Tag: disciple (Page 7 of 43)

Why We Celebrate Baptism as a Church Family

August 29, 2025 / / 0 Comments

At Living Word, we celebrate every time someone is baptized. Some people wonder, “Why make such a big deal about it? Isn’t Baptism just a personal, private moment between me and God?”

Simple answer: Baptism is never just private. It’s always communal. It’s always family.

This is why I rarely, if ever, will do a private baptism service. I’ve been asked on a number of occasions to perform a baptism in private because the person is shy or doesn’t want a big deal made of it. That’s like having a family reunion and not inviting your family. We just don’t do that. We want to celebrate and welcome you as part of our faith family!

Baptism brings us into God’s family

When you’re baptized, you’re not only united with Jesus. You’re united with His people. The Church isn’t a random collection of strangers who happen to sit in the same building on Sundays. It’s a family of believers marked by the same promise: “You are mine. I have called you by name. You are washed clean.”

That’s why Baptism is one of the most powerful reminders of what the Church really is. It’s not a club. It’s not a hobby. It’s not just a Sunday gathering. It’s a family born of water and the Spirit.

How Baptism reflects our values

When we celebrate Baptism, we are living out the very values that shape us as a church:

  • Life works best with Jesus. Baptism is where life in Christ begins. It’s the starting point of grace and a future anchored in Him.
  • We bring families and kids closer to Jesus. Baptism isn’t just for adults; it’s God’s promise for every generation. It reminds us that kids don’t have to “earn” God’s love by a faithful decision. They’re included from the start.
  • Jesus turns strangers into family here. A person walks into the water as one, and comes out belonging to many. In Baptism, God weaves us together.
  • We share Jesus’ love in our neighborhoods. Baptism isn’t the finish line. It’s the launchpad. We’re sent into the world as living witnesses of what Jesus has done.

A celebration for everyone

This is why the whole church gathers around the font. When a child is baptized, parents and sponsors are reminded that they’re not raising this child in faith alone. They have a whole community walking alongside them. When an adult is baptized, the entire church family celebrates with tears, applause, and joy, because we all know: this is a miracle of God’s grace.

And here’s the best part: every Baptism we witness is a reminder of our own. We get to rehearse the promises spoken over us: “I forgive you. I claim you. I call you my child.”

Looking ahead

This Sunday we’ll continue in our Washed series and dive into more of the deep truths of God’s grace poured out for us in the waters of baptism. We’ll see what it means to be “buried with Christ and raised to walk in newness of life.” Baptism isn’t just a splash of water on your past. It’s a whole new future.

Don’t miss it. Bring someone with you. Let’s celebrate together.

Baptism isn’t just a moment in your life. It’s the beginning of a family that lasts forever.

How Baptism Makes Us Holy

August 27, 2025 / / 0 Comments

If you’ve ever tried to read through Leviticus, you know it’s not exactly beach reading. It’s full of laws, sacrifices, and instructions that make our head spin. But buried in all of that detail is something powerful that points straight to waters of Baptism.

The priests of Israel had one job above all others: bring God’s people into His presence. But before they could even step foot in the temple, they had to wash themselves with water. Not because they were sweaty. Not because they tracked mud in from the desert. No, it was because a holy God can’t be approached by unholy people. Washing was about holiness.

Fast forward to Jesus

Now flip forward a few centuries. Jesus shows up and says something radical: “Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up” (John 2:19). People thought He was crazy. But John tells us Jesus wasn’t talking about bricks and stone. He was talking about His body. Jesus Himself is the new temple. The meeting place of God and man.

And then Paul drops another truth bomb in my confirmation verse. “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God?” (1 Corinthians 6:19).

Did you catch that?

  • First, priests had to wash before they could enter the temple.
  • Then, Jesus says He is the temple.
  • Now, through Jesus, we are temples of the Holy Spirit.

So what about the washing?

This is where Baptism comes in. Just like those priests couldn’t walk into God’s presence without being cleansed, neither can we. But here’s the good news: you don’t have to scrub yourself clean with rituals or rules. God has already washed you.

Titus 3:5 says it like this: “He saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit.”

That’s Baptism. God takes you, broken and unclean, and He washes you with living water connected to His Word. He makes you holy. He marks you as His temple. He fills you with His Spirit. It’s all about what He does for you! How cool is that!

Let’s be honest: some days we don’t feel very holy. You feel messy. You feel like your past defines you. You feel like God couldn’t possibly want to live in someone like you.

That’s when you go back to Baptism. Not to re-do it, but to re-claim it. You’ve been washed. You’ve been made holy. You are God’s temple. His Spirit lives in you.

Take this truth with you

Next time you doubt your worth, remember this:
Baptism is God’s declaration that you are clean, holy, and His dwelling place.

The priests had to wash before they entered God’s presence. You’ve already been washed, which means you live in God’s presence every single day.

Washed Clean: Why Baptism Matters

August 25, 2025 / / 0 Comments

Yesterday at Living Word we opened our new series Washed, and we started with a simple but courageous truth: Baptism is not about what we do for God. It’s about what God does for us.

That’s bold, and it cuts against the grain of how we usually think. We live in a world that says “prove yourself, earn it, make it happen.” But Baptism tells a different story. Baptism says, “You are not defined by what you do, you are defined by what Jesus has done for you.”

God does the washing

Think about the priests in the book of Leviticus. Before they could walk into the temple and stand before a holy God, they had to wash. It wasn’t optional. It wasn’t about scrubbing dirt , it was about being made holy.

Fast forward to Jesus. He calls Himself the new Temple (John 2:19–21). Paul later reminds us that we are now temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19). Here’s the question: how does God make us holy temples? The answer is Baptism. In those waters, God Himself does the washing.

Baptism unites us with Jesus

Paul says in Romans 6:4: “We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life.”

That means when you were baptized, your old self was drowned. Your guilt, your shame, your sin all nailed to the cross and buried in the tomb. And when Jesus walked out of the grave, He pulled you up with Him. You’re not just forgiven. You are alive.

Baptism gives you a family

Here’s the part I love most. Baptism doesn’t just give you a new identity, it gives you a new family. The Church isn’t a group of strangers who happen to sit in the same building on Sunday. It’s a family of people marked by the same promise: “You are mine. I have called you by name. You are washed clean.”

At Living Word, this is why we cheer, clap, and celebrate every Baptism. Because it’s not just their story. It’s a reminder of our story too.

Carry this truth with you

This week, I want you to hold onto one simple line:

Baptism is not just water. It’s water connected to God’s Word that makes us new.

When you feel unworthy, remember: you’ve been washed.
When shame creeps in, remember: you’ve been claimed.
When you wonder if you belong, remember: you’ve been given a family.

That’s why Baptism matters. And that’s why we’ll keep returning to the water again and again not because we need to be re-baptized, but because we need to be re-anchored in the promise of what God has already done for us in Jesus.

T.E.R.M. Limits

August 12, 2025 / / 0 Comments

Most Christians don’t struggle with saying Jesus is Lord.

We just struggle with living like He is.

Sure, we trust Him with our eternity. We trust Him with our sins. But when it comes to the everyday stuff like the calendar, the bank account, the retirement plan suddenly the throne of our lives gets very crowded.

Let’s be honest: biblical generosity isn’t usually where discipleship begins. It’s where it culminates.

Giving is often the last stronghold we surrender in our walk with Jesus. Why? Because generosity isn’t just about money. It’s about control. It’s about security. It’s about faith.

That’s why Jesus talked about it so much. Not because He needed our stuff, but because our stuff has a way of replacing Him as our Savior.

Entrusting Jesus with Your T.E.R.M.

True discipleship means giving Jesus full authority over our T.E.R.M. That stands for our Time, Energy, Relationships, and Material resources. Until we do, we’re still holding back. We’re still hedging our bets. We’re still following Him… with conditions.

Let’s break it down:

Time

You can tell a lot about someone’s priorities by looking at their calendar. Does Jesus get the leftovers, or the firstfruits?

Do we have margin in our schedule for worship, prayer, service, or is our time budget already maxed out with soccer practices, Netflix, and overtime hours?

Paul says:

“Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.” (Ephesians 5:15–16, ESV)

If Jesus is Lord of our life, He must also be Lord of our time.

Energy

We all wake up with a certain amount of gas in the tank. And if we’re honest, most of us use it all on ourselves.

But discipleship means pouring out your energy not just on making a living, but on making disciples with your kids, your friends, your neighbors, your church.

“Let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9, ESV)

Where you invest your energy shows who you believe is worthy of it.

Relationships

Who gets your best? To whom do you open your heart? Who do you serve without expecting anything in return?

Biblical generosity includes the giving of yourself to people who can’t pay you back. That’s grace. That’s the whole point of the Gospel.

And that’s exactly what Jesus did.

“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13, ESV)

Our relationships reflect our theology. Do we live like people are eternal, or are we too busy managing our circle for convenience?

Material Resources

Here’s where the rubber meets the road. Giving our stuff. This is where we talk about giving sacrificially, regularly, cheerfully. And it’s often the most tangible evidence of spiritual maturity.

Yet, it’s the part most Christians dodge, delay, or delegate.

“No one can serve two masters… You cannot serve God and money.” (Matthew 6:24, ESV)

Ouch. That one hits hard. Because most of us have tried. We keep both masters in the room and try to play the spiritual field.

But the truth is, you can’t follow Jesus with one hand on your wallet and one foot in the world.

Why Generosity Is the Final Stage

When we finally entrust Jesus with our T.E.R.M., we stop compartmentalizing our faith. It’s no longer “Jesus on Sunday and me the rest of the week.” It’s not “Jesus gets my heart, but I’ll keep my bank account, my calendar, and my comfort zones.”

It’s full surrender.

Because the goal of discipleship isn’t learning more about Jesus. It’s becoming more like Him.

And He didn’t give sporadically, spontaneously, or sparingly.

He gave everything.

“Though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you by his poverty might become rich.” (2 Corinthians 8:9, ESV)

That’s not just good theology. That’s the blueprint.

Time to Take Inventory

So here’s the challenge: take a T.E.R.M. inventory.

  • Are you giving God your time or just squeezing Him in when it’s convenient?
  • Are you spending your energy on eternal things or are you running on fumes chasing temporary ones?
  • Are your relationships a reflection of Jesus or are they curated for your comfort?
  • Are your finances surrendered or are they still “off-limits” in your spiritual life?

Until we surrender all four, our discipleship is still unfinished.

But the moment we entrust Jesus with our T.E.R.M. that’s the moment we stop calling the shots, and start living like He’s truly Lord.

So… where are you still holding back?

Christian Generosity Needs a Reboot

August 6, 2025 / / 0 Comments

It’s no secret, giving can be hard.

Sometimes it feels like kale. We know it’s good for us, but we’re not exactly craving it.

And yet, generosity is central to what it means to follow Jesus.

The problem? Most American Christians give like they eat kale, occasionally, reluctantly, and only when someone guilts them into it. That’s what I’ve heard called 3S giving: sporadic, spontaneous, and sparing.

The 3S Giving Problem

The numbers don’t lie. According to a 2022 State of the Plate report:

  • Only 5% of American churchgoers give 10% or more of their income.
  • 50% of people who attend church give $0 in a year.
  • The average American Christian gives about 2.5% of their income.
  • And giving as a percentage of income was actually higher during the Great Depression than it is today.

We’re not talking about people in dire poverty here. We’re talking about suburban believers with gym memberships, Amazon Prime, Netflix, the latest iPhone and a side hustle to pay for their dog’s grain-free diet.

Giving isn’t broken because we’re broke. Giving is broken because our hearts are.

Jesus was clear:

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (Matthew 6:21, ESV)

He’s saying the way we give reflects what we treasure.

Enter the Rich Young Ruler

Remember that guy in Mark 10? This rich young ruler comes to Jesus, eager to inherit eternal life. Jesus lists off a few commandments. The man checks all the boxes. He’s nailed it. But then Jesus drops the mic:

“You lack one thing: go, sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” (Mark 10:21, ESV)

And what does the man do?

“Disheartened by the saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions.” (Mark 10:22, ESV)

He walked away!. Not because he didn’t love God, but because his stuff had a stronger grip on him than Jesus did.

Let’s not judge him too quickly. He’s us. He’s the modern Christian who tips God with a leftover $20 once in a while but wouldn’t dare rearrange their lifestyle to become truly generous.

There’s a Better Way: The 3P Giving Framework

If 3S giving is sporadic, spontaneous, and sparing, we need a shift. Let’s talk about 3P giving instead. This giving is:

  1. Priority-Based
    Give first. Before the bills, before the extras. It’s not about what’s left at the end of the month. It’s about putting God first.“Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the firstfruits of all your produce.” (Proverbs 3:9, ESV)
  2. Percentage-Based
    Choose a percentage of your income and commit to it. Start somewhere, anywhere! Maybe 5%, 10%, maybe even more. Percentage giving grows us in faith and reminds us that all we have is God’s anyway.
  3. Progressive
    As God blesses you, grow in generosity. The goal isn’t to check a box and stay there forever. It’s to stretch, to trust, and to keep growing. Could you imagine doing a reverse tithe? That’s living on 10% while giving away 90%! It can be done if we try hard enough.

Imagine if every Christian embraced 3P giving. Churches would have all the resources needed to expand ministry. Missionaries could be sent. Families in crisis could be helped. Needs in the community could be met with abundance instead of scarcity.

Let’s Laugh (and Then Get Serious)

Sure, giving hurts sometimes. You might hear your bank account groan a little. You might have to delay that 17th streaming service or put off the latest gadget. But you’re trading temporary comforts for eternal impact.

Generosity isn’t just a money thing. It’s a heart thing. It’s about becoming people who trust God more than stuff, who treasure heaven more than Amazon, and who know that we’ve been given everything in Christ, so we live open-handedly in response.

“Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” (2 Corinthians 9:7, ESV)

So here’s the challenge:
Audit your giving. Be honest. Are you living in the 3S world and giving sporadically, spontaneously, and sparingly? Or are you stepping toward 3P generosity that gives with priority, by percentage, and in a progressive way?

Let’s not be the rich young ruler who walks away. Let’s be the ones who follow and give with joy.

A Seat at the Table

July 22, 2025 / / 1 Comment

While at the gathering we’ve been treated to original poems by Tanner Olson. Here’s my crack at a written to speak style poem summarizing last night’s event. Remember it’s written to speak which means you kind of need to read it aloud to get the rhythm to it.

I didn’t earn this place.
Didn’t climb enough ladders
or check the right boxes.
Didn’t bring a spotless résumé
or a perfect past,
just a mess of mistakes
and a hunger that wouldn’t quit.

But the table was set.
Candles flickered with welcome.
Chairs pulled out like open arms.
And there, at the head
was Jesus.
Not a scowling judge,
but a smiling Host,
nails in His hands,
grace in His eyes.

He didn’t ask what I brought.
Didn’t weigh my worth
on scales of effort or achievement.
He just said,
“Come. Sit. Eat.
You belong here, not because of you,
but because of Me.”

See, this table isn’t for the perfect.
It’s for the hungry.
The weary.
The wanderers and wrecked.
It’s not about merit,
it’s about mercy.
Not performance,
but promise.

The Host broke the bread, His body.
Poured the wine, His blood.
And every bite, every sip,
tastes like grace
so rich
it ruins every lie
that said I wasn’t enough.

So here I sit,
shoulder to shoulder with saints and sinners,
all the same in His eyes
not because we climbed our way in,
but because He came down
and opened the door.

We get a seat at the table
not because we’re worthy,
but because He is.
And He says,
“This chair has your name on it.”
That’s grace.
And it’s dinner time.

I Am That Joy

July 21, 2025 / / 1 Comment

Inspired by Night 2 of the LCMS Youth Gathering & Hebrews 12:1–3

Some moments stay with you.

For many who gathered on Night 2 of the LCMS Youth Gathering, there was a phrase that echoed through the arena and hit deep into the soul:

“I am that joy.”

“Looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”  Hebrews 12:2 (ESV)

What was the joy set before Jesus?
You were.

That truth landed like a wave. Jesus endured the mockery, the nails, the weight of sin not out of obligation or guilt but with joy. And that joy was you. It was your restoration. It was your freedom. It was your life made new in Him.

You are the joy that kept Him on the cross.

That realization changes everything, especially in the moments we feel too broken, too stuck, or too far gone to endure in Jesus.

Because if we’re honest, sometimes we don’t.
We give in to old habits.
We isolate in shame.
We spiral into addiction, self-harm, porn, or self-loathing, wondering if there’s any way back.

But Night 2 didn’t stop at the hard truth. It pointed us to hope real, honest, Spirit-filled hope.

Jesus endured the cross not just to rescue us but to recreate us. When we surrender the broken pieces to Him, the Holy Spirit goes to work not simply to polish us up, but to make us new.

“If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.”  2 Corinthians 5:17 (ESV)

So if you’re feeling like you’ve failed to endure, hear this:

There is no shame in coming back.
There is no darkness too deep.
There is no mistake too final.

Because Jesus saw all of it and still, you were the joy set before Him.
He didn’t quit on you then.
He won’t quit on you now.

Hold This Close:

  • Remind yourself of this throughout this week: “I am that joy.”
  • When shame creeps in, remind yourself: Jesus endured for me.
  • Pray: “Holy Spirit, take the broken places in me and make me new. I want to endure in Jesus.”

Let’s walk in that joy. Let’s endure not alone, not by our own strength but in Jesus.

Endure

July 20, 2025 / / 0 Comments

There’s a reason the theme of this year’s Youth Gathering echoes loud and clear: Endure.

We live in a world where it’s easy to quit. Quit trying. Quit believing. Quit showing up. Life throws curveballs, culture applies pressure, and sometimes it feels like we’re barely holding on. But Hebrews gives us a different word. One that doesn’t ignore the struggle, but gives us power to walk through it:

“Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.” – Hebrews 12:1–2 (ESV)

Jesus endured.
Not just pain. Not just betrayal. Not just death. He endured the cross. The most brutal, shameful, and unjust suffering imaginable for you. For the joy of your salvation, your freedom, your future. And now, we don’t run alone. We run with Him the One who already won.

The LCMS Youth Gathering theme isn’t about mustering up fake strength or pretending everything’s fine. It’s about looking to Jesus and realizing we can endure because He already has. His victory isn’t just history. It’s your hope today.

Whether you’re facing a hard school year, a friendship that’s falling apart, mental health battles, or questions about your worth and future you need to hear this: Jesus sees you. He hasn’t left you. And He isn’t asking you to sprint through life alone.

Instead, He says: “I’ve walked this road. I know how it ends. Keep going. Keep trusting. I’m with you.”

Endurance doesn’t mean you won’t get tired. It means you keep going anyway step by step, day by day, with your eyes on the cross and your heart fixed on grace. The cloud of witnesses surrounds you (Hebrews 12:1). You are not alone. The #lcmsyg community across the country is running this race too and together, we hold on to the One who holds us.

So when life feels heavy, don’t quit. Look to Jesus. Remember the cross. He endured it for the joy of seeing you free. And because He endured, so can you.

Quick Encouragement

  • Write this verse somewhere visible to you this week: Hebrews 12:2
  • Pray something like this: “Jesus, help me to keep going. Fix my eyes on You when I feel like giving up. Remind me I’m not alone. You endured the cross for me help me endure through You.”

You’re not just surviving. You’re enduring with Jesus. And that changes everything.

The Cost of Distraction

July 16, 2025 / / 2 Comments

Ever feel like you’re drowning in noise.

Not just the sound of traffic or your neighbor’s dog or the 37th autoplay video on Instagram. I’m talking about the kind of noise that sits in your brain even when it’s quiet. The constant scroll, the endless to-do list, the pressure to keep up, to stay informed, to respond right now. We live in a world addicted to input. Every second of silence feels like wasted time, and every unoccupied moment screams to be filled with something, anything, just so we don’t have to sit still.

And if you’ve ever wondered, “Why does God feel so distant?”
Maybe it’s not that He’s silent.
Maybe it’s that we’ve forgotten how to listen.

Distracted Doesn’t Mean Disconnected, But It’s Dangerously Close

We don’t need a theological degree to know that something’s off.

You open your phone to check the weather and somehow 22 minutes later you’re watching a video about penguins ice-skating in slow motion. Or you sit down to breathe, maybe even pray, and your brain jumps straight to that email you forgot to send or the headline that just pinged your smartwatch.

We say we don’t have time for soul care, for reflection, for deeper things. But the truth is that we’re giving our attention to things that don’t even remember our names. And the tradeoff is killing us.

Peace? Gone.
Clarity? Unclear at best.
Spiritual depth? Drowned in noise.

There’s a cost to all this distraction. And it’s not just that we’re tired. It’s that we’re starving. Relationally. Emotionally. Spiritually. Starving!

Stillness Feels Like Rebellion

It almost seems like stillness is weird now. It feels unnatural. Like we’re doing something wrong if we’re not multitasking. But in a world that equates noise with importance and busyness with value, stillness is straight-up rebellious.

And yet, it’s exactly where God works best.

There’s a line from the Bible that says, “And behold, the Lord was not in the wind… not in the earthquake… not in the fire… but in the sound of a low whisper.” (1 Kings 19:11–12)

A whisper. Not a podcast. Not a push notification. Not a viral reel. Not a packed schedule. He was in the whisper.

God doesn’t compete for our attention like everything else. He’s not going to shout over the chaos. He waits until we’re ready to actually listen. And that’s the scary part. It’s scary because most of us never slow down long enough to be still.

The Fix?

It’s not going to be easy. But it will be worth it.

You won’t stumble into stillness accidentally. You have to fight for it. You have to get uncomfortable. You have to turn things off and shut things out and be okay with the fact that it might feel awkward and even a little boring at first. But you also have to believe this:

Stillness isn’t the absence of something. It’s the presence of Someone.

And maybe, just maybe, when the noise dies down and the distractions fade, we’ll find that God’s been whispering all along. Not with judgment. Not with pressure. But with love, grace, clarity, and peace.

You’re not crazy for feeling overwhelmed. You’re not broken for struggling to hear. But don’t ignore the ache inside you that knows something deeper is calling.

This is Part 1 of our series “Is It Me, or Is the World Just Louder Than God?”
Up next: Digital Detox and Soul Repair.

Because let’s be honest, your soul wasn’t made for 24/7 notifications.
And it’s time to get it back.

The Shift That No One Warns You About

June 26, 2025 / / 0 Comments

We spend years in the trenches of parenting between car seats and curfews, timeouts and tantrums, grades and guidance. For two decades (give or take), we pour everything we have into shaping, steering, and correcting. We raise them to grow up, to think for themselves, to stand on their own two feet. But here’s the reality: when they start doing exactly that, it can break your heart a little.

Because no one tells you what to do after the parenting stage shifts.

There’s a line no one draws for you, no neon sign that says: “Congratulations! You’ve officially moved from being the parent to a parent.” It’s subtle, but seismic. And if we’re not careful, we can sabotage the very adulthood we spent years cultivating.

Here’s the real challenge – distinguishing between parenting and being a parent.

Parenting is directional. Being a parent is relational.

When they’re young, your job is to correct, direct, and protect. You say no a thousand times just to keep them safe. You enforce rules because you love them more than their temporary happiness. You carry the weight of their future in your daily decisions.

But that job changes. And if we don’t let it change, we risk doing damage in the name of love.

When your child is 25 and you’re still trying to parent them like they’re 15, you’re not helping anymore. You’re controlling. You’re inserting yourself where you were never meant to stay.

That doesn’t mean you stop being a parent. It just means your role changes.

We move from “command” to “counsel.” From “authority” to “ally.”

And if we’re being real, this transition is terrifying. Because your adult child is going to make choices you wouldn’t. They’ll vote differently. Discipline differently. Date or marry someone you’re unsure about. They might even walk away from the faith you modeled.

And in that moment, you’ll feel the urge to step back into the parenting driver’s seat again. To say, “Not under my roof!” But it’s not your roof anymore. They have their own roof and if you want to be invited in, you’d better learn how to knock.

This is the fine line so many parents struggle with: how do you go from rule-enforcer to relationship-builder? How do you become a trusted voice without being a controlling presence?

Your relationship with your adult kids will never be stronger than your ability to respect their autonomy.

They don’t need your approval anymore. They need your availability. They need to know they can come to you, not that you’ll chase them down with unsolicited advice. They need space to fail, to fall, to figure it out, and to know you’ll be there, arms open, not arms crossed.

This doesn’t mean you never speak truth. But it means you speak it less like a judge and more like a friend. You earned the right to parent them. Now you must earn the right to influence them as adults.

Jesus modeled this kind of relationship. He told His disciples the truth, but He also called them friends (John 15:15). He empowered them. Released them. Trusted them. And He walked with them even when they didn’t get it all right.

Let’s raise our kids to be adults. Then let’s actually let them be adults.

You’ll grieve the old days, and that’s okay. But don’t miss the beauty of what’s ahead. You’re no longer raising them but you can still walk beside them. Encourage them. Celebrate them. Learn from them.

Because while parenting ends, being a parent never does. It just grows up with them.

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