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Focus

March 12, 2024 / / 2 Comments

I recently went to the eye doctor and rediscovered something I’ve known for a while. Yes I have decent eye sight and no I don’t need glasses. He told me two things that weren’t really new but were reminders for me.

The first thing he told me was that my right eye is near-sighted which means I have a harder time seeing things farther away. And while that sounds like a problem, and it would be if I didn’t have my left eye. You see my left eye has just the opposite issue. It’s far sighted which means it sees better farther away. This means, according to my eye doctor, that I have the best possible scenario for someone who’s either near or far sighted. Because I’m both! I told him I’ve always been a bit of an over achiever.

That was met with a slight eye roll and sympathetic laughter.

The second issue he mentioned with regard to my eyes wasn’t about how they can see near or far. The issued I’ve had since I was at least in grade school is that my eyes naturally see wider than narrow. That means when you hold a book and your eyes focus on that book at a normal arm’s length, my eyes have to strain to turn inward to see that book. It doesn’t hurt at all. It’s just a fact that my eyes’ natural center is much farther out than a normal person.

These two conditions combined mean that I have to focus on focusing. Most people don’t have to think about their line of sight or how to focus on a book up close or poster farther away. Not so with me. I have to force my eyes to lock in on a book when I’m hold in it up close. Then I have to make sure I let my left eye focus on objects farther away while I let righty handle that stuff up close.

Ok long intro here I know but stick with me. Focus is a huge thing for many of us. Not as much eye focus as mental focus. Ever have one of those moments when you have to force yourself to tune everything out? Studying for a test and there’s noise from your little brother filling your room? Trying to read a book and the television is on in the background because your spouse isn’t the book worm that you are?

Focus is essential and in a digital world that focus often gets even more challenging. I’ve been on zoom calls when my dog decided that was the perfect time to get the zoomies. If you’re not a dog person, that’s what we call it when the dog takes off running around for no apparent reason and can’t be stopped until she’s totally worn out. Yeah that’s a fun one!

But it’s not just outside noises that cause us to lose focus. We get distracted by the noises filling our heads. Ha that sounds funny. I don’t mean hearing voices, although maybe??? But more the laundry list of things that need done filtering through your mind when you’re trying to do something else.

I find myself doing this probably more than I’d like to admit. Sitting down to read my bible in the morning and my calendar or to do list start yelling at me. Take time to pray for those people in my life who are struggling or celebrating and yep you guessed it. I get distracted by my stomach growling, wondering if I locked my car in the parking lot, realizing I’m getting hungry, wondering if my family will make it to work or school safely. You know all the things that pull my focus away from what I’m trying to do!

Here’s the deal. There are tools that can help you with focus. I had to have glasses that acted like prisms to kind of spread the words on a book outward so my eyes didn’t have to work as hard. Then my eyes learned to adjust so that now I don’t need that anymore.

With practice and an intentional focus on focus, you’ll be able to cut through the clutter of life and see the most important things going on in the moment. So if you struggle with focus like I do, then try this.

  • Give the distraction room for a second. The more you fight the distraction the more distracting it will be. Give it room in your mind for a second to see if it needs your attention or if it can wait.
  • Write it down. After giving it a little breathing room, if you decide your invading thought is valid and needs attention just jot it down on a piece of paper or in the notes app on your phone.
  • Then leave it alone! Refocusing after a foreign invader comes in and derails your meditation can be challenging. After you write it down set the paper or phone aside and try to pick back up.
  • Breathe. Yep you need to do it anyway so why not let your breathing help bring you back to the moment right before you went all ADHD. Take a breath. Calm yourself. Let the distraction just kind of fade into oblivion. I find it helpful to really hone in on breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth. Getting full, deep breaths can be super helpful.

Whatever works for you is the process you should really try. But you’re not allowed to say I can’t focus. You just need to focus on getting focused. The more practice you have focusing through distractions the easier it will be to stay focused when those distractions creep in.

Is it time for a facelift?

August 5, 2022 / / 0 Comments

There are things in our lives that we do over and over without much thought. They become so routine that they end up losing meaning over time. This happens in just about every area of life and every industry. The benefit of larger industries is that they typically will staff people to keep them forward thinking, but not always.

One of my many jobs was in the car sales world. That is an industry that has needed a facelift for along time in how business was done. When I entered the sales floor area, the strategy was sell a car. The approach was by any means necessary – ok within some realm of reason. Through my years in that world, we underwent an intention facelift to how we did what we did. Our what and why did not change, but our how needed to change with the times because we quickly realized the methods no longer were effective nor efficient to accomplish our purpose.

Another area that contains practices that need a bit of a facelift are found in the church. Now I’m not getting into a war on worship or bible version or preaching style but something hopefully a lot less controversial. I’m talking about small groups. I have a love-hate relationship with these little monsters.

Small groups are wonderful additions to the life of a church to be certain! But there is always a danger that they become stagnant, slow the mission, and even cause division.

A typical small group

The most typical way a small group happens in most churches today is that a group of people who believe the same thing gather together to have a bible study. They’ll ask some opening questions about life. But essentially it’s time to dive into the bible. They’ll close with a prayer and head home. Most of the small group is generally lead by one person, who normally is the who plays the role of host. But when the group heads home, there isn’t much left to do until they gather again in a week or potentially two.

An alternative to the normal

I’ve been told that I do things a little different and to me that’s just fine. The how isn’t (nor has it ever been) set in stone to my knowledge. The what and the why are significantly more rigid but the how in my understanding should be more flexible.

I have taken the approach with small groups that they can’t be just a small version of what we do on Sunday morning. I mean one person talks. The group listens. We sing. Pray. Then everyone goes home to consider what this means. Then come back next week. It can’t be a wash, rinse, and repeat scenario!

I believe there’s a new direction small groups need to take in our shifting cultural landscape. The approach is to give these groups a purpose beyond themselves. I challenge small groups to have four key components: Community, Prayer, Biblical Equipping, Mission. Each of these four keys is critical to keep the group from being a Jesus social club. And if you’ve never been in a small group that has these four elements, I’m just going to say you’re missing out.

Community isn’t really all that earth shattering. We were created to be in community. God was first disappointed that Adam was alone so he created a community for him. We are designed to live in community with one another. The way we express community in our small group is to eat a meal together. Each meal is designed to let all participants bring something to share. The point isn’t the food really. It’s the community that is established over the meal. We let our defenses down when we eat together. We ask questions and catch up on life. It’s a wonderful way to love our neighbors as ourselves as well, because as we share life together we learn how we can serve one another.

Prayer isn’t really just the whole before a meal and for the sick people kind of prayer. It’s a shared experience of worship. We share the praying responsibility. Each person adding to the prayer as they see fit. Prayer is a form of worship. This is the focus of this time of prayer to focus our lives around the provision and providence of God.

Biblical Equipping is like Bible study on steroids. It’s not just a quick this is what the Bible says kind of thing. It’s looking at a section of the bible and inviting everyone to be part of the discussion. What did you hear? What stands out at you? Where else have you heard this same things in the Bible? If we applied this what would be different? There are a ton of questions we can ask of any Bible section to let the text equip us for works of service and ministry. Which if you’re keeping score here is the task of the church! There is always an application, rubber meets the road kind of approach in the Biblical equipping portion.

Mission is where we rarely get in our typical small groups, but it is absolutely essential! Serve somewhere together. It’s super easy. We’ve cleaned up a neighborhood, prayer walked, folded bulletins at church, set up for an event, provided food to police and fire, adopted a family at Christmas time. The sky is the limit here. The idea is simple. Do something with the faith you claim to have in your Biblical Equipping portion.

The key to all of this is just because it worked 40 years ago doesn’t mean it will work today. Churches talk about reaching new people, well what a better way than through an intentional time of equipping one another for works of service using the Bible!

Just like the car dealership didn’t change its focus when we changed our sale process, so also the church doesn’t change its focus when we shift our how to a new approach. Still selling cars just in a different way. Still growing in Christ together just using a different approach.

Life Is About Perspective

March 23, 2022 / / 0 Comments

Every situation in life comes with a choice of how we’re going to approach it. Are we going to try to find a problem in every situation, or are we going to be part of a solution? I read an article recently where the author said it has to be exhausting to always be looking for a problem in the world. Pray for those people. I never really thought of that before, but it’s so very true! And it reminds me of something I learned as a child and that we teach regularly.

If all we do is search for something wrong, I can guarantee you’ll be able to find it. But I can also guarantee that you’ll be a much less joyful person in the process. It seems that we live in a world where people are riddled with this desire to find a problem. We listen to the news to pick apart the facts that are presented. We scroll through our social media feeds to find something written that doesn’t line up with what we think, believe, or how we live. We look at people and judge their actions or clothing or speaking just to find something wrong with them.

Does it make us feel better? Do we do this in an effort to build ourselves up by using the pieces of someone else’s life that we smashed?

If you have to smash someone else’s life in an effort to make yourself look or feel better, then you my friend not only have a problem but frankly are a problem. There’s a principle that we teach in the church that’s based on one of the commands of God in the Old Testament. Put the best construction on everything.

Do you do that? Do you read someone’s social, listen to them speaking, watch them walking, evaluate their clothing situation and put the best construction on them? Or do we jump to conclusions and judge based on what our preconceived opinion sees and hears?

Look, I get it. Not everyone is like you. And you aren’t going to agree with everyone. But there are some things that you can just let go. You don’t have to be the social media troll that pipes up on everything you don’t agree with just to raise trouble.

Now as in everything in life, there are exceptions to this just keep quiet rule. There are times when it is very beneficial and even necessary to say something. If someone is living a life that is dangerous, incongruent with their expressed belief, or just out of the norm for them. These can be indicators that something is drastically wrong. But make sure to check your heart and your motives before you say something. Carefully evaluate your intentions. Are you doing this for you or for them? Is your intent to gain understanding of what’s going on in their life or to infuse their life with your opinion?

If we truly pause long enough to evaluate our intentions, then it’s very likely most of the things we were going to say are not necessary or even beneficial. So it’s really all about perspective. Are you looking at something from your vantage point and trying to make someone else see your side of things? Or are you selflessly entering a conversation with no agenda other than to humbly learn someone else’s point of view? When you figure this out, you’ll soon see what it means to put the best construction on everything.

Where Do You Focus Your Efforts?

June 30, 2021 / / 0 Comments
Confetti Cannon Rental for Events and Parties | BYB Event Services

Have you ever been at a party where they had a confetti cannon? Those things make a mess! The bits of paper and glittery items go everywhere. It makes a mess and gets on literally everything. Sometimes I think we live our lives kind of like confetti cannons. We just kind of throw our efforts in just about any direction possible and see what sticks. We disburse our efforts in a manner that, if we’re honest, has very little impact.

We do a lot of things in an ok manner and do nothing really well. If you’ve ever heard the phrase Jack of all trades, master of none or I know just enough to be dangerous. These are statements that indicate we have a confetti gun approach to life. While there’s nothing inherently wrong with knowing a little about a lot of things, it does keep us from making a deep and lasting impact.

At a conference years ago a speaker said something that just kind of stuck with me. He said, Do for one what you wish you could do for everyone. That phrase is branded in my mind. There are so many people that we want to help. So many groups we want to support. So many hobbies we want to learn. But what if we sink some intentional time into one or two things and do them for the long haul?

The problem with trying to help everyone or do everything is that we either make no real impact when we try to do it all or we get so overwhelmed that we end up dropping everything and doing nothing. But if we can focus on just one or two things and do them well, helping one or two people/groups intentionally for a longer duration of time, then we can make a bigger impact in the long run.

So the challenge is to determine what to stop doing, what to start doing, and what to keep doing. That’s a task we can’t cover in a blog post. There are some questions and some exercises you can do to figure out where you should focus your efforts. But to get you started make a list of all the things your confetti cannon is shooting. Estimate the time or effort each one needs. Then rate them honestly by how your skills and interests match up with each of them. That is a good place to start when it comes to narrowing your focus and making a lasting impact.

Less Media

December 18, 2020 / / 0 Comments

Simply put media can suck the life out of us. I don’t mean mainstream media necessarily. I’m talking media of all sorts! From movies to tv shows and social media to games on our phones and computers these things can be colossal time sucks! And time is our most precious asset. We can’t make more of it. When we squander it, it’s gone. And we have a limited supply of it.

Be wise in how you use your media time. Today’s weekly habit is to create a system to organize and monitor how much media time you’re actually indulging in. Then setting healthy boundaries and limits on what is right for your particular situation.

Now I can hear some people saying that they’re not doing anything wrong on their devices or when they watch tv so why is it a problem? Well, think of it this way, you don’t have to be doing something wrong to be missing something good.

Practical Steps

  • Use your screen time function on your cell phone or tablet to help you see how much time you are spending on different forms of media.
  • Make a list of your go to forms of media and how much time you think is reasonable to spend on each one. Add up all the times to see how much time you’ll be giving to your technology.
  • Turn off autoplay on your video streaming devices.
  • Set timers for how long you will be on a device and stop when the timer goes off. No excuses.

Our technology is a wonderful tool and a great asset. These things can really provide the breaks in our day that we need and allow us to shift our focus to something mundane for a needed break. But they can also be a terrible waste of time that we will never get back. Be mindful of who and what you’re giving your precious time to!

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