Let’s talk about punctuation.

Yeah, that’s right punctuation.

No this is not grammar class. It’s not middle school English. I have no right to teach anyone about proper grammar – just ask my wife!

I’m talking about the way we speak to each other in real life. And if we’re honest, most of us are walking around throwing out periods like we’re dropping final judgments from the throne of Mount Know-It-All.

“She’s just lazy.”
“He never listens.”
“They’re obviously lying.”
“She meant to hurt me.”

Period. Drop mic. End of sentence. End of conversation. End of understanding.

But what if we traded some of those “.” for “?”
What if we stopped acting like we knew and started wondering again?
What if we paused long enough to ask before we assumed?

Lean in so you hear this fully: When we stop asking questions, we start making enemies out of people who might just need a little grace.

Look, I get it. You’re tired. You’ve been burned. You’ve been lied to, ghosted, manipulated, even taken for granted. So now, instead of wondering why someone did what they did, you just decide why! Then it’s all wrath. It’s time to punish them accordingly.

But here’s the problem: your story might be wrong. And now you’ve built a whole emotional prison based on a bad guess. It’s like the old adage about don’t assume.

Maybe she didn’t text back because her dad’s in the hospital.
Maybe he didn’t show up because he’s drowning in shame.
Maybe they didn’t invite you because they assumed you were busy, not because they hate you.

But you didn’t ask, did you? You just wrote the script, cast them as the villain, and hit “Publish” in your mind.

We do this all the time, even in the church.
We talk about people instead of to them.
We speak for people instead of asking from them.
We judge motives we never took time to understand.

And it needs to stop.

You want to build real trust in your marriage? Ask more questions.
You want to lead people better at work or in ministry? Ask before you assume.
You want to stop being chronically offended? Trade your periods for question marks.

“Help me understand why you said that?”
“Can you help me understand what you meant?”
“Is something going on that I don’t see?”
“What happened from your perspective?”

Those kinds of questions are not weakness.
They’re strength. Humble strength.
The kind that seeks truth more than the thrill of self-righteousness.

Here’s the raw truth. Some of us would rather be angry and wrong than humble and informed.

We cling to our pain because it makes us feel justified. But what if your story isn’t the full story? What if the “truth” you’re holding is only half of it?

That doesn’t mean everyone’s off the hook. It doesn’t mean you never confront. It doesn’t mean you pretend people didn’t hurt you. But when you do confront, do it with a question mark, not a gavel.

Accusations harden hearts. Questions open them.

And if we’re serious about being people of grace, if we actually believe in redemption, reconciliation, second chances, then we better get really comfortable with asking:
“What’s the rest of this story?”
“Is there more I don’t know?”
“Before I draw conclusions, can I hear your side?”

Start using more “?” than “.” and watch how your relationships shift.
Watch how your defensiveness drops.
Watch how healing and inner peace begins to sneak in.

And maybe, just maybe, you’ll stop losing good people to bad assumptions.

So go ahead ask the question. It might just save you from a thousand regrets.