problem isn’t that you’re weak.

The problem is that you were handed a calling, a profession, a sense of purpose so compelling that you quietly agreed to trade your wellbeing for it. Nobody forced you to sign that agreement. Most of the time, nobody even told you it existed.

You just started living it out one skipped day off at a time.

One “I’ll rest after this season” at a time.

One “they need me” at a time.

Until the person who was supposed to be doing the helping quietly became someone who desperately needed the help they had been providing.

This series isn’t about working less. It’s not a manifesto for laziness disguised in spiritual language.

It’s about something far more urgent than that.

It’s about the reality that you cannot sustain what you’re sustaining. That the people who depend on you need a version of you that is actually whole. That rest is not a reward you earn after you’ve given everything. It is the very thing that makes giving everything possible in the first place.

So hear this clearly. And yes I’m saying these words to myself as well.

Your day off is not a reward. It is a requirement.

And if you don’t start treating it like one, something in your life – maybe your health, your marriage, your relationship with your kids, your sense of self – something is going to make the decision for you.

Friend, this is not a threat. This is just what happens.

The question is whether you’re going to wait until the wreckage to believe it.

Next week: You’re not God. Stop acting like it. Don’t miss it.

Burnout. It’s Real

May 30, 2024 / / 1 Comment

I’ve been working with a lot of pastors and churches lately and what I’m seeing is truly heartbreaking. So I’m going to get real for a moment. Pastors, those guys you think only work one day a week, are burning out faster than a cheap candle. Yes, the guys who stand before you every week with a smile plastered on their faces, delivering hope and wisdom, are crumbling under the weight of their roles. And it’s beyond time we talked about it.

The Grim Stats: A Wake-Up Call

The numbers don’t lie, and they’re pretty damning. According to a recent Barna Group study, a staggering 42% of pastors have seriously considered quitting full-time ministry in the past year. That’s down from just over 60% two years ago. Let that sink in—nearly half of the shepherds are thinking about abandoning their flocks! Even more alarming, a 2021 Lifeway Research report reveals that 70% of pastors feel grossly underpaid, and 55% admit to being regularly overwhelmed by their pastoral duties. When the shepherds are overworked and under-appreciated, what hope is there for the sheep!

The Causes: It’s Not Just the Devil’s Work

So, what’s driving these spiritual leaders to the brink? Let’s break it down.

First off, the workload is insane. Pastors are not just public speakers delivering sermons on Sunday mornings. They’re counselors, administrators, event planners, and often janitors and minor repairmen. The and other duties as assigned bit is legit! The average pastor works 55-70 hours a week…consistently. That’s not a job; that’s a marathon that has no finish line.

Then there’s the emotional toll. Pastors are expected to be available 24/7, providing comfort and guidance to the members of the church and community, often at the expense of their own mental health. A study by Duke University found that clergy are at a higher risk for depression and anxiety than the general population. Imagine constantly being on call, dealing with other people’s crises, and then being expected to deliver an inspiring and uplifting message every Sunday. It’s no wonder they’re burning out!

The Church Culture: Adding Fuel to the Fire

Unfortunately, the church itself is often part of the problem. Many congregations have unrealistic expectations of their pastors, expecting them to be perfect paragons of virtue who can do it all without breaking a sweat. This “superhero syndrome” is a recipe for disaster. When pastors inevitably fall short of these impossible standards, they face criticism, judgment and even abandonment by those who were once friends, further exacerbating their stress and burnout.

Moreover, the financial strain is real. With 70% of pastors feeling underpaid, it’s clear that the church isn’t exactly rolling out the red carpet. Many pastors struggle to make ends meet, juggling multiple jobs just to pay the bills. When you’re worrying about putting food on the table, it’s hard to focus on tending to your flock.

Ever see a pastor’s library? Yeah those books aren’t free. Most of the ones on my shelf are $45-$60 each. If your pastor does any work with biblical languages, then he likely has some software program to help. The middle of the road software package costs $1000. And then there are the updates that often aren’t free. What about his accessibility? Ever call or text your pastor on his cell? That often is a personal expense they carry but is plastered on the church website or left as an emergency contact on the church voicemail.

The Fallout: Not Just a Personal Problem

Pastoral burnout doesn’t just affect the pastors themselves; it has a ripple effect throughout the entire church community. When a pastor burns out and leaves, it can lead to a decline in church attendance, a decrease in community engagement, and a general sense of instability within the congregation. The spiritual and emotional well-being of the entire church suffers when its leader is struggling. And this says nothing of the toll it takes on the pastor’s family, but we don’t have time to go into that one here.

Solutions: It’s Time for a Revolution

So, what’s the solution? It’s time for the church to wake up and smell the coffee, which your pastor likely made so it was fresh when you got there in the morning. Here are a few ideas:

  1. Sabbaticals: Offer pastors regular, extended breaks. Just like in academia, a sabbatical can provide much-needed rest and renewal. After all, even God took a day off. A sabbatical isn’t merely a day off, but it’s a day off with a purpose. Perhaps we’ll tackle the idea of sabbaticals in a future post.
  2. Mental Health Support: Invest in counseling and mental health resources specifically for pastors. Normalize seeking help and provide access to professional support.
  3. Fair Compensation: Pay pastors a living wage. They’re doing one of the toughest jobs out there, and they deserve to be compensated accordingly. Most pastors have a professional degree, and in my tribe that takes 8 years of schooling. Wearing the hats of a counselor, public speaker, peace maker, event planner, website administrator and marketing guru. Functioning as a CEO, doing odd jobs like janitorial or maintenance work. Add those up and what it would cost to hire all those jobs out.
  4. Shared Leadership: Encourage a model of shared leadership where the responsibilities are spread out among a team. This can alleviate the pressure on any one individual and create a more sustainable approach to ministry.
  5. Realistic Expectations: Congregations need to chill out with the superhero expectations. Pastors are human beings, not divine beings. Let’s start treating them with the grace and understanding that they preach about.

The Bottom Line

Pastoral burnout is a serious issue that requires immediate attention. The statistics are clear: if we don’t take action, we risk losing a significant number of our spiritual leaders. It’s time to stop paying lip service to the importance of pastors and start taking real steps to support them. The health of our churches, and the well-being of our communities, depends on it.

So, the next time you see your pastor, maybe skip the critique on the sermon length and instead, offer a heartfelt thank you. It might just be the lifeline they need.

Is This Burnout?

August 18, 2023 / / 0 Comments

There is a huge epidemic floating around the world right now that has people burning out in their jobs and lives. But is burn out really burn out? Or is it something else?

I recently listened to a man who is very much in tune with the mental well being of people today. And he draws an interesting distinction between burn out and something he calls stress out. To be honest, I’ve never heard of stress out before but his explanation got me thinking a bit.

Burn out for most people is when they just feel tired and unable to push through something. It’s like everything in life has them down. But burnout is actually deeper than that. Burnout squashes a person’s soul. It makes them stoic. Emotionless. They don’t have the capacity for caring anymore. They are carrying a weight that has them buckling at the knees constantly.

Please note it’s not that a person in burnout doesn’t care. It’s that they are unable to care. They do not have the ability to care. They might want to care but they just simply can’t. Their heart has grown numb. Their mental and emotional self has been so burned by the stresses of life that they just can’t feel anymore.

Burnout is the constant feeling of failure which has broken a person’s ability to engage emotionally in the tasks in front of them. Burnout is very real and it can be very dangerous. The best way to handle a situation where burnout is likely is to have very clear expectations. Remember, burnout has to do with feeling like a failure at nearly everything. Clarifying expectations makes burnout a less likely outcome. If you’re in a scenario where there are not clear expectations, do yourself a favor and find a way to clarify what’s expected of you to keep you from burning out. Burnout leads someone to feel not like they failed at something but like they are a failure.

But there’s another side to this. Not everyone who feels pulled in too many directions, like a failure and just plain exhausted is actually in burnout. This speaker called it stress out. The idea of carrying too much stress is that you can’t keep up. You’re running too many things at the same time. Your role exceeds your character. Living with too much stress is dangerous.

Stress in and of itself is not a bad thing. Actually there is level of stress that can be healthy. Healthy stress forces us to be and do things we otherwise would never be and do. But too much stress for too long can be dangerous. As a matter of fact, too much stress carried for too long leads a person to lead a frenzied life that never slows down. The longer we carry high levels of stress the higher the levels of cortisol in our body. Extremely elevated levels of cortisol can lead to major health concerns. Everything from blood sugar problems to heart trouble to weight gain to massive agitation and mood swings are all a result of elevated levels of cortisol in the body.

Stress can be a dangerous animal when it comes to our overall health and well being. But severe stress is not the same as burnout. While burnout makes us unable to care, elevated stress for long periods of time can cause us to care too much about things we normally wouldn’t think matter. Stress out tends to trigger snap reactions in life.

A person living in a stress filled environment will be unable to manage change or handle simple questions. Changes, no matter how small, are seen as another weight added to their life. While questions are seen as complete challenges to their authority.

If you’re struggling with burnout or stress, it’s critically important to find someone to help. Find someone to talk to. Talk to a friend or colleague. See a therapist. Seek help from a counselor. These are not signs of weakness! They are the most important things you can do to protect your mental, emotional, relational and spiritual well being. (It can even protect your physical well being too!)

We all have different capacities for what we can handle, so please don’t compare yourself to someone else. Both of these are real. Both are dangerous if left unattended or unaddressed.

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