Tag: authentic

What No One Tells You About Following Jesus

January 21, 2026 / / 0 Comments

People like to joke that pastors only work one day a week.

If that were true, my lawn would be immaculate, my lifts would always be PR-worthy, and my inbox would be empty. And yet none of those things are true.

But the joke does point to something real: for a lot of people, faith gets treated like a one-day-a-week thing.

Hear me out on this one. Sunday matters. Worship matters. The Word preached and the Sacraments given are real, true, and necessary. But Sunday was never meant to be the sum total of faithful living.

Sunday gives us truth.
Between the Sundays is where that truth gets lived.

And that’s what we’re going to spend our Thursdays digging into for the next several weeks.

It’s not a sermon. Not an announcement. Just an honest pause between the Sundays to look at what following Jesus actually looks like when the week is busy, the motivation is low, and life is al too real.

So here’s week one of Between Sundays: What no one tells you about following Jesus:

You won’t feel inspired most days.

There are days when prayer feels flat.
Days when Scripture feels more like discipline than delight.
Days when obedience feels ordinary, repetitive, and even unnoticed.

And if we’re not careful, we start to think something is wrong with us. It’s easy to feel like real faith is supposed to be full of power all the time.

But faith doesn’t run on motivation. It runs on trust.

And trust is built through habits. Small. Steady. Consistent. Normal rhythms of life surrendered to someone bigger and more powerful than ourselves.

The people who grow deepest aren’t the ones constantly riding spiritual highs. They’re the ones who keep showing up when nothing feels special. They pray when it’s quiet. They obey when it costs something. They live differently when no one is watching.

Knowledge matters.
Belief matters.
But belief that never moves toward action eventually stalls.

If you’re still showing up, still praying, still listening, still trying to live what you believe even when it feels dull or difficult, you need to hear this. You’re not failing.

You’re forming.

Most of the real work of faith happens slowly, quietly, and faithfully…
between the Sundays. Keep showing up friend!

Grace Is the Antidote

August 4, 2025 / / 0 Comments

(Part 4 of 4 in the “Performing or Belonging?” series)

Here’s the truth we keep forgetting: Grace breaks the performance cycle.
Not self-help. Not good vibes. Not “trying harder.”
Grace.

You can’t earn it. You don’t deserve it. And you can’t fake your way into it.

That’s why it changes everything.

Because for all our pretending, performing, curating, and impressing we’re still empty. Approval from others can’t fill the ache inside. Belonging built on performance is not real. You know it. I know it. We’ve lived it.

We’ve dressed up our shame in Sunday clothes. We’ve spiritualized burnout. We’ve convinced ourselves that if we do just a little more, serve a little harder, believe a little stronger, maybe then we’ll be enough.

But grace doesn’t play that game.

Grace doesn’t need your résumé.
Grace doesn’t require a filter.
Grace doesn’t say, “Clean yourself up first.”

Grace walks into the mess, locks eyes with you, and says, “You’re loved. Right now. As is.”

If that doesn’t make you uncomfortable, you’re not hearing it right.

Because deep down, we think we have to earn it. We want to earn it. It would feel safer, more predictable. But grace doesn’t reward the impressive, it rescues the desperate.

Jesus didn’t die for your performance. He died for you.

Not the cleaned-up version. Not the leader you pretend to be. Not the parent you wish you were. You. The real you. The you as you are. Warts and all.

The cross is proof that God knows the real you and still chooses you. The resurrection is proof that He didn’t just forgive your past. He’s giving you a whole new way to live.

So breathe.

You don’t have to perform anymore.
You don’t have to hustle for love.
You don’t have to keep pretending that everything’s fine.

Grace means you can finally be honest.
Grace means you can finally rest.
Grace means you can finally belong.

And now? Now we build from that place.

Not out of fear but freedom.
Not to earn love but because we already have it.
Not to impress but to invite others into this same grace-drenched reality.

This is the final part of our Performing or Belonging? series.

We’ve called out the exhaustion of faking it.
We’ve faced our addiction to approval.
We’ve named our deep hunger to truly belong.
And now we end where real life begins: grace.

Not cheap grace. Not watered-down theology.
But the gritty, costly, cross-shaped grace that dismantles our illusions and sets us free.

So here’s your call:
Take off the mask.
Kill the performance.
Step into the grace that says, “You are mine.”

It’s time to stop striving.
It’s time to belong.

We’re Starving for Something Real

July 28, 2025 / / 0 Comments

(Part 3 of 4 in the “Performing or Belonging?” series)

We were made for connection.
Not Wi-Fi. Not group texts. Not “likes.”
Real connection. The kind where someone sees you, hears you, and stays.

But let’s be honest: that’s rare. And that rarity is saddening.

Most of us walk through life surrounded by people but are suffocating from loneliness. We go to parties, small groups, even worship services and still feel like nobody really knows us. We crack a joke, scroll some memes, post a photo, and call it “community.” But deep down, we know we’re starving.

Starving for real conversations.
Starving for safe places.
Starving for the kind of love that doesn’t flinch when we get honest.

Why? Because we’re wired for belonging. It’s not a wish or a pipe dream. It’s built into our soul.

God said, “It is not good for man to be alone.” And He wasn’t just talking about marriage. He was naming a core human need: to be seen and embraced in the context of relationship. Being alone was the first not good thing mentioned in the Bible.

But somewhere along the way, we stopped believing that was possible. So we settled.

We settled for surface-level friendships.
We settled for performative “community” where image matters more than honesty.
We settled for churches where connection ends at the door and vulnerability never makes it past the welcome team.

And that’s not just sad. It’s dangerous.

Because when we don’t belong, we break. Not all at once. Slowly, over time.
We isolate. We numb. We drift. We start thinking something’s wrong with us when really, the problem is we’ve been faking intimacy in systems built for applause, not authenticity.

And the church has sometimes made it worse.

We’ve taught people how to serve before teaching them how to connect.
We’ve emphasized theology without embodying hospitality.
We’ve built programs but neglected people.

But there’s good news: belonging is still possible.
Because Jesus didn’t just save souls. He built a family.
He took tax collectors and zealots, doubters and sinners, introverts and loudmouths, and said, “You’re mine. You belong.”

And if there’s one place in the world where masks should come off and stories should get told, it should be the church.

Not a church full of shiny people pretending everything’s fine.
A church full of real people with real baggage and real grace.
A church where someone says, “I’ve been through hell,” and the reply isn’t silence, it’s “You’re not alone.”

That’s the kind of community the world is longing for.
Not another event. Not another doctrinally packed sermon.
A place to belong before you believe, behave, or have it all figured out.

So here’s the question: Are we brave enough to build it?

Not perfectly. Not instantly. But intentionally.
With small steps, awkward moments, honest stories, and persistent love.

This post is Part 3 of 4 in the Performing or Belonging? series.
Next week we’ll dive into: “Grace Is the Antidote” discovering how Jesus dismantles our need to perform and gives us a better way to live, love, and build something real.

You don’t have to settle for shallow.
You were made for more.
Let’s stop pretending. Let’s build belonging.

Why Everyone’s Tired of Faking It

July 14, 2025 / / 0 Comments

(Part 1 of 4 in the “Performing or Belonging?” series)

It often goes without saying – we’re exhausted.

Not from work. Not from parenting. Not from the latest crisis-of-the-week. So many people exhausted from pretending.

Smiling when we’re breaking. Posting like we’re thriving. Walking into rooms, churches included, wondering if we’re being judged for not having it all together.

We’ve been trained to perform. Perform at school. Perform at work. Perform in our friendships. Even perform at church. And somewhere along the way, we got the twisted idea that love, acceptance, and community were things we earn by being impressive.

But here’s the truth: Performance-based belonging is killing us. Slowly, quietly, spiritually.

You feel it, don’t you?

That subtle anxiety before walking into a room, wondering if you’ll be enough. That instinct to sanitize your story before telling it. That inner voice whispering, “Don’t let them see the real you. They couldn’t handle it.”

And the wild part? We’ve made this normal! We celebrate “being polished.” We admire the curated feed. We’ve confused authenticity with oversharing and vulnerability with weakness. But deep down, we all want the same thing: to be known and still loved. No mask. No pretense.

But we’ve bought into the lie that if we’re real, we’ll be rejected. So we keep performing. Keep managing our image. Keep walking into spaces like churches, friendships, even family dinners and thinking, “Don’t screw this up. Be who they want you to be.”

Let’s call it what it is: fake community. It’s shallow, it’s exhausting, and it’s not what God designed us for.

Want to know the truth? You were never meant to perform for love. You were made to belong in it. Real belonging doesn’t ask you to audition. It doesn’t hand you a mask. Real belonging walks into your mess and says, “Yeah, I see it. I still choose you.”

That’s what Jesus does.

No pretense. No filter. He doesn’t wait for you to clean yourself up. He doesn’t bless the fake version of you. He meets the real you tired, broken, guarded and offers something this world can’t: grace.

And if grace is real, then performance can die.

It’s time to stop faking it. It’s time to stop trying to impress people we don’t trust to love us. It’s time to build something better. It’s time for real relationships, real community, where masks aren’t needed and performance isn’t currency.

That kind of community doesn’t happen by accident. It takes guts. It takes honesty. And even a little faith. But I believe it’s possible. And if I’m being honest, I believe the church should lead the way.

Not with cheesy slogans. Not with religious guilt trips. But with raw stories, open doors, and the kind of love that says, “You don’t have to pretend here.”

If you’re tired of performing – then good. That’s the first step to finding something real.

This is Part 1 of 4 in a series exploring the tension between performing and belonging. Next up: The Pressure to Perform and why we chase approval like our lives depend on it (because for many of us, it feels like they do).

Let’s stop performing. Let’s start belonging.

Leaders Ride ATVs

October 17, 2023 / / 0 Comments

It might seem weird to put the ideas of leadership and ATVs in the same line. For those of you who have no idea (not sure how but I’m sure you exist) ATVs are those cool all terrain vehicles. I have one myself actually. I love my 4-wheeler! Tons of fun to go cruising through the field. Not to mention it’s super helpful to haul things around the property! Oh and don’t forget it’s how I plow my driveway. But that’s not really the ATV to which I’m referring.

I think leaders need a different kind of ATV in their lives. In a leader’s life, ATV stands for Authentic, Transparent, and Vulnerable. These are hyper critical elements that every leader needs to be effective and grow in her or his leadership capabilities.

Authentic

We start with authenticity. Authenticity is one of those hot button kind of words. More commonly we use words like genuine and real. Have you ever met someone who was just fake? I don’t mean they were a cartoon figure but they just didn’t live out who they said they were. Authenticity is the trait of being in real life who you say you are. When a person’s actions match their confession then they are authentic, genuine, real.

There are tons of examples of people who are just not authentic. We see it in many politicians and movie stars. They are people we look up to on the big screen. Then we get a glimpse into their personal lives and realize they might not be someone we want to look up to after all.

Leaders need to be people who are real or those who follow them won’t know who they are following. An authentic leader is one who is tested against their own words. When a leader is authentic, they can be trusted. A leader who is not authentic isn’t trustworthy or follow-worthy for that matter.

Transparent

This one is a bit more complicated for some leaders. There’s a fine line between being transparent and oversharing. This doesn’t mean that every leader has to air all of their dirty laundry in public. There are some things that no one really needs to know! So keep some of those behind closed door moments, behind the closed door of silence.

Being transparent is really about letting people see the real you. Between authenticity and transparency a leader is walking with the people he/she is leading. Transparency is the ability to say what’s going on and let people see inside. There are some emotional parts of our lives that we need to let people see into. Transparency is about admitting faults and asking for forgiveness when you’ve done wrong. Which leads us to the last part of this…

Vulnerable

Vulnerability is a tricky one. Leaders don’t like to be vulnerable. I’ll be honest this is one the harder ones for me as well. Letting people in means we have to trust them not to use what they see against us. Some people will take your authenticity and transparency to highlight your vulnerabilities and blast you with it. Those people are not people with whom you need to surround yourself.

Being vulnerable is really about lowering your guard enough to not just let people see inside but to have access to your weaknesses. And yes it takes trust – immense trust! But leadership requires trust as well. A good leader needs to be able to trust the people she is leading. The leader has to demonstrate that he isn’t above everyone else. When our authenticity and transparency give way to a level of vulnerability we become even more real and more relatable to those around us.

So in short, every good leader needs to have an ATV. We need to be real and authentic. We need to open ourselves up and show the real us even when we’re in charge. And we must do the hard work of letting our guard down and letting people in so we can expose some of those soft spots in our character.

Just like my ATV lets me ride over some pretty intense terrain, when as a leader you are willing to expose your true self through authenticity, transparency and vulnerably you will go places you could never go otherwise!

It’s time to ride friends!

Stop Being So Shallow!

January 7, 2022 / / 0 Comments
Why Most Men Prefer the Shallow End of the Spiritual Pool | HuffPost Life

I have to say there are a lot of shallow people in this world. And even more so that’s really what’s being pedaled through our media. From printed news stories to tv news broadcasts to the infamous social media streams, there’s an abundance of surface level junk floating around. And in a superficial world, depth can be very attractive.

The set up

It’s no secret if you’ve been around this blog for any length of time, or if you know me at all, you will know that I’m a pastor of a semi-rural/suburban church in central Ohio. So much of my thinking revolves around my experience in that world. However the principles I’m about to share while mostly from my immediate context can be applied to a number of different fields from small businesses to politics to friendships and much more.

Cool versus Authentic

Ok so this is a pet peeve of mine. People trying to be super cool or hip or culturally relevant and totally missing the point of what’s happening around them. There was a craze in the church about a decade ago, that still is very much prevalent today, where churches tried to be mini versions of their culture. For many of them you couldn’t tell where the culture ended and the church began. This is a problem!

Churches did this because they wanted to be relevant to culture. They wanted the world to like them. They fell prey to the 3 Bs of life: boards, budgets and butts. Boards represent our power structure. Budgets represent our financial stability. And butts represents our fame or connectedness, aka church membership. When any of these are driving forces for you, then you will quickly realize that you’ve fallen for cool over authentic.

People are not walking away from God. They’re walking away from the church and fake expressions of the gospel.

It’s not just churches either. You can see it in businesses trying to become all things to all people and then quickly becoming nothing. It would be like McDonald’s trying to market as a 5 star sit-down restaurant for you to go for your 50th wedding anniversary. If they did this, they’d lose some clientele. Admittedly they might pick up some others but I hope you get the point. Focus on your purpose.

The church’s purpose is to bring the good news of Jesus to the world. When the how becomes more important than the what, we’ve missed the point. When we become more interested in laser shows and perfected Instagram stories than we are with the gospel, we have a problem!

No Pain Here

Another issue we deal with when it comes to being authentic is the illusion of perfection. The old workout adage of no pain, no gain is well known by many. But I think in the church we try to paint this sick image that we’ve got it all together and that nothing is ever wrong.

Get a group of pastors in a room and ask them how ministry is going and inevitably the conversation will turn to performance instead of authentic pain. We measure our effectiveness by how many people we have or how much money we make or what kind of building we’re in. We leave no room for real hurt and recovery and pain and stress and weakness.

If the church wants to be relevant in the world, stop pretending to be perfect. If the band is off, claim it! If the pastor blows the message, admit it. If the lights don’t put on the show you’re looking for, then who really cares! What’s the main point anyway?

When we embrace our struggles and surround ourselves with people are gifted where we are not, we stand a much better chance of reaching people that are not exactly like us. It’s ok to have a bad day. It’s ok to not be ok. Don’t paint yourself with a pretty made up face when you’re broken. Sometimes we can’t heal until we face the pain we’re going through.

Are you against everything?

Ok so this one might be a little personal for some of you, and that’s ok. Do people have any idea what you stand FOR? Or do they only know what you’re against? I have had many conversations with people who are not what we would call churched people. We’ve talked about sports, beer, marriage, community, politics, health. You name it, we’ve probably talked about it. But more times than I’d like to admit, whenever the topic of church or religion comes up I get a similar answer.

Is the church for anything? Or is it just completely against everything in this world?

I think this is a dangerous image to portray! The church should most certainly take a stand on what it believes. Without question there are some things we most assuredly need to stand against. However, if the main voice coming out of the church today in our 21st Century culture is what we’re against we’re giving the wrong message.

Over and over again Jesus told us who he was for. He didn’t agree with the lifestyles of everyone he defended or came alongside but he still showed that he was there for them. The woman caught in adultery is a fine example of this. There’s a story in the bible of a woman who was caught in the act of adultery. Cultural norms said she was to be stoned. But Jesus steps in the middle. Now understand fully that Jesus had every legal and moral right to throw that first stone. He could have annihilated her with thou shalt and thou shalt not commands. Instead, he stepped between her and her accusers and loved her.

Where is the church today when it comes to the oppressed and the marginalized? Where is the church for those who’ve been displaced from their homes or lost loved ones in tragedies? Where is the church with those who are considered like this adulterous woman?

You see the church is called by God to be encouragers and equippers who are compelled with a mission far greater than ourselves to accomplish something that is far beyond ourselves. When the church stays steadfast in its confession of who God is while regaining this beyond self mindset, we’ll become truly relevant again. Essentially, we don’t need to change our message. We need to change our attitude.

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