living for eternity today

Tag: maturity

Pie Slinging Problems

The tendency, when we face a problem, is to look outside of us for the problem and inside for the solution. We do it all the time actually. It’s the blame game. Something goes wrong and it’s generally someone, or something, else’s fault.

You get to work late, so it’s traffic’s fault. You oversleep. It surely has to be that your alarm didn’t even go off. You can’t stick to a diet. Well it must be that the other people in your house don’t diet the same way you do so you give in just to make them feel better.

This is not a healthy approach to problem solving and it stems from a significant internal issue. There is a better and healthier way to look at things. The problem generally is inside of us while the solution is outside of us.

When we identify the problem as being someone else’s fault, we tend to think we are our own right answer. Going to be late for work? Instead of getting up a little earlier, which often means going to bed a little earlier, we drive a little faster. When the problem is cast onto someone else then the solution is sought by deeper resolve or greater effort.

But what happens if we flip the script on this? What happens when we admit our fault in the problem? Instead of throwing the pie of blame at someone else, we belly up to the table and eat the pie we baked with our own actions.

I unfortunately see this in my life as a pastor as well. It actually happens more often than I’d like to admit. We feel a little dry in our spiritual life. We aren’t getting anything out of church. We feel like the music is meh at best. We don’t like that style or the way he dresses. We don’t like the preaching style or the way she confronted me about that issue (even though I know I’m wrong).

Whatever it is, we all too often react the same way. We cast blame on the other party and leave. We feel like the worship isn’t what we want, so we leave for greener pastures elsewhere. Or we walk away because they are obviously the problem.

The issue is that problem will follow us. The issue is we’re doing it for the wrong reason, with the wrong heart. Maybe it’s not the worship that’s dry? Maybe it’s that our heart isn’t in the right place! Maybe it’s not that we were offended by the way we were called out for something? Maybe it’s that we actually feel guilty. And instead of repenting of these things, it’s easier to just turn and walk away.

But walking away from our brokenness won’t fix it. Blaming someone else for something that really is our problem, won’t make the problem go away. It might delay its effects. It might elongate the time between the problem and the explosion in our lives. But it won’t make it go away.

Isaiah really drives this home in his letter in the Bible. Look some don’t like the Bible because it’s all churchy, whatever that really means. But the Bible is massively practical. Even if you’re not a religious person, I’m sure you can get something very practical out of the things found in the Bible.

Isaiah walks through the life of Israel. He talks about their problems and the many issues they’ve faced in life. Then around chapter 43-44 he starts to show how it’s not that God is the problem. It’s that their heart is the problem. They were offering sacrifices but didn’t really care about them. They were showing up for worship and getting nothing out of it. They were there but not really present.

They were going through the motions! And so do we at times.

Isaiah’s answer…repent and come back. If you’ve run from the problems in life, blaming everyone along the way, then it’s time to stop running. It’s time to turn around, repent/apologize and make amends. It’s time to claim your piece in the pie so you can healthily move on.

If you’re a pie slinger, then you’re really missing out. Some of this pie might be a little bitter, but I can promise you that if you take time to claim your piece of the pie your relationships will be stronger and your life will actually be more fulfilling.

Do Not Run-away

Well, it’s Wednesday and if you’re awake anywhere in the world, you undoubtedly know that life can sometimes be challenging. As a matter of fact the odds are pretty strong that you are having a bad day right now.

If you’re having a great day, then good for you! I pray it stays that way and that this might be helpful sometime down the road. If you’re in one of those rough slumps, then I want to encourage you to keep going.

There are a couple different natural reactions to challenge in life. We call them fight or flight typically. The one is to rise above and push hard to bull your way through a challenging ordeal. The other is probably more typical, and it involves walking away and never looking back.

While the fight or flight methods are generally applied across the board in a variety of scenarios, there is a stark reality that we rarely consider when it comes to running away from our struggles or from those situations that are hard for us. You can’t really run away. It just doesn’t work like that.

You cannot run away from your problems because you bring you with you wherever you go. Nine times out of ten, we play a significant role in the problem we’re trying to flee. And if we’re trying to get away from a problem that we’re part of, then it just won’t work. You can’t run away from yourself!

We love to push blame on other people when it comes to our problems. It’s always someone else’s fault. She said such and such. He wasn’t kind. But what if the issue is inside us? What if it’s not her words or his tone or their actions? What if the problem really is our predisposition to not be able to handle our own shortcomings?

I know it’s tempting to hit the road when challenges arise. I know that many feel this is the best way to handle things, but it really isn’t. It might get you away from the person you no longer want to be around. It might get you out of a situation that’s uncomfortable. But it won’t fix anything, because there’s a really good chance at least part of the ownership of the problem lies in you.

Take time to evaluate the real root of the problem. Take inventory of what role you played in the situation from which you’re trying to run. Pause to collect yourself. Then step back in with a cool head and honest heart. It’s the only way to make sure you don’t take the problem with you wherever you go.

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