There are two kinds of people in the world, and the title of this post revealed both sides. When you think of changes to something about which you’re passionate, you either get super excited or fight it with all your might. Which are you?
Admittedly, there are some gradients here. Some are like I’m in! Let’s change it all! Others are willing to change even though they know it will hurt. Still others who are not resistant to change will tiptoe into it knowing it needs to happen but not be super excited about it.
What I think everyone needs to understand is that change is essential and it is everywhere. Change doesn’t really care of you want to do it or not. Change doesn’t mind if you hate it or love it. Change is just change.
We change our clothes everyday, some of us more than once a day. The seasons change, unless you live in Ohio and it’s pretty much always gray and gloomy this time of year. Trees change from bare in the winter to buds in spring to leaves in summer. Grass changes from lush and green in the spring to dormant in the summer to back to dormant again in the winter months again.
Change is everywhere!
Watching changes happen from one season to another or changing your clothes are super easy. But what about when, after you get married, your new spouse changes the way the budget has always been worked? Or what happens when she makes chili in a different way than your mom used to make it? Or what about someone proposing a change in how your church does worship? (you know the whole hymnal vs band debate that seems to be never ending)
The point is some changes are easier to manage than others. While change doesn’t always have to be bad but it is always disruptive to comfort. And therein lies the problem. We love our comforts in life. We love to have our set routines. And when someone disrupts our routine, all hell breaks loose. We don’t want anyone to mess with the way it’s always been done!
Change can sometimes feel like that whole ice bucket challenge that was social media popular. Except it’s like someone doing that to you when you’re enjoying a nice steaming hot shower. It is awful! It shocks the system because it takes you out of your comfort zone.
Since this week’s word is change, consider how you handle change. Consider what types of changes are hardest for you to manage.
Accidents happen. I know that. Some accidents are pretty destructive. I remember getting a call one day that someone in my family was in an accident. I rushed to make sure everyone was ok. And sure enough all humans were fine, but the car…not so much. Accidents, in many cases, result in something getting broken, damaged, or disrupted.
But there are some things in life that are happy accidents. These are the kinds of things that happen accidentally and still end up leaving you better off than had they not happened. You leave late for work and end up just missing a crash at the end of your road. You drop something on the floor in your bedroom. And when you bend over to pick it up, you find the ring that you lost weeks ago.
Accidents come in all shapes and sizes. Some are good. Some not so good. And some downright terrible. But rarely does something get built by accident. Rarely do we make massive improvements without some form of a plan. Enter today’s word: intentionality.
Intentionality, by definition, means the fact or quality of being done on purpose or with intent.
That’s well and good but let’s simplify that a bit. Intentionality is doing something on purpose, in a manner that’s well thought out. Risks are calculated. Losses evaluated. Plan established. Steps mapped out. ON purpose. NOT on accident.
As we start a new year, many people are going to write some goals for 2024. Lose weight. Run longer distances. Save more money. Pay off debt. Eat healthier. Get an advanced degree. Graduate. Whatever the goal, or resolution, you’re not going to do this accidentally. You need some form of intentional plan to make it happen.
Let’s take lose weight as an example. You can’t just wake up one morning and say Today’s the day. I’m going to lose 25 pounds. Gain muscle mass. Lessen my waist size by 2 inches. Then expect the fat to magically melt away. You need some form of a plan and you have to be intentional about it!
You need to find a gym or get some workout gear. You need to dump the Doritos out and replace them with something that grows out of the ground, like celery. (By the way, just typing that sounds gross!) You need to get some workout clothes. Maybe talk to a friend who knows exercise or get a personal trainer or at least watch a YouTube video. You need to set an alarm to get up a little earlier. You should probably block off time on your calendar so nothing gets in the way. A menu plan should be created to make meal prepping a little easier. Packing up some healthy, grab and go kind of snacks will make this more of a reality as well.
You see it takes intentionality. You have to make a plan and set it in motion. Having a friend to hold you accountable is probably a really good idea. I know for myself, there are mornings I just don’t want to get out of bed to go workout. I mean I live 30 minutes from the gym. But I have a friend I meet there and I know if I don’t show up I leave him high and dry.
It’s not just with New Year’s resolutions though that we need to be intentional. It’s the same thing with our personal and professional development. Things don’t just happen accidentally. We need to be intentional.
As a pastor, I meet a lot of people who treat their faith like a happy accident waiting to happen. It’s like they think showing up for worship on a Sunday will get just enough Jesus on them to get them out of a bind. But that’s not how it works. You need to be intentional.
Story after story in the Bible shows us that our faith grows by being intentional. People have to take time to read what God says in the Bible before they can hear what he tells them in answers to prayers.
The same is true in leadership. We can’t lead accidentally. We need to be intentional. We need to make plans and do our best to stick to them, or communicate changes as they need to be made so people can keep following.
Intentionality is a massively powerful tool that everyone needs in their toolbox. You can’t oops I did it again your way through life. And yes that reference is for all of you pop music fans from the early 2000s.
The long and short here is take time to be intentional. Slow down. Map out the plan. Set some benchmarks. Bring in someone to hold you accountable. It may cost you some extra time, effort, or money now, but in the long run it will benefit you more than you can realize.
Before we dig into this one, I know some are not going to like some of what’s in here. And that’s ok. Not trying to please everyone. Actually I’m not the people pleasing type, but that’s probably a post for a different time.
Ok so I’ve heard people talk about having a word or theme for their year or even a theme song for their life. Most of these are either one of those relationally sappy songs about how their life is defined by love and all the things. Or they have one of those Don’t Worry Be Happy kind of songs where everything is going to be just fine no matter what life throws at you. The kind of song that has your backside in the sand drinking mimosas on the beach. That’s not my gig either for two reasons. I don’t really like the beach and not 100% sure I even care for mimosas!
Still others might be the drink your life away kind of person and have a theme song like Whiskey Glasses. Now I have nothing against a good glass of whiskey. I’ve been known to have a good pour of bourbon as many close to me know. But to have a theme song about grabbing a drink of something strong to help lessen the pain isn’t my style either.
Admittedly, I’m not normally a theme song for my life kind of guy, but if I were I think I have the song. At least the song that seems to hit right now. And this is where some of you are not going to be super excited, but hang with me.
A couple of months ago, my daughter played a song for me off her Apple Music Playlist. It’s something she heard from a friend at school. And the title of the song is likely why someone shared it with her, and why she shared it with me. The song is titled Soldier, and it’s by the artist Tom MacDonald. The idea of a song titled soldier was appealing to her since her older brother is currently deployed halfway around the world in the US Army.
I had never heard of this artist before so I listened…closely. The song was a bit driving in parts and a bit dark in others. But something about the song resonated with me. No I’ve never been a soldier. I don’t run around with two guns loaded. I don’t see myself as the one knocking down doors taking out my opponent. But the chorus of the song kind of hooked me.
I won’t give up, I won’t turn around, Tell them if I ain’t enough, Let ’em shoot me down. And my whole life I ran from the fight, ’cause my whole life I lost every time, but I won’t give up, I ain’t backin’ down.
Ok before someone goes all he needs a therapist on me, give me a minute to explain why this hits so hard. If you know me, you know that I don’t normally give up the ghost very easily. But what you don’t know is that didn’t used to be how I was. Ask anyone who knew me growing up and you’ll find out I was backward, awkward, and super shy. I wouldn’t stand up for myself, much less anyone else. I would shy away from conflict. I was the flight kid in the fight or flight example.
But one day something in me snapped. I don’t know exactly what happened or even when specifically it occurred, but I realized that I wasn’t going to lose every time anymore. And I doubled down on myself. I worked harder. I read books, listened to podcasts, watched people better than me. I asked questions. I shadowed people who had skills I wanted. I started working out. I didn’t take no for an answer.
Now – that’s really who I am. It’s the drive that moves me some days. It’s what gets me out of bed at 4am to hit the gym. It’s what led me to be able to bench press 350lbs when I only weighed 155. It’s what has me getting more done before noon than many people get done in a whole day. This is most definitely not a patting myself on the back moment either. I know that this drive has its downside. Sure I can get stuff done. I can accomplish a task. Sure I don’t give up when things get rough and can shoulder a pretty decent workload. But it comes at a cost.
That whole won’t back down, won’t turn around, won’t give up mentality has a consequence and it’s in the middle of the chorus. let ’em shoot me down. Yep some people don’t like that drive. Some people feel threatened when I bulldoze through a room to get a job done. This drive has cost me. It’s cost me sleep for sure. But it’s also cost some close friendships.
There’s no easy way to really say this, so I won’t beat around the bush. When there’s a job to get done, I have a tendency to get the job done. I don’t wait for everyone to get onboard. I have run over people (not literally mind you) in an emotional sense. I’ve walked right past people who wanted to talk to me, but I was too laser focused on the job to even realize it. I didn’t ignore them knowingly. I just flew past them on my way to get accomplish a task.
Let ’em shoot me down. It sure doesn’t sound very “nice” does it? But to be certain, when you know who you are and are fairly confident in the person you’ve been called to be, someone is going to try to shoot you down. Most of the time though, the shot comes from behind your back.
I won’t give up. I ain’t backin’ down. That’s pretty much how I roll these days. If the reason is compelling enough and the payoff is right, I’ll run through a wall. Another way to see this is in light of those personality profiles. I’ll hit that one more after the first of the year. If you haven’t already guessed, I’m a D on the Disc Inventory. I’m an 8 on the enneagram. And I bet you’ll never guess what I am on the Myer’s Briggs Inventory.
To bring this to a close, you don’t have to choose a theme song for the year. But if you did, what would yours be? And why?
If you look really closely, you’ll see thousands of scars all over. Some are nearly microscopic, while others are much larger. Each one of these scars tells a story. None of them are life threatening by themselves. But when you put them all together, their impact adds up significantly.
There’s a method of torture called death by a thousand cuts. The idea is that no single cut will do a lot of damage. The cuts each sting and some downright hurt. Each one brings with it a little bit of blood and some pain. But none of them are intended to kill you. This is the torture part. Over time the pain intensifies as the cuts mount up. One on top of the other until the loss is too much. The body gives up. Death by a thousand cuts.
Ok this is turning kind of dark, I understand that. Keep going and hopefully you get where I’m headed. These scars aren’t physical. They’re not cuts on my arms and such. They are more significant than that and way easier to hide. They’re cuts on the heart, soul, and mind. They’re emotional cuts, relational cuts, and even some spiritual cuts. Each one of these cuts is a part of who I am. And if you’re honest with yourself, they’re part of who you are as well.
I took time recently to look through these scars. Some of them are far more prominent than others. Take for instance the one that seems to be getting my attention a lot more lately. This one kind of surfaced over the past few months and I’m not really sure the trigger. Although I do have some guesses.
This scar is one that started to form about 25 years ago when my grandma died suddenly, and then honestly was opened back up again just a couple years back when my remaining grandparents died within 18 months of each other. If you know me, you’ll know that I’m not a super emotional kind of guy. I don’t wear my feelings for the world to see. Although sometimes they do sneak out, much to my dislike.
As I looked at this scar, I saw all the things that made it so prominent. The scar took me back to sneaking cookies from my grandma’s cookie jar and enjoying swimming days in their pool. It reminded me of delicious authentic German dishes cooked to perfection. I couldn’t help but see the road passing by on my weekly trips through the summer with my grandpa in his 18 wheeler.
Soon another scar came into sight. This one was a reminder of a good friend. We were so alike and so different at the same time. We don’t talk anymore. Something pretty significant divided us. It was a cut as you can imagine. I remember the times he’d call on his road trips. Or the random texts that were probably less than appropriate but we understood each other. I remember the fire pit talks and beverages shared. But the scar came when he made a choice to walk away to pursue something that was detrimental to his family. It hurt. It left a mark to say the least. It’s a scar that tells a story.
Another scar that’s still pretty fresh came in a totally different way. A very good friend who I was very close to for several years moved away. She and her family made some life changes. I’m super happy for them, but the move was hard on me. And while we still chat from time to time, there’s a scar there. There is a mark left, a tiny cut that, honestly, is still healing. It’s a cut that reminds me they’re no longer here. A tiny cut with a big story.
Every scar tells a story.
I could go on but the point here isn’t about going through each scar. The point is that every scar tells a story. The point is that every relationship and every conversation will leave a mark. We just have to know how to handle the cuts when they come.
A friend recently told me that it’s obvious that I have really thick skin. While that’s probably true now, it wasn’t always that way! I’ve been called some pretty less than stellar things in my life. I’ve been promised things by friends only to have them make choices that benefited them and completely dismissed the friendship we shared. I’ve been let down by people I looked up to. I’ve been cut more times than I can count.
There was a time when these cuts would nearly stop me in my tracks. I’d focus on the pain and the hurt. Like a little kid who scraped their knee thinking it was the end of the world, I’d look at the tiny relational cuts and freak out. I would be like Chicken Little, thinking the sky was falling. But now these cuts heal pretty quickly. That doesn’t mean they don’t hurt. It doesn’t mean they don’t have an impact or leave a lasting mark. It just means that I’ve learned some techniques to let them heal a little quicker.
I share this so that you understand while I’m not super emotional – I am still human. I share this so you understand the cuts you see in your life, no matter how deep, no matter how painful in the moment…they don’t have to be your world. They’ll scar over – eventually. They’ll close up and they’ll heal. You won’t forget the relationship or the conversations. That’s the point of the scar. It’s there to remind you. It’s there to show you that you survived.
I’m surrounded by people for whom I care deeply. Some are family and others are close friends. But honestly some are people I only know nominally. Each one has the ability to leave a mark on my life the same way you have people who can make a mark on yours.
I don’t want you to suffer a death by a thousand scars. During holiday seasons it’s a common thing to remember the people and relationships who aren’t here anymore. It’s a very normal thing to feel darkness and hurt this time of year. Take time to read your scars. Let them tell you their story. Give thanks for the relationship that existed while it did. Ask what you need to learn from that scar. Then look at the rest of the people and relationships in your life that God added to help make that cut into a scar.
Scars are not bad things because every scar tells a story.
There are two kinds of people in the world. There are the ones who carry two bags of groceries in from the car, and then there’s me. I tend to load up the arms and carry as much in as I possibly can. Less trips and all. Plus it’s kind of a challenge sometimes.
But it’s not just with groceries. I do this pretty much every time I get out of the car to go into the office or when I get home. I load up with my backpack, gym bag, Yeti, water jug, and often a coat or something additional on the cold days. This doesn’t even account for finding a way to carry my lunch. And yeah you guessed it…I carry all of it at once.
Carrying these things isn’t really a huge issue. The problem arises when I try to open the door. If we had those cool automatically opening doors, this would be a breeze! But alas, I have to dig into my pocket to get my keys. Then turn the lock and open the door. All of this while my hands are loaded and everything is perfectly balance. My wife often jokes that I need a drink carrier to hold all of the beverages I carry around since there’s normally a protein shake and some pre workout somewhere in the mix as well.
When I get to the door I have two options. I can do the weird balancing act or I could put a few things down. Generally I do the funky balancing act, look like a fool and almost drop everything on the way in the door.
I think the church has done the same thing with people and how we teach salvation. For those that don’t know, salvation is that teaching in the Bible that our wrongs are covered and we’re set up for an eternal future with God in heaven. You see we load up all the extra stuff for people to carry before they truly understand salvation.
The Bible teaches that there’s only one way to heaven. His name is Jesus. Salvation comes through no one and nothing other than Jesus. That’s a very clear message we read on just about every page of the Bible. Yet I’m seeing so many churches talking about so many other things as if they are prerequisites for understanding Jesus.
It’s like we’re piling all the extra bags onto people’s backs making it hard to carry any of it. The Bible teaches that we shouldn’t make it hard for people to believe, but that’s exactly what we’re doing. We load up worship styles, version of the Bible, doctrines and teachings of our particular denomination, how we dress, how we talk, where we go and don’t go, should we make the sign of the cross or not. Man there’s a ton of baggage that we’ve attached to the whole Jesus is the only way to heaven truth.
I’m not saying that any of those conversations are bad. As a matter of fact many of those things are good in their own right. But we can’t treat them as if they are Jesus. We need to stop loading people up with all of this extra baggage before they even know Jesus.
I’m part of a church tradition that values its heritage and its position on many topics, what we call doctrines. And I’m seeing more and more pastors in my church body making people know all of these supporting truths with minimal focus on Jesus. Sure they teach that Jesus died and rose but there’s so much more to Jesus than that one piece of his life.
If you’re a follower of Jesus, perhaps it’s time to realize who Jesus really is. He was a person with some amazing characteristics. He was a man who really walked on the earth, who dealt with some pretty nasty stuff. There’s a lot we can learn from Jesus without heaping up all the extra baggage that we have come up with over time to differentiate us from the rest of the world.
When we load people up with all of these extra doctrines and focus on our churchy jargon it’s often at the expense of Jesus. It’s at the expense of people really learning to live like Jesus. Jesus teaches that his teaching is easy and his burden is light. He doesn’t load us up with all these theological terms and churchy ideas. The Bible gives us Jesus. That’s the one thing we need for heaven. If more followers of Jesus would worry as much about following Jesus as they do about their doctrines and confessional stance on everything, we just might realize that the world doesn’t have a problem with Jesus. They have a problem with how hard we make it to follow him.
Consider thinking through what bags you make people carry on their way into church. Rethink the loads you’re putting on the men and women who really want to know Jesus. If we’re not careful, they’re going to drop everything…including Jesus.
In a culture that is bent on getting ahead and being the best and coming out on top, this is not a very popular idea. But if you hang with me for a bit hopefully you’ll come around and see things a little differently.
Success is defined as the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.
At face value success isn’t really a bad thing. Actually there’s nothing really wrong with success in and of itself. Being successful simply means that we’ve done something the way it was expected of us.
But there’s a problem when success is our aim. When all we care about is success at all costs things go off the rails quickly. And just like a train that goes off its rails, when we go off the rails people get hurt. Innocent and unexpecting people get hurt.
When we strive for success it will quickly overcome us. Success isn’t the problem. We are the problem. When we let success become the driving force behind what we do, it quickly takes over. If you’re in it for yourself then success might take you a decent distance. But it will always have a ceiling. Success can only take you as far as your achievements allow.
I’d like to encourage a little different approach than mere success. Instead of success strive to be a person of value. The difference between striving for success and striving to be a person of value is that a person of success will never surpass their talent, but a person of value builds on the success and value of the rest of the team or organization.
Being a person of value means that you’re not just in it for yourself. Being a person of value means that even when you don’t succeed you still don’t fail because you maintained value for the team or organization.
Striving to be a person of value is something lacking in so many aspects of the world today. Instead of getting ahead at all costs, perhaps we could stop and find how we can add value to the group granting us an even better chance at long term success.
As Halloween approaches and our kiddos prepare to dress up as their favorite hero or villain, princess or paw patrol character, I started to think about the way we deal with one another in community. I think there are way too many costume wearing men and women. And I’m not talking about at Halloween time.
I have some friends who love to do the whole dress up and be crazy themed out kind of people. And more power to them! That’s not my style at all but that’s not at all what I’m talking about here. I’m not referring to going to a costume party. When I say that far too many people wear costumes in life, I’m referring to the costumes we wear on a daily basis.
Now some of you are likely will disagree, but I’m pretty sure that all of us wear a costume at one point or another in our day to day life. We wear the I have it all together costume when our life is falling apart but we’re too ashamed to let people see the unraveled mess on the floor around us. We wear the I’m good costume when we feel anything but good. We tend to wear the Oh I understand costume when we really have no clue what’s going on.
I could go on and on here but I think you get the point. I’ve been wondering lately about these costumes we choose to wear and what they’re doing to our relationships. Honesty I think the more we wear costumes in life, the more distant and fake our relationships become.
Why do we think we have to wear costumes?
I think a lot of this costume wearing is about insecurity in the person we really are. Look I’m not the most confident person in the world. As a matter of fact, I used to be extremely self conscious. Now I’m a bit less this way partially because my give a darn muscle finally broke. I really believe we all need to learn to exercise our give a darn muscle a bit more. And by exercise it, I mean learn to shut it off!
We care far too much about what others think. This is why so many feel the need to wear a costume. It’s like they think putting on this costume will make them more popular or make their friends like them more.
News flash friend – if you need a costume to make your friends like you, then you don’t have friends like you thought! The people who care about you will do so whether you wear a superhero facade or let the true colors of oh crap Ifailed come shining through.
In the past 20+ years of my life, I’ve had to fight this ridiculous costume craze in my mind. I’ve wrestled with the same thoughts most people wrestle with. Am I good enough? Will people accept me if they know the real me? I’m not as strong as he is.
These sick costumes comes with voices that haunt you. They echo in your head when you’re least expecting them to sound off. They start with a whisper and then slowly increase in volume. They do this until we either answer their call or give in to their belittling.
The more comfortable we are wearing these ridiculous costumes, the less our real appearance will mean to anyone – including ourselves. The more comfortable we are adorning ourselves with fake facades of other people’s lives, the less our real self will fit right.
Please do yourself a favor. Lose the costume. Be real. Be genuine. Be you. Stop trying to be something or someone you’re not. If the people around you can’t accept you for who you are, then they’re not people you need to be near at all.
It might seem weird to put the ideas of leadership and ATVs in the same line. For those of you who have no idea (not sure how but I’m sure you exist) ATVs are those cool all terrain vehicles. I have one myself actually. I love my 4-wheeler! Tons of fun to go cruising through the field. Not to mention it’s super helpful to haul things around the property! Oh and don’t forget it’s how I plow my driveway. But that’s not really the ATV to which I’m referring.
I think leaders need a different kind of ATV in their lives. In a leader’s life, ATV stands for Authentic, Transparent, and Vulnerable. These are hyper critical elements that every leader needs to be effective and grow in her or his leadership capabilities.
Authentic
We start with authenticity. Authenticity is one of those hot button kind of words. More commonly we use words like genuine and real. Have you ever met someone who was just fake? I don’t mean they were a cartoon figure but they just didn’t live out who they said they were. Authenticity is the trait of being in real life who you say you are. When a person’s actions match their confession then they are authentic, genuine, real.
There are tons of examples of people who are just not authentic. We see it in many politicians and movie stars. They are people we look up to on the big screen. Then we get a glimpse into their personal lives and realize they might not be someone we want to look up to after all.
Leaders need to be people who are real or those who follow them won’t know who they are following. An authentic leader is one who is tested against their own words. When a leader is authentic, they can be trusted. A leader who is not authentic isn’t trustworthy or follow-worthy for that matter.
Transparent
This one is a bit more complicated for some leaders. There’s a fine line between being transparent and oversharing. This doesn’t mean that every leader has to air all of their dirty laundry in public. There are some things that no one really needs to know! So keep some of those behind closed door moments, behind the closed door of silence.
Being transparent is really about letting people see the real you. Between authenticity and transparency a leader is walking with the people he/she is leading. Transparency is the ability to say what’s going on and let people see inside. There are some emotional parts of our lives that we need to let people see into. Transparency is about admitting faults and asking for forgiveness when you’ve done wrong. Which leads us to the last part of this…
Vulnerable
Vulnerability is a tricky one. Leaders don’t like to be vulnerable. I’ll be honest this is one the harder ones for me as well. Letting people in means we have to trust them not to use what they see against us. Some people will take your authenticity and transparency to highlight your vulnerabilities and blast you with it. Those people are not people with whom you need to surround yourself.
Being vulnerable is really about lowering your guard enough to not just let people see inside but to have access to your weaknesses. And yes it takes trust – immense trust! But leadership requires trust as well. A good leader needs to be able to trust the people she is leading. The leader has to demonstrate that he isn’t above everyone else. When our authenticity and transparency give way to a level of vulnerability we become even more real and more relatable to those around us.
So in short, every good leader needs to have an ATV. We need to be real and authentic. We need to open ourselves up and show the real us even when we’re in charge. And we must do the hard work of letting our guard down and letting people in so we can expose some of those soft spots in our character.
Just like my ATV lets me ride over some pretty intense terrain, when as a leader you are willing to expose your true self through authenticity, transparency and vulnerably you will go places you could never go otherwise!
Unless you’re living under a rock, you’ve heard that there is yet another conflict in the Middle East. However, this one isn’t your normal everyone is angry with everyone kind of conflict. This one has elevated to a horrific state of war. And I’ll be the first to admit that no one benefits from war. I’m not saying that as a knock on military or country by any means. As a matter of fact I’m a huge advocate and supporter of our military! It’s just the sad reality that war brings death and destruction. These aren’t part of God’s design for us but sometimes are necessary to fulfill an overall end goal.
Now why does this war matter? What is it about? What is it not?
There are a ton of war mongers out there who are spewing all sorts of things about this being the end the world. Or this has to happen for Jesus to come back. Or it was all staged. Or any number of things. But I’m not sure we really get the gravity of this whole situation until we step back a bit.
Now I’m not going to get all political with you. This isn’t about who’s right or who’s wrong. Although I do have my own very strong personal opinions about that. My purpose here is why do they fight, and why does it matter.
Ok so who are these two groups: Israel and Hamas. Strictly speaking Hamas is a Palestinian group that has taken their beliefs to an extreme position. Every country, every political party even has some who are extreme in their beliefs and often in their actions. Some call them extremists others radicals but we can see from the manner in which they operate that they function much like what we have come to know as a terror cell. Striking in civilian rich places with no warning and an intent to cripple, harm, and kill anyone and everyone who is not like them. Add to it the women and children that have been tortured and things get really disgusting really quickly. It’s terror on many levels.
Now not all Palestinians are part of Hamas. Like I said it’s an extreme group of them. However there is a pretty decent amount of sympathy toward even the most extreme parts by the rest of the group. It’s what’s meant by the statement the enemy of my enemy is my friend. While they don’t agree with the actions of the extreme group, they dislike the other side even more. But who are the other side?
Have you ever heard the biblical story of Jacob and Esau and the bowl of stew and the birthright and the promise and the legacy? It’s a story in the Old Testament book of Genesis. Esau was the older twin who was hungry. Jacob, the younger brother, was a great cook. Short version of the story is that Jacob made some delicious lunch and Esau was so hungry he was willing to trade his birthright for that bowl of soup. Yikes! That must have been some hunger! Later Jacob would deceive their father and outright steal a blessing that was intended for Esau. So there’s been some hatred and animosity between them pretty much since their birth.
Jacob would later be come to known as Israel. And from Esau would be a lineage that would forever be angry with his brother. Remember the soup? This group is what we have in large part as the Palestinian people. Please know I’m painting with large brush strokes here because there is more to the history but I’m giving a simple overview here.
All this to say, the fighting isn’t new. Actually it’s been going on for thousands of years. Some years it’s full blown atrocity like we’re seeing now. Other days it’s angry yelling across a border wall. But even in times of peace it isn’t the whole shake hands and be best friends kind of peace we want. It’s mind your own business and I’ll mind mine kind of peace. We’ll disagree and the only agreement is that we hate each other kind of peace.
Now that we have a quick biblical framework for who these people are and some idea of why they’re fighting, why does this matter today? Well some are taking this conflict and saying that since this is a biblical fight then it must be explained later in the bible as a sign of the end of the world. Caution – let’s not get ahead of ourselves!
Remember how I said this was a conflict lasting thousands of years? Yeah then why would today be the golden moment that indicates it’s all over? The Gaza region has been a point of contention for them for as long as they both had land. This is not new! There’s talk about a third temple being built but that isn’t happening this weekend. Actually, it’s been talked about since shortly after the last temple fell, which was over 1900 years ago! They’ve planned, prayed for, and talked about this happening for nearly every one of those 1900 years. And here we are with no foundation poured. The land hasn’t been graded down. The lumber hasn’t been gathered. The supplies have not been calculated and purchased.
So I’d like to caution us to go a little slower with the whole end of the world motif. There are numerous people who’ve calculated the end of the world based on earthly happenings. Y2K anyone? And how has that worked out for us…Since we’re still here it hasn’t happened. The Bible tells us that no one knows the day or hour of the end. But we should be ready all the time.
Look what’s happening over there and in various places around the world is not good. Killing innocent people is not good. War in and of itself is not what God intended for us. I don’t want to say it’s a necessary evil of the world but we do know that the sword has been given to keep peace and order. That means, as ugly as war is there are times when the muscle of power has to be flexed to keep evil at bay.
So the long and short is this is a territorial war over land that is built on hardships and disagreements for centuries! There’s a lot of hatred that can mount up in that length of time. What are we to do about it? Pray! Really it’s the one thing we need right now. For those of us who have family moving into that region to try to restore peace and to help innocent people get to safety, pray! For the men and women defending the innocent and rooting out evils, pray! For your loved ones near and far, pray! For you family and friends, pray! For you enemies and people you’ve never met, pray!
When evil rears its ugly head, all it desires is to turn us against one another. You can’t be against people if you’re praying for them. So get to it people! Pray for peace not just in Israel and Gaza but around the world and even in your own heart.
Imagine that you have a job that really needs done. I mean really needs done. You have a deadline that is rapidly approaching. And your back is against the wall to get this thing completed. These are the scenarios when we are more likely to make a really bad decision, so here’s your caution.
The greater the emergency we face the more likely we are to choose someone for what they can do, not for who they are. Let that sink in for a second. It’s super easy to choose someone for their competency and capacity and ignore their character and integrity.
Character trumps competency any day of the week!
There’s a saying in leadership that goes something along the lines of you can never out lead your character. Man is that true or what! Have you ever seen this? Someone has all the right stuff to get the job done, but they’re a real selfish jerk. You do know that won’t end well right?
I remember when I was a car salesman. We had a great team, for the most part. There was that one sales person however that was really good at what they did, but they had some spots on their character that were pretty questionable. Now questionable character isn’t about being a good vs bad person. It’s about being immoral and selfish vs a kind team player. No matter how many cars this person sold, no one wanted to be around them. And they had fewer repeat and referral customers because this person was obviously in it for themselves and thought waaaay too much of themselves!
Character trumps competency any day of the week.
So when it comes to hiring or staffing for the next job or bringing on volunteers to help with that thing your nonprofit is doing, take a few extra minutes to look beyond a person’s capacity. Ask a few character questions to make sure they don’t burn the organization to the ground while they’re getting the job done.
Here are some of the quick character questions I use.
How well do I really know this person?
What do their friends/family say about them?
What are they really good at doing?
What are they really bad at doing?
Ask the person when’s the last time they failed, and how they reacted. This is less about competency and achievement. The purpose here is to determine if they are willing to admit mistakes and how well they recover from those mistakes. These are character issues.
What one word do others use to describe this person?
There are a ton more questions you can ask. I’d love to hear what character questions you find helpful in this process. By the way, these questions are good questions to use on yourself as well. Your character matters too!
