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Are You A Ship In Harbor?

February 11, 2022 / / 0 Comments

I was reading an article recently and there was a quote from John Shedd that really stood out to me. The quote stood out because I think in life we can all relate in some way or another to doing exactly what this quote says. The quote said A ship in harbor is safe but that’s not why ships are built.

Some times in life we find the comforts of the harbor to be so compelling that we just don’t want to leave. I mean think about it. While in the harbor there is a whole crew right there at our disposal to tend to our needs. The deck can be washed with ease. The crew remains well rested. Little wear and tear occurs to the ship. It’s actually a very safe place. Rarely will the ship sink while in harbor. Passengers don’t get seasick while the ship remains anchored at the shore. But is that why a ship exists?

The short answer is a resounding no. We all know that a ship wasn’t designed to stay in the harbor. Your goods would never get delivered if the ship never left port. Your cruise would be pretty boring if you never left the harbor. New lands would have never been discovered if the ship would have remained safely anchored on shore.

I think in life, many people tend to gravitate to the places where there is little chance of being tossed and tormented by the raging seas. We all know that life is rough and in certain seasons life is more challenging than others! But staying in the harbor all the time robs the ship of the chance to see uncharted waters and experience unknown new lands.

As a pastor, this is one of the things I see so often that it scares me. As I talk to pastors and leaders of churches, I’m seeing an increasingly growing number of churches that are like ships anchored in harbor. We’re living a life we were never made to live. We’re safe. We’re protected. But there is a world of open sea out there that we were meant to navigate that remains uncharted.

I’m reminded of something Jesus said in Luke 19. I came to seek and save the lost. When a ship remains safely in the harbor, we certainly are not doing much seeking. We like to seek those who’ve already found us. And I hate to break it to you friends but that’s not seeking! That’s being found. The old build it and they will come business just isn’t effective. It’s not what the church was created to look like! The church was created to be a ship in the open waters. At one point Jesus even told his disciples to push out into deeper water. That means away from the shore and out of the harbor. When we remain in the harbor we find only a set grouping of people. Only those people who are living in close proximity to the harbor. But not everyone lives in the harbor. Jesus knew that. And if we’re being honest, we know it too!

A ship will never experience the purpose for which it was created if it remains anchored in the harbor. We’ll never know the feeling of the rising swells of water. We’ll never feel the ocean breezes on our face. The church was established to sail the open seas. Look at the design of some of the oldest churches out there. From an aerial view many of these churches even look like boats. Jesus told us to let down our nets and he would make us fishers of men. All of the imagery in the Bible is about the church, when it functions properly, being a boat in open waters.

Take a moment and honestly look at your situation. If you’re stuck in the harbor, then find someone to help you see life from a different perspective. Find someone who can help you get out of the harbor and into the exciting waters of life that are right in front of you.

5 Natural Trends We Need To Navigate

February 10, 2022 / / 0 Comments

Life has a way of acting kind of like the ocean. Some times the tide is high and crashing in while other times the tide is so far out we can easily manage life on the shore without even getting wet. And honestly like the tides there are some predictable patterns or trends we can see coming before they actually come crashing into the shore. But unlike the patterns of high and low tides, the patterns of life can be shortened or lengthened by how we react and prepare.

There are several things about life that we all know. Life can be a struggle. It can be fun. It can feel like things are spiraling out of control. We can feel like we’re in our sweetspot when things are going well. It can be monotonous and drone on and on. And things can start to crash all in seemingly a very small span of time. So what do we do? How do we manage all this change and shifting of tides in life?

There are two basic operating principles we need to take to heart before we can navigate these trends. The first thing we need to do is acknowledge that these shifts are coming sooner or later. We can’t stop all of the change from happening around us, no matter how hard we try. The second is that we all start in a point of struggle. It’s pretty much that simple. Everything from birth to starting a business to planting a new church to starting a new job, it all starts from a point of struggle. The rest of the trends or stages will flow out of that original struggle. It’s how we react to the struggle that determines how long we’re in struggle mode.

Party Time!

Generally speaking, when we navigate out of our time of struggle, we’ll settle into a new routine and we’ll see some pretty good things happen fairly quickly. In an organization of just about any kind, this is when pretty fast growth happens. People are happy and things are generally fun in this stage.

Think of a child in the younger years when they really don’t have a much of a care in the world. Life is pretty easy for them. We feed them. Clean up after them. Rock them. They just eat, sleep and make messes that they don’t have to do anything about! It’s like party time all the time.

Storm Season

When we progress through our season of parties and fun and all the excitement of the new beginnings, we undoubtedly will have to learn to navigate through a season of storms and devastation. This season of life unfortunately doesn’t happen just once. It’s repeated off and on. This season comes when the honeymoon phase of a new thing has ended. We settle into our routines. We start to question those around us and sometimes it causes us to question ourselves. The storms can be awful. And for many of us, we quit in the middle of one of these storms, but it doesn’t have to be that way.

This phase is like those teenage years when we argue with our parents incessantly. Our parents are morons. We are awkward. Our friends are butts. Our siblings are annoying. Life is just terrible, at least in our minds anyway.

The Groove

After the season of storm we will hit the pinnacle season of life where things just seem to go well. It’s like we settle into the groove and life goes unexpectedly well. This is the phase of life that everyone wants to be in but rarely do we stay here for long periods of time. We all too often don’t recognize this phase for what it is, so we fall backward into the stormy season or slide forward into the monotonous moments to come.

This is that season of life that typically brings us through graduation and into our first job. We’re making real money and enjoying the challenges and opportunities that life provides. This season can last for a long time if it’s nurtured properly, but most of the time we overlook the blessings that this season brings.

Monotonous Moments

If we don’t challenge the status quo while in the groove, we will easily and quite quickly slip forward into a season of monotony and boredom. It’s like driving through the plains states when you’re tired. Everything looks the same and you quickly fail to see the beauty of the moments around you. The time of monotony happens when the routine becomes the rule and there’s nothing exciting in front of us.

This phase of life is kind of like what happens when we realize the dream job we fell into after graduation doesn’t have all we thought it did. It’s what happens when fail to challenge ourselves or the systems around us. Life gets boring. We fall asleep at the wheel of life. And quitting is becoming more and more appealing.

The Crash

Unfortunately, if we don’t address the challenges of monotony we’ll end up in a head on collision with this final season. It’s when we crash and burn. We can’t see any light around us. We can’t see a way out. We isolate ourselves from those who care for us. We quit the thing with which we’ve grown bored. Instead of constantly looking for new opportunities, we look for a clear and easy way out. We give up on progress, happiness and success. We simply throw in the towel. Left unchecked this season can lead to some very serious personal issues with depression.

There are probably more seasons of life than just these few but in my experience these are some key markers to look out for in life. The point in sharing this is to make us aware of what’s going on. I find that when I know what to look out for I’m less likely to fall into it. Like a pothole on the road that I will swirve to miss, these seasons are some that I can be better prepared to maneuver through and around.

A Gift From My Children

February 7, 2022 / / 0 Comments

Every year, as they were growing up, my children would give me something just from them for Christmas or my birthday. These gifts ranged from socks to ties to little things to put on my desk in my office or even a tool they wanted to learn how to use. Each of them were uniquely special gifts, but each of those gifts had something in common.

When I opened these gifts in front of them, my children smiled with anticipation as they eagerly awaited my reaction. To them it was the perfect gift. To them it was something special and reminded them of me and hopefully would remind me of them. I actually still have most of the things they’ve given me through the years.

But each of those gifts were purchased the same way. Until my children were old enough to have a job and earn their own money, those gifts were purchased with my money! I know that some of these gifts were my children’s idea, but many of them were actually something my wife told them I would like. She took them to the store. She told them that daddy would like this item. She put our bank card in the card reader. She purchased them with money that we made from our jobs.

My kids then took those gifts and gave them to me as if they bought them! The audacity. The guts. How could they possibly claim that these gifts are from them when it’s obvious they didn’t buy them or even really pick them out?

Ok so I’m not really upset about this. Just using it as an illustration. It’s kind of like C.S. Lewis in his work Mere Christianity where he describes our lives in Christ. We approach God often times giving him a gift of some sort and claiming it’s from us. I mean we do this with our time and talents and even our finances. We come into worship or volunteerism and think in our minds that somehow we’re giving him something great. We put our offering in the basket thing on a Sunday and act as if we just did God a favor.

It’s like my kids giving me a gift that was purchased with my own money! Everything we have in life is a gift from God. Our time is already His. Our possessions wouldn’t be in our possession if He didn’t give them to us in some fashion. Our abilities that we use to serve others aren’t really ours. He gave us those abilities when He knit us together in our mother’s womb.

You see I love each and every one of those gifts from my kids. Not because they bought it with their own money because they didn’t. I love those gifts because of the excitement I saw in their eyes when they gave. I love those gifts because they represent my children’s love for me. The same is true with our lives given back to God. The amount isn’t the point. The style or type of gift isn’t the point. It’s the joy in our hearts and the excitement over the giving that’s the meaningful part of giving.

So give the gifts. Do it with joy. Don’t hold back. Even if you’re giving with someone else’s money. It’s more about the heart and why you’re giving than how much you give (and this isn’t just about material things either, it’s also about your time and energy and even how you invest in relationships).

Are You Beating Yourself?

February 4, 2022 / / 0 Comments

I think there are times in life when we actually do ourselves more harm than good. I mean we have great intentions but when we really look at it we haven’t done much good at all. As a matter of fact, the good we thought we were doing was actually undone by the negative things caused by our actions. Ok that’s ambiguous so let’s dive in a little more.

The thoughts that follow are my observations from my own life and ministry. These are my failures. They are things I’ve had to work through on a variety of levels. And they are things that I still monitor closely to make sure I don’t fall back into some of these same bad habits and destructive ideas again.

You are not God.

Now that goes without saying but the issue is that we don’t live like this. Ok so admittedly we don’t necessarily go through life thinking we’re God, but we often make decisions and plans acting as if we are the most important person in the world. We pursue things that are all about personal happiness and individual success. We seek attention and put ourselves on a pedestal as if we’re the most important person in the room or universe. Believe me, I know a few of those too.

Friend it’s not about you. If you’re a leader of a team, parent, spouse or even friend to someone – you are not the point. A good friend, teammate, employer, parent or spouse will make decisions and go in directions that put the other person first. If we want to set ourselves and those around us up for the greatest success, start putting their needs before your own and watch how not only do their needs get met but yours will also!

The more you work, the less you get done.

This one sounds a bit like an oxymoron but it’s also very true. It’s kind of like that line they say on airplanes about the oxygen masks. If you’re traveling with small children, please secure the oxygen mask to yourself before placing it on your child. For the longest time I found this to be wildly insensitive and a horribly wrong practice! I mean who in the world is going to watch their child suffocate while they get the good air?! So I asked one of those friendly Southwest flight attendants why in the world this was the rule. They were patient with my stupidity and didn’t make me feel like too much of an idiot in their answer. She simply told me that if I couldn’t breathe, how could I make sure my child was breathing? Wow. Then it all started to click. Side note: I wasn’t even traveling with children which made my question that much more strange.

Back to over working. So the whole put the mask on the child thing is like taking a needed rest in order to be more productive. It doesn’t make sense until you ask a few questions. Then step back and realize that like a parent with no oxygen can’t help their child, so also a person who’s overworked and exhausted can’t focus on the job at hand and will likely not be productive nor effective. Getting the rest you need and stepping away from the task at hand for a minute is often the most powerful way to get more done.

Give yourself traveling time.

I have a tendency to stack appointments in my calendar pretty tight. I know how long it takes me to get from one place to another under normal conditions. And when I have to be somewhere I generally like to arrive on time, which for me is about 5-7 minutes early. But there are those times when we stack so many things so tightly in our calendar that we just can’t get it all done. We have no time to get from point A to point B.

This is also true with general calendaring without travel. The premise is that we tend to stack our appointments or tasks so tightly that there’s no breathing room at all. We move from task to task without giving our brains a chance to change gears. We run from one project to a totally unrelated project and wonder why our mind feels like mush at the end of the day.

There’s nothing wrong with stepping away for even as little as 3 minutes to use the bathroom, walk down the hallway, listen to music, close your eyes or just stare off into space. These are simple techniques that can clear your mind and let your brain get the space it needs to restart in a different gear.


Diversify your diet.

Now this one might be a tad misleading, so let me explain. I am not talking about your food diet, although that’s very important as well. I’m referring to the diet of information that you feed yourself. If you continually feed your brain with the same content over and over without any variation, you’re going to be mentally malnourished to say the least. It’s like eating crackers all the time with no protein or vegetables. You just won’t perform at your peak.

The same is true for what we put into our minds. I tend to read or listen to a variety of books. Some of these are books related to my field as a pastor. Others are leadership books. Others are on finance or parenting or how to understand what’s going on in my preteen daughter’s mind (ok so there’s really nothing that will help with that one but it’s worth a shot). The point is to try to look at the world around you through the many lenses at your disposal. Consuming content from a variety of sources helps you see not only your thought process more clearly, but also helps you appreciate where others are coming from and have more intelligent conversations about topics on which you disagree.

These are just a few of the many things I’ve had to learn the hard way in life. I hope they are somewhat helpful to you and provide you with a shortcut of sorts to not stay stagnant.

Self Care Is NOT Selfish

February 3, 2022 / / 0 Comments
77 Self-Care Quotes to Remind You to Take Care of Yourself

So it’s no secret the season of life we’re in currently isn’t the easiest thing we’ve dealt with as leaders. If you’re in charge of any group of people or in a management role or guiding people to a preferred future then you’re a leader. Parents are leaders. Business people are leaders. Often in every friend group there’s a leader. We are all leaders in some area of our lives. The question isn’t if we’re leaders but whom are we leading? You don’t have to like the idea of leadership but it doesn’t change the fact that you’re a leader. So how can leaders take care of themselves to be better at the task in front of them?

When leadership gets challenging there are a few things that we need to do to make sure we’re leading appropriately and most effectively. We’ll call it self care. And no matter what you think of when you hear the term self-care, it’s not about being selfish at all. Self care is all about making sure you’re best qualified and prepared to handle whatever problems arise.

Always on is quickly off.

Leadership isn’t a task we can do in an hour. It’s something that weighs on us constantly. We climb into bed and just want to fall asleep peacefully, but the nagging issues of leadership start picking off the sheep we’re trying to count. We live in a culture where technology is making us so easily accessible that we quite literally can’t ever step away. We can be called day or night. Even a trip to a sunny beach somewhere isn’t safe, because email still works there too!

Being always on and always within reach will quickly lead to burn out, fatigue and poor decision making. The weight and burdens of leadership are constantly on our shoulders. You need to find someone in whom you can confide to help you carry those burdens. Keep a journal of sorts to write down the things causing anxiety. Make lists in written or electronic form that you can come back to so you’re not obsessing over little tasks needing completed.

Get some real rest.

I know that many people don’t get the sleep they need to function properly, and I’m one of those people. I’ve made the excuse that I can run on less sleep than many and for the most part that is true. But we all need sleep and we need to listen to our bodies, stress levels, and family members who can see things in us that we can’t see in ourselves.

I’m not going to preach at you to get 8 hours of sleep since I don’t do that myself. But find regular rhythms of rest in your life. Learn the habits of stopping to just breathe throughout your day. There are days when I just sit at my desk and close my eyes to empty my mind for 3 minutes. It makes a world of difference!

But more than just getting a good night of sleep or pausing for a quick power up, we also need regular down time. Some call them days off. Others call them a sabbatical. Others call it vacation. Whatever it is you need to find a way to step away from the pressures of leading and recharge. Take a day every week and if possible at least a week every year to learn how to refocus. Real rest leads to real results. Really!

Keep your priorities straight.

When we have a lot of responsibility at work, it’s easy to let that kind of bleed into every other area of our lives. It’s all too easy to bring our work home or worse yet live like we’re married to our job. There is a pretty clear line of priority that we need to follow. And if we get this ordering out of whack it will yield some pretty nasty results.

Here’s the short version: faith first, family second, self health third, job last. If you’re living in a pattern of life that has your priorities in any other ordering then you’re setting yourself up for some signifiant harm. Getting this wrong will destroy your marriage, abandon your family, effect your health, and break the trust you’ve established in your relationships/friendships. I cannot stress this one enough. Your work does not own you so don’t live like it does.

Diet and exercise aren’t just for weight loss.

The final thing we need to look at when it comes to self care for those in any leadership role is the area of physical health. Leading is stressful whether you’re leading your kids, your family, your business, your friends, or any other place you find yourself. Leadership is stressful at times and having a healthy outlet for that stress is critical. This means we need to manage our food intake properly. And we need to manage our energy output appropriately.

Having a regular food check and exercise regimen is pretty important. Stress often leads to eating poorly and all sorts of other bodily issues like muscle tension and blood pressure issues to name just two. When we keep our eating right and we take time to do some form of exercise, even if it’s just a walk around the block or at the mall, we’ll see noticeable changes in how we handle stress. And our overall health will be positively impacted.

Getting help is not weak.

Finally we need to realize that we’re not superheroes. We cannot do it all. And leaders need help. Do you have someone you can confide in? Do you have a therapist or a counselor or someone with whom you can speak about personal matters that weigh on your heart? Just know there is nothing wrong with getting help. There’s nothing weak about admitting you can’t do something. There’s no shame in getting some form of therapy or counseling to help you balance what’s going on in your mind and heart.

So there you have it. Not an exhaustive list by any means but a few things leaders can do to manage the challenges of life and take a little time for self care, because self care is not selfish it’s actually selfless if done right.

Grace Upon Grace

February 1, 2022 / / 0 Comments
Bear One Another's Burdens - Verse Meaning Explained

I get to see all sorts of things in my line of work. Many people joke around about me only working an hour on a Sunday and the rest of the week goof off with video games or who knows what. To be totally honest, there are things that come across my desk as a pastor that I really wish I didn’t have to manage. But there are other parts of my day that make me just pause and realize how amazing some of the people who surround me truly are.

The situations that blindside us and pretty much throw us into a tailspin are the things no one wants to deal with. We run from them. We fight to get out of them. We try to make our way through them. But really we just want these unknown and unsolicited crappy days to just go away. Whether they are relationship meltdowns, financial crises, disturbing health news or family drama, we will have to come to grips with some level of all of these things throughout our lives. How we make it through some of these truly life changing moments often is determined by who we let into our circle.

One of the most blessed parts of my job is to be someone who is trusted to be part of someone’s circle. I get the honor of being the person who’s there when good times happen. I get to hear the good news of a baby born or a guy “popping the question.” I get to see the smiles and endless grins on the faces of those who are filled with the joy of living.

But I’m also honored to be invited into some of the darkest and scariest moments of people’s lives. I am called on when a loved one is ill, hospitalized or tragically dies. I’m there when a child needs medical attention. I’m invited into the circle when families are in turmoil and trust within friendships becomes broken. I get to be present when tears flow and hearts are broken and fear overwhelms.

I write these things not to pat myself on the back but to remind you that you are vastly important to me. No matter what level of connection I’ve had in your life, believe me when I say that walking with you through good or bad times is an absolute honor. It’s something I do not take lightly.

As I write this some of you are filled with joy while others are barely able to breathe under the pressures of life. No matter which end of that spectrum you may be on, know that I or someone like me is just a call away. We do have limitations and boundaries but in general we are here.

It is in these moments, entering someone’s story especially a story of crisis that I witness some of the most amazing displays of grace that one could ever imagine. It is in the moments when life is unraveling at a pace that is dizzying, that we get to witness someone’s true character. It’s not when life is easy that the real person shines forward. It’s when they are stressed beyond belief, broken seemingly beyond repair, weak beyond imagination that someone reveals who they truly are at their core.

I have recently come to realize that the strongest people in the world are not necessarily in a uniform, at the gym or wearing a cape. They are simple, ordinary people who put their feet on the floor in the morning when they’d rather stay in bed. They move forward when it would be way easier to fall backward. They stand when the world says to sit down. They remain silent when every ounce of their anger says to speak. They’re the people who demonstrate grace in ways that I didn’t know were humanly possible.

To the many people who’ve been a part of why circle and invited me to be a part of your story over the past several decades, thank you for showing me what grace looks like in so many ways. Thank you for being the evidence of grace upon grace in even the least graceful of circumstances. Thank you for the trust you’ve shown. Thank you for showing me what the love of Jesus looks like today.

My Give a Crap Meter Is About To Break

January 27, 2022 / / 0 Comments
Too Much Compassion? - Here 2 There

Alright I’ll apologize at the outset here to anyone who gets offended easily. However, if I’m being honest, knowing that you’re still here you probably means you don’t have super thin skin. I don’t think I have to tell anyone in our world today that life is hard. We can’t do the things we used to do. People tell us one thing then do something totally different. You pour into someone with your time and energy and love and support then they turn around and slap you in the face or turn their back on you when you’re in need. And this is beyond taxing!

There’s a very real thing happening in life right now called compassion fatigue. It’s what happens when you constantly care for others and have no one there to care for you. It’s what I call my give a crap meter is broken. And for complete transparency when that meter breaks I’m a bear to live with because it impacts how I care for everyone. When we invest in someone and they turn around and live like we don’t matter at all, it depletes our ability to care for even those close to us. We start to wonder if everyone feels the same way as that ungrateful person. We act more guarded and jaded and honestly we start to be less friendly to our real friends and family.

So if you’re one of those people who receive the care from someone but don’t show any gratitude, it’s time to fix that one. Don’t be a jerk! If someone is there for you and supporting you and lifting you up throughout life, then make sure you don’t turn around and kick them out when they’re having a hard time. Ok off my soap box because those are rarely helpful. Now for a couple of positive things to help protect yourself.

How do we combat compassion fatigue?

Surround yourself with people who care. I know this sounds like one of those ridiculous and superbly obvious statements. But you’d be surprised how many times we surround ourselves with people who suck the life out of us even when we’re empty emotionally and spiritually. Take an honest inventory of your friends and see who is really there for you when the crap hits the fan in life. Who are the ones that are there when you are hurting and broken? Who are the ones that check in to see if you are ok? Who are the ones that just show up? Who are the ones who don’t make it about themselves?

Set clear boundaries. This one is huge and I can’t stress it enough. You need to know when enough is enough. You need to know when someone is using you for their personal gain and not in the friendship for any mutual benefit. Boundaries don’t have to be the same for each person either. You just need to make sure to give yourself space to heal and recover from constantly being “on” for other people. You matter too!

Space to refuel is critical. So I’m not a big sit by a fire and read a book kind of guy, although a fire sounds good on this 5 degree day! Consider what you can do to fill yourself back up. Some like to get a massage. Others go for a walk. Maybe go out for a night with friends with no agenda. Workout. Go for a run. Drive around the outer belt, not during rush hour of course. Go on a vacation. Turn off your phone for an hour. Go play in the snow with your children. Dive into the bible or a good devotion book. There are a million things you can do to recharge a bit, you just have to be intentional. The point is that you can only pour into someone else what’s being poured into you.

Stay resilient. I always thought resilient meant never giving up or always pushing through. But the definition, according to the interwebs, is able to recover readily from a misfortune. Now that’s a pretty good one! We need to be resilient when working with people who are in a time of need. They’re going to say and do things that will hurt, but be resilient and bounce back. Don’t take it personally if a person who is in crisis doesn’t seem overly friendly. Give them space and take your own space then come back to make sure they’re ok. The point of resiliency is that we need to be flexible with those around us. If we’re super rigid, the second something goes wrong we will break. And no one wants to break.

This is not an exhaustive list of ways to combat compassion fatigue. These things are intended to hopefully help you see that you do matter. To someone in your circle you matter more than you know. Even if you’re beaten by the world and feel abandoned take time to look around and see who’s in this mess with you. If you’re empty, lean on those people. You won’t regret it.

Your Life Matters

January 25, 2022 / / 0 Comments

Your life matters. Yes, this is about you. The past couple of years have been pitting one person against another about whose life matters. Well the point is that life matters. The owner of life isn’t the point. The fact of life is what is vital.

I know that some will say it’s a copout to say that all life matters. But realize I did not say all lives matter. But that life matters. The life you live and the life your enemy lives – they both matter because life matters. But you don’t make your life matter because you’re a good person or a rich person or a person of a specific ethnic background. Your life matters because your life was a gift to you.

This week we focused on life issues. We talked about beginning of life issues and end of life issues. But we spent a lot of time looking at how we deal with those who don’t see matters of life the same way we see them.

It’s easy to make this whole topic of life matters something about politics or even race or age but it’s not about that at all. It’s about valuing each individual life as something special. Everyone has an opinion and everyone has seemingly their own viewpoint on this one. But the fact of the matter is all of our views are tainted with some bit of information we have coming into this. We think the concept of life matters is something about race. Or we think it’s all just a bunch of political bologna. And to a large extent that seems to be the case unfortunately.

But the truth is that life is not something we can determine. We have to let outside sources inform our understanding of life’s origin. We have to let the reality of the uniquenesses of the human condition help us better value lives of all shapes and sizes and points of origin.

Below is a message I gave on the value of life and why it’s so very important to have a proper understanding of ourselves before we can even have this conversation.

I’m Sorry But The Church Is Not The Point

January 19, 2022 / / 0 Comments

Ok so if you’re a certain type of person, you probably don’t like that statement. The point here isn’t to upset anyone nor is it a knock on the church either. The point is that I think over time we, as pastors and churches, might have lost our way a little bit. I by no means am perfect, nor do I get this right all the time but this is a pretty critical thing to get right.

Church Centered

There are many of us in churches around that have become kind of church-centric. The church becomes the reason the church exists. It’s like saying the church is the most important thing going on in the church. That’s just not the case.

I had the chance to participate in a conference recently that for all intense and purposes said the end result of all the church does is to get people into the church. Yikes! That’s the most selfish, egotistical, and downright heretical thing I’ve ever heard! The church does not exist to fill its seats or pad its bank account. Too many churches have become so consumed with doing it their way or preserving what they have that they’ve lost sight of why they exist in the first place.

A church-centric kind of church really cares more about boards, budgets and butts than anything else. A church centered on itself makes it hard for people to get involved. You can’t do anything without some sort of membership status. Now, don’t get me wrong, there are some places where a level of ownership found in membership is important but to limit all activity and service in the church to a members only status isn’t healthy.

A church-centered kind of environment gives the impression that it’s all about the church. The church and worship become the end goal of all the church exists to do. Often when a person joins a church-centered kind of atmosphere there’s really nothing left to offer. Worship is it. It’s the sum total of what the church has and what it expects from those who make up the congregation. Worship is vital, critical and necessary! But it’s not all the church is here for by any means. So if it’s not solely about worship or the church from an institutional side of things, what is it?

Kingdom Centered

It doesn’t take much to veer off the tracks from the church God established in the book of Acts to one that’s really all about self preservation. The way back is to hone one’s sight back on what’s most important and that’s Christ and his message of Grace and Truth and Mercy. It’s about becoming kingdom focused again.

A kingdom centered church is one whose focus isn’t on numerical growth but on depth of growth. Look I get it, numbers matter. We have to count what we can count. But can we take measurables and find a better way to use them? I’m part of a system that asks for year end reporting, which in and of itself isn’t a bad thing. Again you have to measure what you can measure. But the measurements we record only show part of the story. They only show basic connection not depth of engagement.

At the church I am called to serve, we measure a series of numbers as part of a discipleship pathway. There’s an expectation that comes with being a part of this church. It’s bigger than here. It’s bigger than worship or Sunday School or a website or time of day. It’s about engaging in a life that demonstrates obedience to a different way of life. To that end we measure a progression of data. When one number goes up, the other numbers should increase at a similar rate. If there is a lag in numbers, we have to ask some hard questions.

The information we look at is simple and relatively easy to track with a few general questions. How many people are in worship on a regular basis? This number represents the group of people who are simply present in the worship life of the congregation from a mostly observation based position. They’re not leading, teaching, or serving.

The second question we ask is of these people in worship how many are in some form of Bible study or growth opportunity beyond worship? This number shows us those who participate which takes more commitment than watching for an hour on a Sunday and puts one in a place to be challenged a little more personally to a different kind of life.

The third area on which we focus is the area of service. So how many people are moving from observation in worship to participation in Bible classes or groups to some form of involvement in a specific area of ministry or service in the church. These can be anything from clean up crews for events, to those mowing the lawn or cleaning up outdoors, to greeting people when the arrive on Sundays. The sky is the limit here. It’s about helping people see the value they have in the church as a whole.

Finally, we focus on invitation. How many of those present and involved are bringing others along for the journey? This shows ownership. Ownership not of the church. Not of this local expression of what church looks like either. It’s ownership of a different way of life. It’s ownership of a kingdom centered mentality.

You see, Jesus said in some of his last recorded words in the book of Matthew going make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey all that I have commanded you.

Did you see it? Right there at the end. As pastors we focus so much on the beginning of this that we tend to gloss right over the end. Make disciples yeah we talk about that a lot. Baptize them? Yep got that one covered as well for the most part. Teaching? Sure we teach a lot of information that is readily accessible in a variety of mediums. But what about teaching obedience? That’s a whole different ball game.

A kingdom centered church is one that teaches obedience. Not just head knowledge. Not just know your bible and what it says. But know what it says. Know its context. And let that shape how you do life. That’s the key. Right there. A kingdom centered church is one that seeks the transformation of its members to more intentionally live out the calling of God day by day.

So go to church! Attend worship! Yes those are very important and a key part of who we are as followers of Jesus. But go one step more. Take your worship out of the building and into your neighborhood. Remember worship isn’t the end game it’s a resource God has given us to move us closer to His image in us.

Healthy Relationships

January 18, 2022 / / 0 Comments

There’s a rhythm that needs to be established in the relationships we hold. There needs to be boundaries and some freedoms at the same time. But it seems in out culture today we’ve lost something important in our relationships. We’ve lost the depth in our relationships. We’ve become shallow.

We’re culture that wants our friends as long as they tell us what we want to hear, do what we want them to do, and go where we want them to go. And if we don’t get our way, then we run away or dismiss that person altogether. It’s a shame that we’ve fallen prey to the division that is happening in our world. And the worst part of this is that it’s happening in the church too, with people who claim to follow the ways of Jesus. Well that’s not Jesus’ way.

Relationships that can’t endure the hard moments demonstrate a lack of depth. Whether it’s a friendship or a dating relationship or neighbors or even a marriage, there needs to be a willingness to have hard conversations. Part of the issue we’re facing in our shallow lives today is that we can’t have hard conversations. We’d rather run than do something hard. But running has never been the plan God had for us. Running isolates and causes us to be alone.

We need to suck it up and do the hard things in life and have those hard conversations instead of cowering, running, or dismissing people with different views than we have.

Something that’s become extremely common in our lives especially as of late is isolation has become the normal. Whether it’s for health purposes or just our inability to deal with challenging circumstances, people are running away from everything and everyone that is important to them and isolating themselves. The Bible is clear that isolation is not a good thing! Not by any means is it good for a longterm strategy for life.

Sure we can back away to gather ourselves before we say something off color. We can take a little time out, so to speak, to gather our thoughts and heal a bit. But isolation is a longterm kind of thing. This is not God’s design. And frankly it is not healthy at all!

This week we talked about isolation, friendships, and how healthy relationships are critical to how we live out our faith. Some things to wrestle with as you consider your relationships.

Are you distancing yourself from someone in your life just because you don’t see things eye to eye? How can you move past that disagreement? What part of the disagreement is on you?

You see when we can claim a piece of the pie of our relationship breakdowns, we have a harder time blaming the other person. The point is that it takes two to have a problem. What part of the problem do you need to own up to?

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